Heart of Darkness
by kawaisugarcane
Summary: Since Mana's death Allen Walker has been taken in by the Earl as the 14 Noah.Allen has always felt guilty since he loves his family but would had preferred to be an exorcist.The Earl sends Allen into a mission that might just make his dream come true.
1. Disturbed

**Disclaimer: I don not own D. Gray Man but am glad Hoshino brought it to our lives and made it possible for me to make this fanfic in the first place.**

_**Chapter 1:Disturbed**_

_'I couldn't take it anymore. It had been 3 years since I had been taken in by the Earl as a Noah. Tough at first it felt reliving to finally have a family that loved me...I could still not come to accept the cursed Akuma souls who suffered for eternity...And that red haired man...why didn't he took me with him instead? All I remembered was me freeing Mana's soul from the Akuma and a blurry fight between the Earl and the red haired man, shortly fainting after and waking up into a small headache that would change my life forever. I had then started my life in the Ark as the 14th Noah, Neah. At least that's what they called me. I was still human and had yet to transform into my Noah form. For now all I got were some huge headaches that made me loose all sense of self and an innocence that they all seemed to hate tough they tried to hide away that fact from me._

_It was hard on me to accept that I would have to destroy humanity. Hard on me to watch the Noah kill so many humans and taking away the innocence, the hope of humanity. But by time I just had to suck it all in and act as I didn't cared. I love my family, I really do, as much as I loved Mana. No words could describe how grateful I was for all they had done for me... but deep down I had always had the gut feeling of guilt. Because I hate every little thing they do when it comes to the duty of a Noah. Oh how would it have been if I had just been an exorcist instead of a Noah with an innocence...Would things had been a little bit better? Would I had not be suffering as I am now? No...I don't want to doubt my family. Even if the Earl was the one who fooled me into turning Mana into an Akuma...that was his job and I have long forgiven him but still I have always had the strange feeling of wishing things would just have happened the other way around. With me as an exorcist...and the red haired man as my master..._'

A small tear fell from the white haired boy as he devoured his mitarashi dango. Tyki quickly noticing stared at the boy quietly from the other side of the table. The twins as always shooting at each other, Road playing with Lero, Skin beating up a maid to death, Lulu drinking some milk and the Earl enjoying a small egg with a giant grin drawn into it. Nobody seemed to notice the young boy's tears.

Allen didn't feel to well. It was hard on him to breath. He didn't know why but suddenly he felt wet things dripping from the sides of his eyes as everything got blurry. Quickly noticing he was crying he did his best to clean them up with his sleeve but they didn't seem to want to stop. No matter how hard he tried.

- Allen?- He finally heard. A spiky haired girl held his hand as she stared at him with concerned eyes.

- Oh shit- He thought to himself. Now all the member of Noah were staring at him. All with concerned faces.

-Is everything alright? - She asked leaning onto him a little bit, pressing her hand onto his forehead.

-Is it the headaches again? Do you want a-

-Excuse me- Allen politely let go of Road's arms as he let go of his mitarashi dango and quickly went to the direction of the door not noticing the Noah's calling out for him. He didn't want to come out as rude so he looked back before leaving the door with one of his famous fake smiles. - It's just a small headache nothing to worry about. -

Road still a bit shocked at how the boy had reacted shouted his name but it was already too late. The boy had already left the room.

- Haaa - Road sighed as she sat back eating his left out mitarashi dangos which were a lot in fact. Impossible for her to finish.- That boy's always getting into problems isn't he? -She sighed.

- Does he hate us that much! - Jasdero suddenly cried leaning on top of the table.

- Shut up! Shut up! - David left out tears come out of his eyes - Your making me cry. -

Soon all Noah's could feel tears flowing from their eyes. Road imitating Allen's former position eating mitarashi dango while crying. Lulu Bell who had lots of honor hid her face behind a small napkin hiding her tears. Skin who saw teardrops falling onto his candy. Even Tyki could feel his eyes getting wet.

The Millennium Earl stared at the event. He had long finished his egg and tough he remained silent he had seen everything that had just occurred. It wasn't surprising when he also felt tears roll down from his black sunglasses.

- W- What do we do Earl? - Road pleaded in between sobs

The Earl stared at Road in pity. He wanted to do something for Allen too, but what? What would make the white haired teen happy?

-B- bunch of morons! Why are you all crying! - Tyki screamed while hitting the table with one hand and doing his best to hide his tears with his tuxedos sleeve on the other hand.

- Your crying too! - Lulu Bell corrected him almost shouting as her face reddened.

- That damn Allen! I'm gonna kick his ass! - Skin smashed his candy, not bothering to hide his anger.

- It's- It's already been 3 years already - Road whimpered softly for only her to hear although everybody heard anyway - So why... - More tears fell from her ayes along with mucus. - Why does he still hate us! - She finally shouted pressing her hands on her face letting out a huge uncontrollable sob.

- E- everyone... - The Earl met with all the Noah's eyes except Road who was still hiding her face in between her hands. The Earl quickly tried to clean his tears with a napkin doing his best to hold them back.

All Noah's knew what was to come. So they tried to imitate him doing their best to hold their tears back. Jasdero gulped a bit. The soft whimper that was before was a dead silence now. Tears still flowing from their eyes but in silence. Road noticed quickly what was going on and controlled her sobbing too. The Earl was about to make a big announcement. And not a good one either seeing as the Earl struggled to get the words out of his throat.

- A...Well..-The Noah's leaned a bit closer. The Earl intimidated by the sudden attention, tough he liked it, suddenly looked down only to gather his strength back and look up again. - I'll talk with Allen for a bit I...- The Earl crossed views. The Noah's were noticeably confused making him chuckle a bit. - I have an idea on how to make the boy happy... - The faces slowly started to lighten up a bit but still with a worried glimpse on them. - But...we won't like it ourselves...- The Noah wanting to ask more saw as the Earl got up and left the room quickly. Similar to how Allen had done so a few moments ago.

The Earl was surprised to find Allen right beside the door of the hallway heavily breathing, with tears falling from his eyes and trembling hands pressed onto his forehead. Not because of Neah but because he was so confused. And the Earl noticed this not even bothering to ask if his head hurt.

-A- Allen! - The Noah's on the dinning room almost jumped off the chair as they heard the Earl shout in surprise. Holding their urge to run and find what had happened but they didn't as they knew the Earl hated more than anything to be interrupted on his "sessions".

The Earl stared at Allen in surprise. Had he heard him along with the Noah's crying just now! The Earl got a bit closer to the boy, making him seat on his knees, noticing the boy had not even noticed he was even there. Soft whispers slipping from his mouth. He leaned in a bit to try to hear them.

-P...s...N...M...re- Allen whispered in between heavy whimper.

-...? - The Earl remained silent trying his best to figure out just what the heck this boy was saying.

- Pl...ease...N...Ore...- He whimpered a bit louder now rocking his body slightly.

- Please...no...more? - The Earl repeated as he clearly knew what the boy was saying now making tears fall from his eyes anew.

- Wha- What's the meaning of this Allen! - The Earl pressed Allen into a tender hug. Allen not even changing his cold shocked expression.

- Why do you do this to us Allen? We love you, you know? - He started to whimper softly holding the urge to just shout it out.

- We love you...- The Earl repeated again feeling a bit defeated. Allen suddenly broke from his strange world and finally pressed the Earls hug back letting his tears flow freely, shocking the Earl.

- I know Earl...I love you all too - He gritted his teeth. - You don't know just how much you all mean to me...but- but -

The Earl widened his eyes. -But what...Allen? - He asked half already knowing the response.

Allen nervously let go of the Earls hug and cleaned his tears with his sleeves tough they still fell.

-I just can't stand the Noah's will, I don't want to kill, I don't want to destroy innocence, I don't want to keep staring at the pained Akuma's souls while not doing anything...- Allen's hands trembled as he looked down on them. - Sometimes I just wish I had been an exorcist instead of a Noah...I'm sorry Earl...I'm really sorry... -

The Earl was completely and utterly shocked. He knew the boy was not in agreement with the Noah way but he did not expect for the boy to actually want to be an exorcist! Was this all his fault! If only he had sent Allen on missions since the start he would had already gotten used to it and be comfortable with the Noah's ways. But instead he had locked Allen away from the world for 3 whole years on the ark. This boy had not seen the real world for so long. No wonder he was going insane. All he had done for the past years was train and purposely provoke Neah to awaken further.

- Allen... - He said trying to hide his slight anger and replacing it with sadness - That's your innocence that's making you think that - Allen who was looking at the floor raised his head a bit.

- Every person compatible with innocence has the natural instinct to want to be an exorcist. - The Earl lied a bit there tough not completely - I knew this day would come so it's not your fault. It's just an instinct you can overcome. - The Earl smiled even more than he could. - And I know your strong enough to overcome it... -

He brought Allen into yet another tender hug. Allen was quite speechless himself. Now he was even more confused than he was before tough for now he trusted in the Earl and his family so he let his thoughts go and believe every single thing the Earl was telling him tough not completely.

- You want to go on a mission then Allen? - The Earl sweetly asked Allen breaking the hug. Allen seemed disturbed at this question. Tough he expected the Earl would say this a little he found it kinda hard to respond.

-Maybe that way you'll finally be able to get used to the Noah life and overcome your corrupted innocence- Allen tough doubtfully finally nodded. The Earl was right, Allen hated the feeling of having to hate on his own family and just wanted to be a part of them already. He probably was just not used to all of this was all. Allen lost in his thoughts didn't notice the huge devilish grin that marked the Earl's face who was obviously glad his plan was working out. The Earl placed an arm on Allen's shoulder.

-Go get some rest for now Allen, come tomorrow morning to my room and there I'll explain you the mission - Allen was a bit suspicious. He knew the Earl was thinking of something devilish. He just hoped it weren't too bad.

- Can I ask? - Allen got up from where he was sat and slipped two migraine pills the Earl had just given him for the small headache he had.

-Hm? - The Earl flipped his face a bit

-Am I going alone or with company? - He asked obviously concerned. The Earl chuckled and slapped his fat stomach.

-Don't worry bout that boy! Your going with Tyki and Road and if necessary even me, Skin, Lulu and the twins will come! So no worries! -

-Eh?- Allen could not help but blink awkwardly at the Earl. Definitely he HAD something devilish planned out making him wanting to take his words on wanting to go on a mission back. Quickly the Earl and Allen waved good bye at each other. Allen to his room and the Earl back to the dinning room. As soon as the Earl entered the room Allen could clearly hear the Earl along with the Noah cheering in a way that almost seemed as a party. Allen sighed and laughed to nobody. Probably to himself. Sometimes he could not understand why did he tend to doubt his very own family. He sighed and continued his route still with the disgusted gut feeling but now with a bit of fear mixed in as well. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day.

**Please review as it motivates me to write further. I plan to continue this story. Any suggestions as well as critics would be appreciated, thx.**


	2. Memories

**Thank you so much to all who reviewed. Believe or not you guys/girls brighten my day. thx ;)  
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**And thanks to Jess and Peculiar top hat for the tips. They help a lot. ^ ^  
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**Sorry if this chapter is a bit lagged, boring or contrary, too fast paced, but there were some things I had to show before continuing with the plot. Oh and I forgot to mention on the last chapter, there will be some frequent cursing here and there commonly on Heart of Darkness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man, Hoshino does *bo-hoo* but I love D. Gray Man and Allen Walker way too much to care. wiiii~ :D  
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_**Chapter 2: Memories**_

A deep gray cloud covered a tiny white room with a furniture, a piano and a giant mirror on the wall. The cloud came from a room right beside it. One which was locked poorly. A young pale boy hummed a tune softly as some warm water splashed on his revealed muscles from the shower drain. It was morning and the big day.

Due to Allen's pain and confusion yesterday, even his bit of insanity, he agreed to the Earls offer of going onto a mission. Something he regretted dearly as soon as he woke up since really...this would be his very FIRST mission and seeing as the Earl offered himself and the other Noah if necessary did not cheer him up. That meant it would be something big. Something hard. Something that might -no- would harm and most probably even kill many people. But even tough he was ashamedly scared...there was another reason why he almost lost himself the other day and practically begged the Earl for a mission. Thing was...

Allen came out of the shower with a towel hiding his private parts and drops of water dripping from head to toe. Some more tick clouds came out evaporating on the 20 feet long corridor as he entered the room with the piano and shut the open door tight. He looked down to the gray floor.

" I'm tired of being here...I'm tired of this ark...of this training...of this same life..." Allen looked up like looking at an invincible light " The outside world...I just want to be free..even if its just for a moment...even if its just for a day"

Allen smirked glumly " A little fresh air won't do me harm right? "

"hahaha how lame of me" He started laughing. "Well...I just want to take a break from this room is all" He cheerfully declared

Allen carefully picked up his clothes from the closet, black pants with a long sleeved white shirt and sat on the sofa to put his clothes on. It was his favorite style so he had lots of clothing similar to this one. Quickly after dressing up Allen tilted his head toward the giant mirror on the wall which covered half of the top of the wall. There instead of seeing his reflection he saw a dark fat shadow with a huge demonic grin eternally stuck on to it. Something that didn't scared him in the least. After all he had seen this figure on the mirror since he first set foot in the ark 3 years ago. Allen didn't even know how he looked now. The shadow had never let him.

" Good morning Neah! " Allen bowed down politely as he usually did.

The shadow didn't respond as it never had. The only time Allen had heard him talk was the first time they had met 3 years ago. Allen closed his eyes. That was back when he had just arrived at the Ark...

**FLASHBACK**

_Allen tripped to the ground trembling. Him and Road had just arrived to play dress up. Road's own way to cheer him up after Mana's brutal death. Allen still shocked at what had occurred no more than 3 days ago nervously accepted, not caring the embarrassment he would go trough. Anything was fine. As long as it cleared his mind, even if momentarily of his unexplainable sadness and fear._

_But now his fear was more than before. Allen stared at the mirror shocked and emotionless. Not even tears rolled down. He could not explain the sudden fear that had overcome him but he was scared. Who was this staring down on him from the mirror? This young adult looking figure? Allen was no more than 12 years old, a child and short to top it off. So why was his reflection the shadow of an elderly man who looked in his 30's his reflection instead? Why was he grinning such a terrifying smile with those sharp teeth?_

_" W-who are you? " The boy struggled his best to ask. A small soft almost unheard of voice came from Allen's mouth instead _

_" Allen Walker, I am Neah, the 14th Noah..and you." The boy remained speechless under his very breath " Are mine to kill... " The figure laughed evilly, more terrifying than anything the boy had ever heard. Similar to that of a clowns.  
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_Allen cried and shouted in fear. He had no idea what was going on. Only that this huge shadow was his reflection, Mana had died, he himself had turned him into an Akuma, killed him, his ugly arm had evolved, he had a curse and the man who took him in, The Millennium Earl, was at fault for ruining his life as it was now. He hated this so called Noahs and feared them oh so dearly. _

_Allen suddenly felt a hit on his stomach. As everything got blurry he could only see the figure of Road who quickly placed him on top of a bed. She desperately looked at all directions and ran away from the room leaving him alone._

_" Earl! Help somethings wrong with Allen! " She shouted in despair. Soon everything went black along with the scary man who still laughed at the boy._

_The young boy opened his eyes slowly. Everything looked blurry as 8 gray figures stared down at him. The Millennium Earl, Road Kamelot, Tyki Mikk, a blond haired teen, a black haired teen beside the blond, a blond haired woman with sunglasses, a big man with candy in his mouth and an adult man with long hair who hugged Road tightly. At the time he did not know who all this Noah were. Heck he didn't even know there were more Noah besides him, The Millennium, Tyki Mikk and Road Kamelot but what he did know was that they had all ruined his life. And Allen being the child he was at the time and still shocked at all the sudden changes cried the most harsh words that had ever spat out from his mouth_

_" I hate you all... You ruined my life...I SWEAR to god I will kill you all! " He cried out with his eyes closed to then open his eyes and come across not mad but ashamed offended faces, as if he had killed somebody. Which only made Allen cry and fall to the ground asking for forgiveness._

_" I- I'm sorry...I didn't really meant those words. I'm so sorry. I'll never say them again.I'll continue to be polite forever " He cried out on the cold floor where nobody comforted him.  
_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

A small tear fell from his cheek down the cursed scar. He cleaned it quickly with his index finger. He hated those memories. They always reminded him of what he wanted to avoid the most. Hate...Fear...Pain...and Sadness...

Allen frowned a bit. How ironic. The one who he was afraid of the most at the time was now even more important than any other Noah had ever been to him. Even if after that he had never heard Neah talk again, something inside him wanted it to stay like that, but he had always been there for him. Allen had spent most of this 3 years alone on his room playing his piano while Neah just stared. Something that at first was scary but now was kinda nice. And those words Allen had said back then...they weren't exactly lies either...He still wanted to be an exorcist...and that red haired man...Allen knew clearly he still wished that instead of the Earl it would have been that man who...

" BOO! "

" F****! " Allen shouted out jumping on top of the sofa. His face was red. He was startled with both of his arms raised in defense.

" brouhaha! " Road waved her hands at Allen. She had just touched him on his back suddenly.

" What do you want? You know I don't like it when you spy on me Road, how did you even get here and what's up with that strange laugh! " Allen furiously punched Road on the face which made her fall to the ground.

Road puffed a bit and stomped her way to the sofa where Allen was sheltering behind of. She didn't seem too happy. Something Allen noticed but was too worried she had seen his crazy mirror stare to ask.

" Haaa... " she started. Allen just staring at her grumpily but a bit concerned.

" Well the Earl's worried sick bout you, you hadn't come up for breakfast" Road rubbed her head with one of her eyes closed and a faint smile.

Allen blinked " Oh sorry bout that, was kinda busy " was the most he could think of.

" And you let your door open while you were bathing and I hid behind the piano to surprise you after seeing you naked~ " She grinned hugely at him as she met eyes with him.

" WHAT!" Allen shouted really red.

" ahahaha! You are really cute! Even while you stare at the mirror like that! "

" Y-y-y-y-y YOU SAW ME NAKED? " Allen shouted in despair as he pointed his finger toward her

" It wasn't the first time"

" W-w-w-w-w " Before Allen could protest any further Road stood up from the sofa. She walked past the embarrassed Allen giggling and made her way trough the door. She looked back.

" Don't get to entertained with Neah now. " She driedly pointed out to him so only her and him could hear. Kinda soft which made it kinda charming. She turned her head facing the door.

" Oh... and breakfast is over already. Earl wants to see you right now. You can always eat at dinner. " She continued even more driedly than before. Allen dropped his jaw a bit.

" Well then see ya later hunger boy! " She punched the door.

'Wai-" *PA!* The door was closed and Road had disappeared from Allen's sight just as he had raised one of his arms to stop her.

" Haaa " Smoke came from Allen's head. " My breakfast! " he cried out pulling his hair.

Furious he had missed breakfast the boy quickly made his way trough the corridor to the Earls room. Its walls were white with some particles of black dust stuck on them and the floor wore a design of black and white checkers. There were no lights making it really dark and no other doors in the whole corridor except his room and the bathroom which were at the end of it. From afar at the opposite end of his room there were stairways. His room was basically the basement of the Ark. The most hidden room on the entire Ark.

He stood in front of The Millennium Earl's door feeling his nerves telling him to back off and hide already. Allen truly did not want to do this. This most probably wasn't what Mana would had wanted...Allen closed his eyes and put one of his hands on top of his heart and just sighed under his very own breath. He would just have to get this over with already.

Taking a deep breath Allen pushed the heavy door open. There he met the lone Earl rocking his chair while sewing something that seemed like a blanket.

" Good Morning Allen-chan! " The Earl gave a familiar wave with his hand

" Good Morning Earl " Allen replied gently bowing down politely.

" Ohohoho! Your manners are appreciated Allen. " The Earl joked

" He-he..Mana teached them to me... " Allen gently joked back looking at the wall trying not to meet the Earl's face

" Oh... " The Earl expressed kinda glumly.

" I-It's alright Earl! I already told you back then I forgive you for what happened! It was your job after all. " Allen raised both of his hands trying to comfort the Earl with his fake smile.

The Earl stared at the boy a bit surprised. Allen still faked not being bothered by his dear foster parent being turned into an Akuma by one of his siblings. Allen held his arms behind his back chuckling a bit with a sweat on his chick.

" What about breakfast? "

" I'm not very hungry today -"

" Liar "

" H-h-he he " He laughed nervously with more drops falling from the back of his head.

" No matter. Alright then Allen enough chit chat. This is what your first mission will be about. " The Earl suddenly broke the small controversial moment not really caring what they had just conversed about.

Allen's tiny fake smile falling into a fake serious determined face, doing his best to hide his fear. He nodded.

" Firstly, what do you expect out of this mission? " The Earl chuckled

" To finally understand the Noah way and overcome my annoying innocence. " Allen said pressing both of his hands into punches " Plus get out of the Ark for once. Being here 3 years sure has tired me! "

" Good...good " The Earl muttered to himself. " The kid's got confidence for once "

" Did you say something Earl? " Allen asked innocently from the other side of the room.

" No! Nothing! " Earl shouted playfully.

Damn no wonder they called him the musician. His ears always heard any small talk as long as it was on the same room. He looked back at the innocently smiling child.

" Alright then Allen I know this is your first mission and all but I have to be a little hard on you. " Allen just nodded tough deep down he was about to faint. The rest was silence as he heard his terrifying first mission.

" Allen Walker*ahem* Neah you are to be sent onto your first mission today, after dinner ,along with Road Kamelot and Tyki Mikk. Your goal is to successfully murder General Cross Marian by sinking his ship that leaves from China to Edo tonight ,as he is a threat to my plans and "

" A General? You want me to kill a freaking General on my first mission? Are you crazy! "

" Calm down Allen that's why Tyki and Road will be accompanying you " Earl stopped sewing and pressed both of his hands together.

" And who exactly is this Cross guy? " Allen asked a bit hesitant crossing both of his arms. The Earl widened his smile with pure evil itself not even caring if Allen noticed, which he did, and was freaking him out. But that question was the one the Earl was waiting for all this time.

-Well Allen..remember the red haired man I fought with shortly after Mana's death? - The Earl got up from his seat excitedly as he saw Allen's eyes widen.

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**Few oh my...this chapter was a pain in the ass to write! :O I had to show what Allen thought of the Noah's and his life in the ark a bit before he talked with the Earl since I wouldn't get any other chance to so...^ ^' it was necessary. But still it was a pain to fit it all in one chapter. XP**

**More tips please! I didn't feel as if this chapter were good enough.**

** I love it when you guys/girls review! thx**


	3. Submission

**Wow, thanks to Jess for the super long tip and to peculiar hat too. I appreciate it. It's kinda weird but I like long reviews. ^ ^' They help a lot in my growing as a writer. ^w^ And thanks to all the people who have reviewed and to all who who have put it on favorites or on alerts. thx to all. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man. Hoshino does. **

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_**Chapter 3: Submission**_

Allen stood shocked as he stood before the now up Earl. He did not know what to do. What to say. Not even what to think. Everything he had prepared for mentally had just shattered in a matter of seconds. Allen fell into the dip abyss of despair once more. Yes he wanted to do this mission. He truly from the heart wanted to be part of the Noah as an "official" as he called them. But even now, he could still not be honored enough to call himself an "official" Noah. He was just a foolish child who just had the CAPABILITY to be a Noah but he was NOT yet a Noah. Not physically, since he was still human. Not mentally, since he had yet to accept even a mere Akuma's existence, no nothing.

He had been foolish underestimating the Earl's plans. This was INDEED the Millennium Earl. The one and only. The true definition of evil to the world. He might even be the devil incarnated as we speak. But even then he was FAMILY. A brother and a friend. A devil and an enemy. Allen shacked and shacked but he did not fall to the ground. He knew not how he had not yet broken into tears and shouted. He knew not how he had just merely stood there paralyzed, with no movements or words to offer. Not even screams or shouts to give out.

But of all of this what most made him suffer was the foolish feeling of longing he had for the red haired man. Now that he finally knew his name Cross Marian, why oh why did he have this feelings for the Cross guy? The Earl was a father figure to him and even though he had indeed been cruel to Allen and done so many bad things to him Allen could do nothing but forgive him. Even if the Earl had killed his precious Mana, even though the Earl just loved him for the simple fact that he was a Noah, the Earl that had fooled him into joining the villains side, by just false kindness, he could still just not come to hate him.

Because the Earl...just as the Earl had made him suffer he had equally helped him, he had held Allen's hands just as he was about to give up on life, just as the last hope and glittering spark of life left Allen's very soul, the Earl held his hands and carried him towards his new life on the Ark. The Earl had loved him and welcomed him into his family- even tough he wielded this horrible innocent hands, even tough the Earl knew the hate and fear the boy held towards him and all the Noah's during all this years the Earl just simply didn't cared. To him he was still Allen Walker and nothing would ever change that. So Allen could not help but feel guilty at this tearful feeling of faintly loving, caring and longing he could not help but feel for the Cross guy. Cross had not ever done anything for him. He had never helped him or consoled him or hold him tight as he shed his tears. Heck they had only met once for mere brief seconds. He had done absolutely nothing, nothing but one lone thing. One little and tiny thing Allen automatically noticed as soon as he first laid eyes on him. A very tiny but blood freezing fact that had made Allen doubt his very existence since that very day.

The Earl gallantly rubbed his black tall hat. Dust puffed into the thin light smeared in darkness. The Earl viciously smirked, a dry crispy grin. He knew not if his plans would go as he figured. He knew not what in damns name ran through the dumb boys mind. But even so he could not help but be anxious. Oh so excited. Little Allen Walker~ How sweet and PLEASURABLE it was to just stare at this young boy's suffering. To witness as this innocent boy broke apart and fell to his knees in nothing but pure emptiness and sadness. To witness as this boy oh so very quickly lost his morals one by one. He was no far from shaming God's will himself. From being an embarrassment to the innocence name. Earl cared not how his face looked now or what slipped from his mouth. He laughed and laughed, louder by the second, but even so, not sufficient to reach the boy who on his knees was sucked into his little own inner world.

The boy who carried the name Allen Walker finally started to tremble. He finally felt as his legs slowly slipped down bringing the boy down to his knees. What Allen had questioned during all this year was, was - why just WHY did Cross did his best to take him away from the Earls arms. Why did he shouted not to listen to the Earl when the Earl kindly offered him a new promising life on an unknown place called the Ark. Why had this man fought to the death for him, Allen Walker, some cursed boy and tried to reach out his arms toward the him who slowly fainted on the earls arm entering some type of other worldly portal. Why was this man bleeding so profoundly and done his best to prevent things as they were now. Why had this man shed a tear and punched the ground just as the boy had fainted. And more importantly of all why had this man known his name? When Cross had shouted at Allen to not listen to the Earl he clearly heard slip from Cross's mouth the words Allen Walker.

It was all so confusing and mind blowing...

" Allen?, " He heard the squeaky voice of the fat man who clicked his fingers.

" Wo-hoo~ you there Allen? "

Allen blinked a bit. " Eh?, " He looked at all directions of the room. He saw the rocking chair, the table with a sewed blanket with pumpkin designs, and the dark blood thirsting room that just shouted horror. The Earl just stood there in front of him.

Allen raised his head a bit. There the Earl raised his hand forward, gesturing the boy to get up and kindly smiled the million dollar worth smile that always pulled Allen from his deep abyss of despair and brought him back onto his own two feet. Allen stood confused for a bit. He just spaciously stared at the Earl. He looked up at the Earls face, down to the Earls arms and back to the room repeatedly.

" Haaaa, " Allen hold grip of the Earls hands and normally stood up. He did not return the Earls smile back but instead breathed tight and let out another huge sigh once again.

" Everything alright lad? "

Allen just stared at him with tired fuzzy eyes.

" Yeah - was kinda surprised is all. "

" I expected as much. " The Earl raised both of his arms. " My oh my just what I am I supposed to do with you Allen. "

Allen stared curiously at the Earl.

" Its almost like - almost like..." The Earl battled to find words.

"Like what Earl? "

" Like you always get lost wherever you go. "

PLANK! A huge heavy rock hit Allen's head. Who was he the lost and found now?

Allen didn't bother say anything out of it as he quickly noticed the Earl turning back to his rocking chair.

" Haaaa. That's nice. " He sat on his chair.

" Well then Allen~po back to business~ " The Earl cheerfully sang.

Allen reacted at this words and shifted his gaze quickly towards the Earl.

The Earl stared quite astonished.

" So, is the mission too much for you or can you handle? "

Allen closed his eyes for a moment. For a moment there the Earl almost jumped out of his seat. It almost seemed as the boy would disappear into his inner thoughts once again. But was quickly proved wrong as he saw sparkling shy eyes that slipped from Allen's eyes.

" I - I'm not sure Earl... "

" And why is that Allen? " The Earl asked concerned.

Allen startled quickly looked at the ground. " I don't know "

" Is it perhaps too hard on you? "

Allen nodded trying to hide from the Earls presence. " Yeah but I do want to go "

The Earl smiled quite disappointed.

" I can always accompany you along with the rest of the Noah. " He joked.

Allen quickly realized what great of a disadvantage that would be for him.

" N-no Earl! It's ok with Road and Tyki alone! " Allen knew that no matter what he did Road and Tyki would always support him PLUS they were strong . Meaning that when he got his butt kicked they would save him luckily.

The Earl raised an eyebrow. " Hmmmm~ So first you say the mission is to hard but then you deny any backup? " He clearly raised his voice a bit suspicious.

" Wouldn't the logical thing to do is all of us Noah's go? You know to help you out on this hard mission. " The Earl seemed to put pressure on the room as it was getting hard to breath on Allen. " Why would you possibly not want others to go too ? "

Allen could feel his blood freeze.

" I, uhhh... " Allen looked to all parts of the room except the Earls eyes as he tried to find a reasonable explanation that was not related with him longing for Cross.

" WELL? " He calmly yet demanding asked Allen.

" I...I..." Suddenly a bright idea struck Allen. " I know this may sound stupid, but I already told you. I want to be a real part of the Noah. I want to prove the innocence that I can do better than it. "

" By proving your strength? "

Allen nodded. The Earl seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. " Allen are you stupid? This is not a game, your going against a F***** general. It's extremely easy for you to die in a situation such as this. I'm afraid even Tyki, you and Road might not be enough for this mission. "

" And who was the one to assign us on this mission to start with? And we'll manage Earl, no worries. " Allen shouted.

"O~hooo!' The Earl mocked " Normally I wouldn't possibly expose my family to dangers.

"" Yeah right. " Allen thought to himself.

"But this time it's different Allen. " The Earl gave out one of his trademarks smile while hiding his face in between his hands. " You have intrigued me Allen. "

Allen was quite paralyzed where he was. The Earl was extremely scary as soon as he showed his true nature. Especially his laugh.

" Very well then Allen. " He smirked. " I'll accept your offer. " Allen could not help but smile slightly.

" Now get the hell out and eat your precious dinner before you faint of hunger! " Earl shooed Allen away from the room.

* growl * " Ahhh! Food! With all this I almost forgot! " Allen ran toward the door. " Earl I'm sorry but my stomach comes first! " Allen shut the door tight closed.

The Earl continued his horrific laughter as another teen surfaced from a corner of the room's shadow. The teen wore a bandanna. He had a huge black eye on his forehead. His hair was spiky and short and his skin gray as that of a Noah's.

" Was that really alright Earl? You might regret this. "

" hahaha, Maybe Demon Eye Wisely. "

" On those conditions the chances are high for betrayal Earl~ You are such a moron! "

The Earl hit Wisely on the head. " I know that. "

" But you want to test the kids loyalty before anything! Awww how sweet!" Wisely finished the Earls sentence.

" Allen's been bothered all this years due to Cross. " The Earl picked the blanket and continued sewing. "If meeting him is what makes him happy then I'll approve of it. And if Cross dies all the better for me."

" He'll betray you Earl. It's not impossible. "

The Earl turned his head toward Wisely. He stared at him with passionate comprehensive eyes. A face that didn't suit him well taking in account the man who had just been laughing like a maniac right now was none other than him. " I trust him. "

" Huh? "

" His my brother, my son, so I trust him. I BELIEVE in him. " The Earl continued sewing.

" Strong words coming from a guy who had just been cherishing the kid's suffering. "

" That's jut my nature. "

" Oh! " The Earl suddenly remembered " How did you hide your presence from Allen, Wisely? His ears are almost inescapable! "

Wisely smiled softly and raised his index finger. " Easy Earl, his ears might be otherworldly but at his current level not even Allen can sense my presence. "

" So he is still a weakling. Oh dear just how will he survive? "

Wisely sighed. " Stupid Earl! Wait till you hear all that went trough his mind just now and then tell me if you still trust him. "

" Oh yes tell me. "

Allen had already left the Earls room and could not help but stare at the corridor spaciously and kinda doubtful. " haaaa, " Allen continued walking. " I know I said I could handle but still... "

Allen opened the door to the dinning room. There the Noah's were food fighting, the usual. Allen almost laughed as he saw Jasdero and David throw a turkey at Tyki's face.

" Oi-oi-oi, " Tyki cleaned his face from a tissue. " Just who do you think I am! " He jumped to the other side of the table grappling the twins feet. The twins shoot gravy at Tyki's face. Irritated Tyki picked both of the twins and threw them at a wall. They fought on a ball of smoke. A sweat drop fell Allen's head.

" Oh my nude boy! How did it go! " A girl suddenly ran towards him hugging him.

" NUDE BOY? " The boy turned red.

The twins and Tyki suddenly stopped fighting and looked toward Allen and Road.

" Nude boy? " The twins shouted.

" Ahem, " Tyki cleaned up his clothes trying to regain his gentleman look again. But his face kinda red. " So you and Allen were like that, huh? "

Lulu Bell who had been lost in her book coughed a bit. " Oh my. "

" As long as you don't shout much. " Skin grumbled as he devoured a plate of candies.

" Ahhh! No! No! No! It's not like that! Road shut up! " He pushed Road away from the hug.

"Oh~ and then he tells her to shut up~ " David whispered to Jasdero but purposely loud so the whole room could hear.

" He does he does! " Jasdero whispered to David equally as loud as he had done.

Both of the twins giggled.

" Tell us Allen did Road finally captured your heart? " The twins repeated in unison.

" ENOUGH! " Road shouted extremely furious and red. Allen was relived to see the girl would finally explain the misunderstanding.

"Allen and me love each other and there is no way in the world any teasing will change that! " She hugged Allen on the neck almost not letting him breath. She kissed him numerous times on his cheek, which made Allen want to die of embarrassment.

" WHA? " Allen was more red than anybody could imagine. " No Road that was not it! "

After things calmed down Allen sat on the table far from Road. Road blew a kiss to him from the other side. Allen on the other hand turned his face the other way.

Soon the maids entered and brought new bash of foods. He quickly started devouring his food as he could not resist his hunger any longer. He roamed his eyes across the table and noticed Tyki who picked a bell and rang it capturing everybody's attention.

" Family meeting! " He shouted.

" What? Without the Earl? " Lulu Bell asked.

" Calm down. Were just going to ask the boy some questions. "

" Heh? " Allen was quite shocked.

" What is it Tyki? I've already had enough with the Earl, really. "

Skin got up from his table. " And in blasts name are you going? " Tyki asked him pretty annoyed.

" I don't care bout this. I'm going to my room. " Skin shut the door tight.

Tyki joined his two arms together ignoring Skin's remark. " How did it go? "

" More or less. He said I would have to kill General Cross Marian on a ship or something, " Allen said casually.

PROCESSING - Road and Tyki remained wide mouthed.

" As your first mission boy?" Allen nodded.

"When?"

"After dinner."

" Today! "

" Yep. "

" Ehhh the Earl is crazy! Allen there is no way you can kill a General and less right now! " Road almost jumped on top of the table interrupting whatever Tyki was about to say.

Tyki looked at the clock in his arm. " Dinner is over in 10 minutes! Boy there is no way you would win that fight! The Earl's surely punishing you right now! "

" No, it's not like that cause Road and Tyki are coming along too, " Allen smiled innocently. " The Earl said so himself. "

Road and Tyki remained quiet again and looked at each other.

" Tyki did the Earl told you anything? "

" Nope. "

" Me neither... "

Tyki broke his glass making his arm bleed a bit. " Damn that Earl always doing as he pleases! " Tyki's eyes burned. The twins looked at his arms in fear.

" But never the less such a hard mission as your first should keep me entertained a little, " Tyki recovered his cool grinning and passing one of his hands through his hair.

**MEANWHILE IN CHINA**

A yellow glowing ball flashed trough a vast city full of markets and dark alleyways. A fat cat ran just behind it. Its sharp teeth glowing as saliva dripped from the cat's mouth. The yellow flashing light suddenly stopped on a dead end trees trunk and looking back almost as hope had ended pointed it's tail forward while trembling in fear. The cat was about to eat the yellow thing until suddenly-

" Timcampy I don't have time for this! " A deep male voice shouted in anger along with a bang scaring the cat away. He stared at the golem from under the tree. His right eye was hidden underneath a white opera mask. His red long hair and his small beard almost camouflaged itself as the wind flipped it through the vast autumn scenery. He wore a dark coat which held small pieces of yellow on some of its parts and held his hat tight with his left arm as it almost blew itself away. With his right arm he pointed a gun directly at the yellow thing.

Quickly he could feel the strange sensation of a tiny ball hitting his shoulder. He lowered his gun and stored the gun underneath his jacket's pocket, where his chest was.

" Let's get going. " He declared coldly at the now visible yellow figure. It was a tiny ball with a tail with a huge scary mouth with pointy teeth. It snuggled in between his clothes.

The man stood in front of a giant royal looking building. On the front there was a woman with huge muscles, bald and that looked like a man almost.

Leaving out a grunt she opened the door wide open not even caring to look at the man. The man quietly entered.

He sat on a soft red couch where an elegant woman with a kimono was sat on the floor. Her red kimono reached the floor along with her long black shining hair.

She could not help but smile a sweet sorrowful smile at the man. " The ships ready. " She looked down a bit with a faint almost invincible blush.

The man smiled at her back flirtatiously instead and poured some wine on a small glass. " Thanks for all your hard work Anita. "

" It was nothing really, Cross. " She picked the glass of red wine and sipped it a bit. " It's my duty as a supporter of the Black Order. "

Cross didn't say anything as he was gurgling down his wine. " Ba! " He set it down with his face kinda red.

The woman worriedly put her glass of wine down. " Just be careful, ok? " She sweetly but kinda forcibly told him, almost like an order.

Cross chuckled. " Oh don't worry bout me I'll be fine. "

" You sure do have a lot of confidence now don't you? " She muttered quite loudly.

Cross stared at her seriously. " Don't follow me Anita. " He got a bit closer to her and kissed her on her lips making her blush and quickly stood up.

" Ah! Were are you going! " Anita asked like if she would never see him again.

" To pack my stuff " The red haired man said indifferently and then quickly left the room.

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**O_O This chapter was composed mostly of conversations, it barely let me fit in any descriptions. Please review and comment.**

**Once again I don't feel like this chapter was good enough, tips if possible, thx.**


	4. At last

**Hey thx again to Jess and Peculiar Top Hat ! Don't worry I don't mind if you point my grammatical errors. If not I would never notice them lol. **

**I really appreciate it. Only thing that saddens me is that some way or another I always end up messing it up ^ ^' I've never been very good at grammatical stuff but I'm learning each day.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way. Katsura Hoshino does**.

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**_Chapter 4: At last  
_**

The sun hid behind the darkened orange sky. Soft whispers made the boy go numb. They came from the towns direction. A soft cold wind blew his white soft hair. He could not help but smile a sweet smile and close his eyes as shiny blue tear fell down his cheek. He hid them behind his white long sleeve. Road smiled while staring at Allen. She wondered what went trough the boys mind as his tears flowed down. Tyki felt quite disgusted at the boys dilemma. They stared down at the crispy old city surrounded by the orange scenery and orange leaves. They had arrived at China.

Tyki stared down at his poker cards, he had brought them to play with Allen for a bit. But instead of a play he was really irritated when the boy started crying as soon as he left the ark. One moment the Earl was waving goodbye, the other Allen was smiling glumly and the other he entered the portal and started crying as soon as he came out and saw China, which in fact he was still crying. He knew the boy hadn't seen the real world for some time but Tyki didn't really care. Yeah, sometimes the Noah genes gave Tyki the feelings of sadness and worry for his brother, but when the Noah genes didn't kick in, Tyki just sat back and enjoyed the show. Allen was very entertaining to watch on his moments, though he barely interrupted them . It was fun to just to see what the boy would come to do. But this time it was different. They didn't really have the time for this, Cross could be disappearing out of their site as they spoke, so Tyki was very irritated.

" Geez boy, it's not that big of a deal, it was just three years, let's get this over with ? " Tyki grumbled trying his best not to look at Allen as it irritated him further.

Allen smiled a cut-off soft laugh coming back to the world. " I'm sorry Tyki, " He sobbed. " I just missed this world is all. " He smiled innocently with tears still falling from his eyes.

Road gently placed her hands on Allen's shoulder. " As much as it pains me to say this, Tyki's right Allen. It's still just 5:00 pm but we already lost ten minutes thanks to you. "

Allen cleaned his tears. There were so many things crossing his mind that concerned him. So many things that crossed his mind as he knew this was the day he had feared the most. He knew sooner or later this day would arrive. He knew he would most probably become a murderer this very same day. He knew he would probably have to destroy an innocence that very same day and he knew he would have to aid and protect tortured Akuma's who only wished to die this very same day. All the things he did not want to do but never the less he was Noah. It was in his blood so whatever happened his own personal mission today was to accept the Noah's fate and ignore anything that bothered him, at least that is what he hoped for...

Allen placed his hand on top of Road's hand that caressed his shoulder. She flinched a bit. He looked down at the ground, his eyes hidden in between the shadows of his hair. He did his best to hide his face, as it was that of a person who was disappointed. Disappointed of himself, disappointed of others, disappointed of life as we speak. Road could feel his hand tremble, she pressed it tight and looked the other way, avoiding Allen's meet of the eyes. She spoke no words, and made no move. Tyki could clearly see Road's face, she bit her lips and looked down in remorse. She felt sorry for Allen. Even though she had always been there for him, in the bad and in the good, he just always had to find a way to distance himself from all the Noah's, including her - Something that the Noah's would just wish he would stop doing. They all loved him in their own strange way, but Allen just didn't seem to get the message. Though Road knew what bothered him was not them but instead his own self it still pained her to see him like this.

True, it was very hard for her to comprehend just what the heck went trough his mind, what was that this boy hid so much? Was it Neah? But they all already knew about Neah and nobody minded, yes he was scared to death the first time he saw Neah but that was 3 years ago! Now Neah was everything for Allen, even tough he didn't say it much. Maybe he was just not used to them ? Did he hate them of some sort? Did he hate her? True she had entered his dreams various times but it was always the same dream.

There Allen kneeled beside a lake of blood, chained to the ground. He was not on his teen body but on his child body, the one he had 3 years ago. He stared at Neah's reflection. A reflection which prohibited the boy from staring at himself, from knowing who he was. Even though all this flashed through her mind Road maintained a mask of seriousness. She just blindly stared at nothing. Tyki was quite creeped out at the two teens. He put his cards down and looked down at the two shorties.

" Ummm hello? The mission we don't have much time. "

They didn't respond or move. " Great, Road lost it." he joked to himself.

" Haaa, hey love birds! I know your having FUN touching each other and all but can't you do that later? we got a miss- " Allen tried to punch Tyki but Tyki stopped it with his fist already expecting it. Road smiled her trademark evil giggle as soon as she noticed.

Tyki sat on the ground, and patted the floor, gesturing them to sit. Road and Allen imitated him. He took out a box of cigarettes.

" Stop right there. " Allen raised his hand in stop motion. " Drop the cigarette. "

Tyki turned the cigarette on, smoked it and blew the smoke directly to Allen's face. " Let me say this clearly boy, F - * - * - * - YOU. F*** you! "

Allen clearly holding himself from tearing Tyki apart just crossed his arms. He got up and sat on a faraway rock, which didn't really matter since he would still be able to hear Tyki and Road talking clearly. " Don't get me wrong Tyki, I would had punched you right there and be killing you right now but we've got a mission to do. " Allen took out his tongue and pointed his middle finger toward Tyki.

Tyki smirked in victory and ignored him, " You wish. Alright then, this is how things will be, Road? "

" hihi yeah , yeah, " Road took out a piece of paper and placed it on the floor. Tyki explained.

" This is how we will do, firstly me and Road will hide in our white forms, Allen doesn't really have too since his Noah form has yet to awaken." Allen nodded.

Tyki sighed. " Allen , I bet the Earl made this mission sound impossible but really - I've got a way to make things easier. " Road and Allen were surprised at what he had just said but remained quiet as to hear his plan.

" It's really simple we wait for Cross to enter. As soon as he sets sail we'll invade his ship without his notice and as soon as the ship is far enough from the island me and Road will call level 3 Akuma's that are hidden on the sea to attack. Then we join in for the heck of it and have a hell of fun killing General Cross. " He grinned. " And that's pretty much it. "

Allen got up from the rock. " Well that's easy, what's so complex bout that? "

Tyki saw as Allen got up and sighed. " Sit down Allen, there's still more. "

Allen stared badly back at Tyki and sat back on the rock .

" Allen your cursed eye will react as soon as the Akuma arrive... " He whispered softly looking at the ground.

Allen looked down a bit. Softly as Tyki had spoken, Allen had still heard him. " I'll try to resist the pain. " He assured with his smile.

Road blinked for a bit. Each time Allen offered a smile was not good news. Even though the boy's reason for doing that was to assure them he was fine truth was it showed the Noah's the complete opposite. When Allen smiled his sweet innocent smile it meant the boy wanted to hide something, something that was bothering him. And as to not worry his family he offered them a smile. Now Road was as worried as ever. But she fained not noticing his little lies.

Tyki ignored the two and walked forward. He stared down at the big town that stood before them. He placed both of his arms in his pocket and closed his eyes. His skin quickly lost it's gray tone and was absorbed by his white form. His legs left the ground as he gave a high jump and made his way a top the buildings.

Allen blinked. Road giggled as her white form came out. " It's alright Allen, let's go. " Allen followed Road though he was quite resistant. He could feel his guiltiness and fear getting to him once again.

Allen jumped on the building's roof. He followed Tyki and Road who jumped much quicker than him. He had never actually done so before, making him a bit nervous, but the Earl had trained him back on the Ark already, so he knew a bit. Not to mention Neah gave him super human powers. Allen's heart bit faster by the second. They reached the port.

" Road come here for a sec, " Tyki gestured her. Road walked right beside Allen seriously not even looking at him. This made Allen's hair blow a bit. He just stared quietly, they both looked at him and then at themselves. He could hear their whispers. Curious at just what they were most probably saying about him he concentrated on just hearing them.

" Road I'm counting on you. " Road nodded. She was about to whisper something to Tyki until suddenly Allen felt his heart beat so hard that it hurt. Then slowly it started to beat faster and faster. He could feel his blood boiling and his throat drying. His arm felt the sudden rush of longing sensation. He was about to place his hand over his forehead wondering if it was a migraine again, till suddenly his whole body started to hurt. He fell to his knees trying to get his breath back, making him loose his grip and fall off the building roof.

As things got blurry he heard a pair of legs running toward him and a strong big arm that took a hold of him, not letting him fall to the ground. He felt as he was once again brought to the roof and placed on the cold bricks. They seemed to shout something and do gestures but he could not understand just what they were saying. Everything looked blurry and the pain was unbearable. Tears fell from his eyes and his head felt like if he were to explode, his heart felt like if it were to stop and his body unmovable.

" Neah please, " He gripped his shirt, close to where his heart was. He was breathing deeply and murmured unconsciously, enough so Road and Tyki could hear" Cross - If I don't - if I don't - " His eyes widened as though a sudden realization crossed his mind.

_" Cross - Cross is going to actually die. I'm going to see him for a few seconds and then he will die. The thing I've longed for so much is gonna die! " _Allen thought to himself this time.

Suddenly the pain started to fade away but also along with his consciousness. Shouts tried to keep him awake but failed . Allen reopened his eyes. His view was still fuzzy, all he could see was some red and black in front of him. It ricked of blood. The boy still a bit spacey tried to looked around but couldn't as chains tied him in a way he could only stare at the pond. His view finally cleared. He stared in horror at the pond. It held a reflection and in it was non other than Neah. Allen felt relieved at first, Neah would always comfort him with just his presence. Just as he was to relax he heard a soft whisper. "

" Thank you Allen. " Allen widened his eyes in deep horror. Had Neah just done what he thought he had done? Had he just talked?And why was he saying thanks? Allen was terrified of just hearing Neah's voice. He just wanted to faint. Suddenly like a flash of thunder he felt pain rushing into his body once again, but this time stronger. He could not help but shout in pain. He called for help but nothing appeared, nobody saved him.

" Let me out! Neah let me out now! " Allen still in his pain wanted nothing more but to get his body back. He knew Neah was controlling his real body right now. Allen could not bear the shameless feeling of being possessed by Neah. The thought disgusted him more than death itself. Somehow he could always feel Neah's feelings fused with his. And right now he could tell Neah - Neah was furious. He was not happy and smiling as he had always been. Right at this instant a strong feeling of hate disrupted Allen's thoughts. He could barely think. Allen shouted and shouted. He felt useless and weak. He cried and cried and had done his best to try to break the chains but nothing happened. He was trapped not even knowing if he were ever to come out. That thought itself made him feel fear even more than before.

What if Neah had broken about and was killing many innocent lives at this very moment?What if the one he hated was Cross? What if - What if Cross were to die before he could understand any of this? Allen shouted even louder as he felt his strength weakening and slowly disappearing and yet his pain worsening. The blood on the pond was none other than his own blood that gushed out from his body from deep cuts he had on his body.

" Damn it - Damn it! "

Road and Tyki noticed as Allen slowly opened his eyes. They sat beside him worriedly and obviously a bit shocked. Road had her arm on his forehead. It trembled. Tyki was staring at all directions as well as the boy's condition.

" Alle - " The boy removed Road's arm not gently but hitting it, almost breaking it before she released it quickly. This startled Road . Allen had removed her hands from him before but it was always gently not like he had just done.

" ? What's this boy? Are you alright? " He finished his sentence only to quickly stare in shock along with Road at the boy. He slowly and gently smirked a lifeless smile. His eyes cold and bloodshot but a bit closed . Noticing their presence the boy raised his head and stared at him serious and in boredom.

" A - Allen ? " Road asked Allen gripping his clothes. Allen pushed her back. Tyki still with his eyes widened just held his breath as only one thought crossed his thoughts.

" Neah... " His eyes widened even more when he felt a presence behind him. A tiny soft arm caressed his cheek. " Don't interfere." A tender soft voice whispered to Tyki's ear. " Tyki turned around. He raised his punch as to hit him but quickly noticed the boy was nowhere to be found.

' Road! " Tyki ran towards Road. Road just remained on the ground with her legs in front of her and her hands behind her helping her body up. Road could not help but loose herself in her thought. Allen was still on his white form, there wasn't even the slightest bit of stigmata on his forehead, so why? Why had Neah taken over just now? Why had Allen been mentioning that Cross guy?

' Road! " Tyki slapped her in the face. She regained consciousness and raised her arm to where Tyki had slapped her. " Tyki... " She pressed her hands on her face, " What's wrong with Allen? " Tears fell down. " Since when Neah - "

" I don't know Road but we'd better go find him before - "

" Cross finds him, eh? " A strange unknown voice was heard just beside them. They raised their head a bit. There, right beside them, stood a Noah they had never seen before. He had a huge eye hidden in between his spiky hair. His skin was gray and he looked really young, almost like a teen, he held Lero in between his arms.

" What are you doing with Lero! " Road almost jumped in anger.

" A Noah? I've never heard of you! " Tyki shouted a as the teen smiled mockingly.

**IN THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN**

Cross stood inside a red carriage. It was tiny and only held two seats in the back and one on the front for the man who conducted the horses. Cross seemed to be tickling Timcampy as he bounced up and down each time he touched him. He wore a serious bored face which heck he was. He seemed lost in his thoughts as suddenly he felt a hard bump making him fall out of his seat. Drops of blood splashed onto his face.

He cleaned his face with his finger. " Blood ? "

Quickly he picked his gun and stared in horror at the man who was driving. His head had been ripped apart. It splashed blood unstoppably. He saw as the horses got ripped apart by huge claws and fall to the ground bleeding. Right in front of the carriage stood a white haired boy. He hid his eyes in between his hair. He wore a white long sleeved shirt and black pants. His clothes were covered in blood. His left arm was that of huge claws bigger than his very body. Seeing it's green color he could tell it was none other than innocence. Cross could almost not breath for a second as he stared in awe.

_" Exorcist? Why's an exorcist ? No - it cant be his not even wearing black robes. "_ Cross thought to himself.

" Hey jerk! I don't know what's you reason or why you are killing at such a young age but whatever it is you should stop using that innocence of yours to kill innocent lives! " Cross shouted.

" Innocence ? Death? Innocent Lives? Do you actually think I care? " The boy laughed a cold dry laugh. He suddenly appeared in front of Cross and punched him. Cross hit a wall breaking it slightly. He pointed the gun at this white haired boy's forehead as he also appeared suddenly before the white haired boy.

" How about we make a deal kid. You can either come peacefully with me and join the Black Order as an exorcist or you can resist and get your butt kicked. How about it? "

The boy frowned in disgust. " As if... " He responded gently but with a glimpse of sorrow on his words.

" What a shame, " He shot a bullet but the boy just moved a bit to the right and dodged it. Cross jumped backwards and threw his hat into a corner. " Cause now I have to fight a useless fight and drag you there! "

Suddenly, just as the man was to shoot again, the wind blew the boy's hair that had his eyes hidden. Cross widened his eyes a bit. It couldn't be.

" Allen Walker... " Cross stared at the boy who's eyes were now visible. His eyes were lifeless and emotionless. His left eye had a red scar. It was dark and empty and numerous tears of blood fell from it. There was no doubting it, the scar revealed it all. A bang was heard in the distance.

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx!**


	5. Premonition

**Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual, didn't want to spoil to much stuff at the same time.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way but I love Allen Walker! :3  
**

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**_Chapter 5:Premonition_**

Tyki and Road stared in confusion at what seemed to be an eternal laugh from the unknown Noah. But not an evil laugh, but instead a cheerful playful laugh. Kinda familiar too. Lero seemed to tremble on the Noah's grasp.

" Ahahaha, the Earl is so going to kill me for this! " The Noah joked to himself, hiding his face behind his tiny hand.

" Shut up, Lero! " Lero scolded him.

Road and Tyki exchanged faces of confusion, really quickly, but then looking back at the Noah again.

" Earl? " Road asked softly trying not to raise her voice much in her confusion. " Were you sent here by the Earl? "

Tyki sighed " Is this one of Earl's pranks again? I mean Lero's with you. "

" No, no, no, no prank. " The man raised his arms in defense. " It's just as Road-chan says I was sent here by the one and only Millennium Earl~! "

Tyki gritted his teeth. He could care less about the Earl and this Noah right now. Though he didn't mind Allen's first hint of awakening, he did mind Neah going on a rampage, not because of the people but because it endangered Allen's life. And seeing as he mentioned Cross, he probably had gone directly to the general to kill him, though Tyki was faintly doubting the boy now. No matter, whatever Allen had gone to do with Cross his life was still in danger, and as much as it ashamed Tyki to admit, but he was worried for the boy. Worried the boy could die.

" I don't have time for this ! " Tyki appeared right beside the Noah trying to jump the building. The Noah could feel the wind that passed in the corner of his eyes. He jumped the building and took hold of Tyki's hand , barely.

" Wha? No don't go! Stay right here please!~ " The Noah cried out to him. Tyki looked back a bit unpleasant fainting to break free from the unknown Noah's arms. " Allen's going to be fine I think! And I already blew my cover so let me at least explain everything to ya Baka Tyki ! ~"

Tyki pulled the Noah's ear. " And just who the hell are you calling a baka? " The Noah flinched. " H- hey calm down ! Just hear me out for a sec. ~ " Tyki easily got out of the Noah's grasp. He got back on the building and looked at the Noah curiously. Road on the other hand had been calm during this whole time.

The Noah raised both of his hands sighing " Haaa~ You two sure are hard to control! Especially Baka Tyki. " Tyki hold himself from murdering the Noah.

Road looked at the Noah astonished. From head to toe she could see his dark Noah skin and the strange eye that was carved into his head. His bandanna seemed to half hide two more eyes that were by the sides and he had no stigmatas. His hair was pure white and he wore a white shirt that was a bit open on his chest with white pants. He was clearly a Noah and yet she had never seen or heard of him before. He had even just claimed the Earl had sent him. Why did he just appear right after Allen turned into Noah? And there was also the thing with what Allen had said

_" Neah please, Cross, If I don't - if I don't " _

The words had been resounding in her head for a while now. Just what was going on? What kind of mess did stupid Earl put them on this time? She wished she could just get up and run to wherever Allen was and suppress Neah, if even for a bit, but seeing as everything had happened it couldn't had possibly be by chance.

The Noah whistled, " Oh my god Road, congratulations I didn't know you would think so far ahead ! " He jumped up and down closing his eyes like celebrating. A soon as he opened them he saw a hand beside his cheek and then the huge pain that came after.

" Of course I can I'm the first child! " Road shouted pressing her arm into a punch trembling. The Noah twitched on the ground.

The Noah dropped Lero accidentally. " Ahhh! Wisely, lero! Road stop this! "

" Why are you taking sides with him Lero! You are so mean! " Road protested hitting Lero with her leg.

" Uaaaa! " Lero cried.

Suddenly Tyki raised his arm in front of Road. " ? Tyki ? What, what is it? "

" Look closely - and think for a sec... " Road looked at Tyki bored. She just stood there calmly and did as Tyki told her and looked at the Noah. She then widened her eyes. " No way... "

The Noah cleaned some bits of blood from his mouth as he easily got up. " Man~ Your harsh. Didn't you hear me the EARL sent me here. "

" Wisely shut up you big mouth, lero! "

Tyki lowered his hand onto his pocket" Seeing as I've been hearing Lero say Wisely so much, I'm guessing that's your name young man?"

Wisely nodded and bowed a bit. " Demon eyed Wisely actually. "

Tyki smirked. He took out his gloves and put them onto his hands. " Thought so. " Tyki tidied up his clothes and pushed the dust away. " So tell me - Wisely was it? How do you know our names? Why do you speak as though you know us ? Is it true the Earl sent you ? When did you awaken as a Noah ? And what do you have to do with Allen ? "

Tease began to float about around Tyki. " And you just answered to my thoughts... " Tyki disclosed. All that Wisely seemed to do was sigh at all Tyki said. " How tiresome Tyki~ " He murmured.

Road looked up at Tyki. Tyki was almost smirking and his arms shook a bit. " Oh boy, Tyki's getting exited..." She said almost mute. Just as that Tyki pushed Road a bit back with his shoulder. " Go check on Allen, I don't want the kid dying on us too fast" He whispered to her. Road nodded.

" TEASE! " Tyki jumped and made his way with tease toward Wisely. Wisely seeing Tyki attack threw himself to the floor evading Tyki's attack. He had a cut on his arm. " Oy-oy-oy! I'm not here to attack! I'm here to help! Help! Stop this!~ You meanies! "

Tyki smirked floating down with his tease, " Yeah I know and I don't care. Earls not here and you annoy the hell out of me, so we can play a bit you know. "

Just as Tyki said that Road quickly opened the door to her dream world but suddenly feelt as her body tensed up. Tyki could not move his body either and his Tease came back quickly to inside his arms.

" Yeah yeah I'll play with you a bit. " Wisely sighed. Tyki and Road felt as their bodies moved on their own and sat beside Wisely on the cold floor.

" This is your power isn't it? What about Allen? " Road shouted desperately.

Tyki on the other hand could not move his mouth. He tried to shout but couldn't.

" haaa, how troublesome, Allen's going to be fine. "

" Huh? " Road blinked.

" hehe well being Allen's first mission and all the Earl wanted to test his loyalty. "

Road could still not understand just what he was saying, " Loyalty ? " She thought.

" How are you so sure Allen's going to be ok? " Road asked clearly annoyed. Wisely looked the other way blushing a bit. " Ummm well the Earl said he trusted him so… "

" What! Just that! "

" Well if certain Noah's would had let me talked sooner! "

Wisely stared at Tyki. Suddenly Tyki could move. " Stop cursing Tyki. "

Tyki frowned. He sat beside Wisely and took his cigarette out. Something that angered Road a lot seeing he had not even bothered on finding Allen. He then glared at the Wisely who cowered a bit in fear with his glare. " See this cigarette? It's MINE and I'll smoke it as I please. " He stacked the cigarette onto his mouth. Wisely blinked.

" What exactly is your Noah power? " Tyki grumped to Wisely as he inhaled the cigarette.

" And what exactly does this mission have to do with Allen's loyalty ? Does it have to do with Cross. ? " Road continued.

Wisely just starred at Tyki and Road in pain. " Something like that. " He watched as million of thoughts crossed Road's mind which he ignored and as the Tyki indifferently smoked the cigarette. It almost seemed like if he were in a total other world, enjoying his cigarette time. One of the main reasons Tyki didn't like Allen's company. Wisely raised his hands toward his chin.

" How weird~ I could have sworn you were dead worried bout Allen just now. And in a couple of seconds your already enjoying that filthy cigarette not caring for the world? "

Tyki glared at Wisely but then seemed to calm down quickly. He threw the cigarette on the floor as he finished using it. " This must be the Earl's doing correct? So why bother? And you read minds correct? " He said glumly.

Wisely smiled seriously. " Not just minds I can also see your most inner thoughts. "

Tyki raised his view toward Wisely quickly. " So you know? "

Wisely stared at Tyki not in a serious way but with an innocent not caring way " Yep. "

Tyki poked Wisely's eyes on his forehead. " Ey! Stop that!~ "

**IN THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN**

Allen - no - Neah pressed his arm on his shoulder as bits of blood dripped from it. His once giggly face had now changed. He was not sad, he was not bored, he was not happy, he was furious. Though his mouth remained shut and his arm barely trembled as blood kept spurting out, the man clearly masked a face of anger, of hate, of pure evil itself. Gun powder came out from the Red haired man's gun. Cross just stood there quietly and shocked, as if making mental notes to himself.

It was definitely his duty to bring the child back to the Black Order as he held innocence but for it to be Allen Walker of all people... Cross lowered his gun and walked at the direction to where Allen had hid. The boy was surprisingly weak compared to how Cross had pictured him to be. He was no match to his judgment innocence and ever the less if he were to take Maria out.

The man just walked pass the rubble and stood in front of Allen not even bothering to point his gun. The boy stared a him with eyes overpowered of hate. Cross kneeled down toward him and hit him with his finger on the forehead. The boy flew and broke the houses wall hitting many other walls. Cross silently walked trough the holes the boy had left behind.

Neah stared at Cross angered and in fear. Why? Why was he so weak - no - why was Allen's body so weak ? He was a freaking Noah. And not just any Noah he was the 14th, the musician, so how come he was cowering in fear at the red haired man who walked toward him. He hated this man. More than anything could describe.

" Innocen- " he was about to shout until he felt a sudden rush of pain on his innocence arm. " Ahhhh! " Darn! How come he didn't notice sooner. He was Noah, obviously he wouldn't be able to use the innocence well. Just as he was screaming Cross appeared right in front of him and took hold of the boys neck. Neah did not know why but tears fell from his normal eye along with his cursed eye. But not normal tears but tears of blood.

" Allen - that must be Allen " Neah murmured to himself cursing. Suddenly he felt as Cross punched him on the stomach, making him puke blood out of his mouth. He felt as if the strength of the punch were to make him fly but the generals tight grip on his neck hold him so he wouldn't fly.

He threw Neah back at the ground and pinched him with his feet. " You asshole! " He repeatedly punched Neah with his feet. Neah could already feel his conscious slowly leave his body. No matter how much he wanted to fight he couldn't. Allen's body and strength was way to weak for him to use. Not in comparison with his power. He didn't want to be shamed any further by the damn man. Cross wasn't even using his innocence. He let out a sigh of breath barely breathing. Cross still just starred seriously at him and for some reason angered.

**ALLEN'S INNER WORLD**

Allen looked blurry at the blood covered floor, his own blood. He had grown tired of shouting in pain. He just remained silent as huge quantities of tears dripped from his eyes. Suddenly he felt the warm sensation of a hand caressing his face. He couldn't look up to see just who it was, but on the blood the reflection had disappeared. He could still not see his own reflection, but now he could not even see Neah's reflection either. Allen was paralyzed in shock. Where was Neah's reflection and who did the hand that caressed his face belong too? Somehow a deep deep fear and desperate feel flowed through his body. He could slightly see the color of the hand's skin. It was that of a gray Noah. The hand wore white sleeves but that was what at most he could see.

He suddenly heard a soft male voice singing something like a lullaby. It was the song Allen always played on the piano. The 14ths song. Allen could feel as all his pain finally evaporated from his body and as a huge sensation of peace and slumber hit him. He smiled for real and closed his eyes in the greatest peace he could ever feel. " Neah… " He whispered all too gently.

**BACK TO REAL WORLD**

Allen opened his eyes softly. Everything was blurry. He groaned a bit. His head hurt along with all of his body. He looked around and saw a white figure with red on it's head. The red man seemed to stare at something else. Just as things got clear again Allen's eye's widened. He felt confused and could not believe what was right at his very eyes. He stretched his arm forward. " What am I doing ? " Allen thought to himself.

" Cross... " he murmured taking hold of a tiny peace of the man's black coat. The red haired man heard a soft voice. He slowly looked down at the injured boy who blindly held his shirt. Both of their eye's met.

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	6. Hate?

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man, Hoshino Sensei does.  
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_**Chapter 6 : Hate?**_

Allen could not believe who was in front of him. He stood paralyzed and speechless. No words or thoughts could describe the mix of feelings he was going through. His arms trembled at the grasp of the man's coat. And his eyes could not stop staring deeply at the red haired man who just spaciously seemed to have just realized something of his own. Like a moment of eternity Allen's mind remained blank. What did just happened ? Was he not just now with Tyki and Road waiting for the Cross guy at the port ? Where were they ? Why was he in front of Cross ? Why was Cross beside him? Allen could not help but bite his lips and hold his tears back.

Memories flowed in of the very same man who years ago, with his opera mask did his best as to save the boy. The man who's long red hair danced in the wind. The man who's stained his clothes in blood at the Earl's grasp. The man who had shouted his name. The man who seemed to have the answer to it all. Was this really real ? Was this really him ? Allen touched Crosses cheek as his eyes trembled. He wanted to know if he was real. He was touching him. He was warm and soft. It was real, it was none other than General Cross Marian.

Allen barely felt the small laugh that marked his very face. A face of gladness as if he was unspeakably glad he had assured something he wanted to know since long ago. Cross placed his hand on top of Allen's. For a moment Allen could have sworn he saw the man stare at him in nothing but pure sadness. Sadness and relief.

" What is this ? " Allen thought for himself. " This is just like. "

Allen saw as the General's eyes got a bit wet. " Just like Mana... "

Suddenly the General looked the other way quickly. " Tsk! " He slapped Allen's hand, making him have to let go of his coat. Allen shook his head.

" I - I ?" Allen tried to speak up. "What am I saying? " Allen thought.

Cross got up and sat on the other side of the room. He ignored the boy, something that made the boy desperate as he wanted to hear him. They were inside what seemed like a broken inn. It's wall were cracked and everything was covered with dust. " Allen Walker... " He sighed glumly.

Allen flinched. He looked down and then looked back up again. " Do you remember me Cross ? " He said shy and in fear. " What am I doing ? What am I saying ? Stop it! His a General, I'm a Noah so - so... "

Cross stared at Allen seriously and chuckled. " Heh! How could I not ? " He took out his gun and started cleaning it with a tissue. Allen noticed slight blood on the gun but didn't think much about it.

" Your that Noah kid... " Allen widened his eyes at the word Noah. He could barely move his body and let alone breath. He held his huge urge to just blurt out all that he had regretted and longed for this whole three years. But he couldn't, cause deep down he was still a Noah. He loved his family. He could not deny it. And just seating on the same room as Cross made him slightly sick as well as incomprehensibly warm. How could he be at the same room of this man and yet not kill him ? How could he be so foolishly spaced out? The man who the Earl had commanded to kill was right before his eyes. All he had to do was kill him and be an ' official ' Noah. But, but -

Allen smirked a bit, just what was he doing. What about his family ? He loved them. They were everything to him, they did all they could for him for the past three years, while meanwhile this man was absolutely nothing to him. Nothing but a mere wish, so why... ? Why was he feeling a mix of happiness and guilt ? Was he guilty of his very own feelings ?

Allen suddenly felt extremely sick at a huge disgusting gut feeling that hit him . Wait, was he, Allen Walker, backstabbing his very own family by not attacking Cross ? After all they had done for him THIS is how he repaid them. By just dozing off and talking with the guy ? He couldn't right ? He couldn't possibly choose that path! But there were still so many things he needed to clarify. That's right he was just clarifying his existence. Allen felt the raw irony feeling of betrayal and blood on his mouth. He felt cold and alone.

If only he could just hear how much this man hated him. If only he could hear how this man did not care about him. If only that he could finally - Allen thought for a bit. He couldn't quite put why but he felt that if only he assured himself that Cross hated him. If only he assured himself that Cross was faking his feelings. If only he found a way to convince himself that all that the man had done for him was not love but hate, that then and only then he would be able to kill Cross. That's right after hearing the words of hate from this man his longing would disappear. He had to get rid of his longing and become an "official" Noah. Just as he had told the Earl. He had to find a way to make Cross spit out the cold truth of his hate.

Cross cleaned his gun until he looked up and saw as Allen stared at him in horror. " Cross, do you hate me ? " The man didn't even flinched at the question, he just sighed and looked the other way. Allen hold his wet eyes from dripping more tears. Why did he felt like this ? He finally found Cross. The one and only. The one he had been searching for so much. The one he had been longing for. So why oh why ? Allen gripped his punches and quickly muted his ears with his arms. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. He didn't want to hear. Wait why didn't he want to hear ? What scared him so much ? Allen stared at the man who just quietly and quite rebellious looked the other way, just not looking at him, this made Allen's chest hurt. How had he been able to hold his urge to hug the man so much ? How had he yet not ran toward him and cry his eyes out ?

Suddenly something hit Allen. He opened his eyes and stared again at the man who got up and stared at the window, totally ignoring Allen's existence. Allen's head suddenly started to hurt. He widened his eyes. Tears dripped from them. The tears he had been holding so much had now fallen and dripped onto the floor. Suddenly he could feel the dusty room change into a white room.

" Allen! " A female voice sweetly whispered to his ear. She hugged him while wearing a short white dress. Allen stared at the girl with spiky blue hair who's eyes could not be revealed. He could tell it was Road, yet her eyes could not be seen. An aura of mystery roamed her. She held his hands as he sat on the cold floor, injured and crying.

" Road ? " He murmured.

The girl smiled an innocent smile. " Allen... " She giggled and slowly started to walk back.

'" Ah! " Allen held onto her hand tighter, as to not let her go.

She pressed her index fingers onto his lips and then onto hers. " Goodbye. " She whispered as a small tears of blood fell down her cheek and as a drop of blood fell down her mouth. Then her figure burned before his eyes. She didn't shout, nor react.

" Road! " He shouted trying to move but could not." What ? What's going on ? Road! "

She giggled and waved at him. " G - b - ye " The words cut. Soon her figure was turned into dust.

Allen remained speechless. " No, no, no, no, no, no, no " He breathed heavily scratching the floor. His body finally moved.

Soon he felt as somebody placed his hands on his shoulders. Allen did not even dare to look up. But did so anyway as to see Tyki Mikk. His eyes were hidden underneath his hat. He smiled and patted the boys head.

Allen raised his hand towards his mouth. " T - Tyki ? W - wha ? "

Tyki smiled and seemed to say something. Allen could not hear just what he was saying. Tyki was moving his mouth and yet Allen could not hear him. For some odd reason Allen could not read his lips either.

" W - wha ? ; a - are you saying Ty - " He gasped as he saw the man lower his hat and bow slightly. His eyes were still unseen.

" I don't get this! Just what ? what ? " Allen murmured while breathing even more heavily.

Allen blinked quickly and soon noticed Tyki was nowhere to be found. " H- huh? "

Allen then stared at the distance. He saw as three people walked toward him. At first he could not tell who they were. And though his body told him to run his mind told him the contrary. His mind told him to stay. Stay and watch. He soon saw as the three figures evaporated. Allen just dazed at this, his mind kept him calm. Somehow he could feel calm and had no reason in the world to fear this figures. He soon blinked and opened them seeing the three figures circling around him. He recognized the three automatically and roamed his eyes as to see them all.

He looked to the left " Mana... " he looked to the right, " Cross... " and he looked up front, " Earl... " Allen felt as the three of them raised their hands forward to him. Allen stared at the hands without words. The Earl stared at him with his huge grin, Mana giggled innocently and Cross remained dead serious.

Allen widened his eyes. " W - what do you want from me ? W- what is it ? " He stared at all of the hands.

" Guys, I only have two - " Allen noticed he only had one arm, his innocence hand. Allen stood unmoved.

He gritted his teeth and punched the floor. " WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? "

He hid his face with his arm and hair. " I have only one arm, my innocence. "

He looked up at the three. " I can only choose one but all of you... "

" I TRUST you Allen. " He heard the Earl's loud evil smile.

Allen pressed his arms on his head. " That's right. I - the reason I'm here is... "

" Allen! Allen! " He heard a voice calling out to him. " Snap out of it! "

Allen looked up. " Eh ? Who is it ? Who is calling me ? What ? Huh ? "

Suddenly Allen felt as someone slapped his face. Allen saw as all the figures disappeared into dust and in front of him stood the red haired man agitated. As soon as he saw Allen open his eyes he threw Allen aside. He murmured stuff to himself while holding his chin with his hand as he stared at a black ball, stuff like cursing.

" Komui there's some stupid kid here with an Innocence! "

" Who's a stupid kid? " Allen snapped.

" Cross! What the hell? We haven't heard of you in years!" Allen flinched at the word years. " Huh ? "

" Shut up! "

The golem remained silent for a moment. " I'm guessing this is something serious, you have never even once called for recruiting exorcist's...in fact you have never even called at all! "

" Wha - " Allen was about to say something but was interrupted by Cross as he was hit by a rock on the head.

" Got a problem with that ? " Allen saw as Cross sat on the floor and took out a wine bottle. It read Romanee Conti. He drank it like nothing.

"What's up with the stupid kid then ? "The golem asked.

" Could you please stop calling me like that! " Allen clarified while shouting.

Cross ignored Allen. " Well he carries Innocence so it would be logical to retrieve him but... "

" But ? "

Cross looked at the boy sadly and sighed. " Naa, It's nothing. His just mentally unstable. "

Komui remained silent. " Right ~ So what is it really ? "

Cross broke the black goblin, threw the wine bottle to a corner of the room and suddenly approached Allen.

" What the hell ? who are you calling mentally unstable ! " This might have been the man that caused Allen so many insecurities but God how annoying he was! Stupid kid ? Mentally unstable ? Bullshit! How dare he!

Cross could see Allen's angry eyes once again, except this ones weren't the Noah's eyes, this were purely Allen's eyes as they were mixed eyes with caring and hate. Just earlier Allen had been possessed by his Noah and killed a human along with two horses. He didn't know the boy all too well, but he could figure the boy would not be able to handle the reality that he killed somebody and laugh at it. He didn't seem to remember anything about it, meaning he had been completely possessed by the Noah then.

Cross kneeled in front of the boy and patted his head. Allen tried to crawl back but stopped halfway as he heard words that would make him loose his self . " You asked if I hated you earlier... " Cross started trying to maintain a serious face, but a tender grin escaped from him instead.

" Stupid apprentice how could I? " Cross brought Allen into a warm gentle hug. Allen remained paralyzed. Apprentice ? Did he just heard what he thought he heard ? Did Cross just called him his apprentice ? Even though they had only met twice ? Could it be ? No it can't be -

" Do you know were the Ark is Allen ? It is in Edo; You were sent here to kill me weren't you ? " Allen widened his eyes. No way, no way, this can't be.

" So by now you should know why I was heading to Edo, right ? " Allen felt as if all sound had stopped and as his breath had been taken away. It is. It was just as he thought.

" Y - you were. For me... " Allen's voice trembled.

" Yes, Allen. " He whispered softly and paused for a bit." During this whole three years... "

" No, don't say it. " Allen whispered.

" I... "

" Don't say it. "

" I had been searching... "

" Shut up! "

" For you and only you. "

Allen felt as though a spear had hit his heart. " SHUT UP! "

He didn't know why but soft tears fell from his eyes. Even though he had told Cross to shut up his body did the contrary and hugged Cross back. He hid his face on his coat, not crying silently, but sobbing as sound came back. Allen didn't know why but he couldn't control his tears or the warm feeling he had just now. He cried out loud like a child. Loud like a child who had been lost and finally found his home.

Cross did his best to hold himself but he could also feel tears flow down from his eyes. " I'm sorry Allen, but since the first time I saw you, even if the Earl took you away, you have always been my stupid apprentice. "

Cross caressed Allen's hair. " It was my duty as a master to retrieve you. "

Allen didn't know why but even though all the things he dreamed of were real. Right now he had all that he had ever wanted. But the reality was he was not crying of happiness. For him this could have been the biggest punishment he could ever have. Why? Why? Why? Why? OH WHY! The Earl must have known this from the start! Now things would be harder on him.

" Why... " Allen softly whispered at Crosses grasp.

Allen could barely speak the words. " Why does it have to be this way Cross! "Allen shouted as Cross could feel great pain on his back. He jumped back from the hug and breathed deeply.

" What ? What's the meaning of this Allen ? " Cross asked Allen dumbfounded. Allen's huge innocence arm hit the ground as he cried. He had cut Crosses back with his innocence.

Allen struggled with his words." I'm sorry Cross, but it's just as you said. I was sent here by the Earl to kill you! " Allen stopped talking for a bit and tried to clean his tears with his normal arm.

" What are you talking about Allen ? " Cross was in shock. Was the boy meaning what he said ?

" Contrary to you, I came with the sole and only thought to kill you. To break you in half and murder you as the puny human you are! "

Cross still remained paralyzed in shock. " Who is it ? It's Neah right ? Neah! "

Allen didn't smirked as Cross would had expected. He could tell Allen's eyes were filled with emptiness, lies, sadness and guilt. No way, no freaking way. It was hard on him to believe but this was not Neah, No part of it was Neah. It was completely and totally Allen who had spoken those words.

" You don't actually want to do this do you Allen ? You don't have to obey the Earl! There's nothing wrong with you being a Noah! We can always fix that later! " Cross shouted trying to stay up.

" I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ; But Cross since the start my goal was to kill you. To kill you no matter what happened. To move on no matter what. To walk forward till I reached my last breath. This is my decision and... " Allen fell to his knees. " I made a promise... "

Cross could still not come to believe what he was hearing. It all seemed like a sick lie. The Allen he saw years ago would never blurt out the word kill so easily, he would never speak such twisted foolish words. He was almost sounding like the Earl and Mana who were completely and utterly crazy.

Allen finally seemed to control his sobs. He got up and looked at Cross seriously. " I'm sorry Cross, you will forever be my one and only master, but no matter how I may look like, it had never been in my options to join you. "

Allen walked forward in front of Cross who had lost his balance, both for the deep cuts on his back and for the huge shock that hit him. " I am NOAH and I will not now, not ever and never till the day I die! - " Allen pointed his claws at Crosses throat.

" Be able to stand the thought of betraying my family, myself, my beliefs or my father! "

Cross looked up at him truly deeply disappointed and breathless. He expected so much more of Allen. The young white haired boy had broken.

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.**

**PS : ( Recent tips were hard as hell to understand. :P )  
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	7. Insanity

**Sorry this chapter is my shortest one yet but I had BORING math school work to do and barely got any time to write. I SUCK at math. :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way.**

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_**Chapter 7: Insanity**_

Cross could feel his fragile throat being faintly poked by Allen's huge claw. He stared in disbelief at the young white haired teen. The young teen stared down at him with dead eyes. Eyes of that of a hopeless person, but even still, eyes with an obvious glimpse of sadness. A glimpse of sadness that ate the boy away. Sadness that was mixed with in with emptiness and eyes that called out for help. Just as before the boy did not smile nor did he frown. He kept his mouth unmoving just keeping his mouth serious.

Cross, even though he had always been well in hiding his emotions and at throwing stuff important to him away could still not come to accept all of this. He could just not come to believe Allen Walker, that small innocent child who cried on Mana's grave. The young child that smiled all too innocently at Mana's side was now lying to himself, spitting foolish words of wanting to kill him. Was THIS actually, truly 100% Allen Walker? Was this really him? Would he be capable of such things? He did not find reason or motive on just how the boy got comfortable to say such words. Just one. Could the boy possibly be just confused? Confused at what he should do toward his love over him?

Somehow, even though he had only met Allen once Cross knew. He knew Allen was still an innocent young soul. He didn't know how but he could feel it. Feel nothing but a strange feeling that this boy was not meant to destroy. Not born to kill. That this was not even what he wanted. Even though the boy pointed a claw at his throat and emanated the dirty scent of blood, deep down, on that young fragile body, Cross could clearly see it, Allen Walker, the boy who loved all life and would do anything to save others. Somehow Cross knew Allen longed for him, somehow he knew all that but even so, even if he knew it, he could not understand how he could feel it. Was it perhaps because - because those were his feelings and at staring at this boy's eyes and every reaction could he perhaps...

" It's almost like a reflection; Allen I see you and it's almost like I am seeing myself. I had always searched for you. I had always felt a connection between you and me. But I could not quite put it. But somehow I knew you searched for me too, just as I searched for you. Tch! Why do I get all emotional for a kid? I don't even know him, but still! Why am I - " Cross held his hand on top of his face. He didn't even bother on taking Allen's claws out of his throat. " Why so am I crying? "

Cross saw a bit blurry due to his tears but he could feel on his throat, trembling. Allen's hands were trembling. Crosses thoughts soon broke as the boy lowered his claw toward Crosses chest.

Cross widened his eyes. " A - Allen ?

Allen scratched Crosses chest. Cross held his chest shouting in pain. It wasn't a big scratch so it didn't hurt him much but the sudden cut made him react on a scream. Cross blinked a bit in confusion, why didn't he dodge that? He was a general so why was he permitting the boy to injure him? Cross suddenly felt cold drops of water fall to his face. He saw as tears fell down the boys cheek. The boy pressed both of his hands into punches.

" Cross why? " An extremely angered voice filled with agony escaped the boys mouth. " WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME! "

Cross held his breath. He could now see the blood shot eyes of the boy. Cross didn't say anything. He was speechless and had absolutely no words to offer.

" Why, why, why, WHY? " The boy shouted as he repeatedly clawed Cross on his chest. " Why Cross did you have to search for me? Why Cross did you have to feel for me? Why Cross - why - why do you - do you"

Allen gripped his hair. His eyes widened. Cross saw as Allen seemed to murmur something to himself. Something that was clearly hearable and brought Cross to further shock. " Why do you lie to me? Master - no - Cross - no - father - no- wha, huh? ah - "

Allen held his urge to shout and break into tears. He held his arms, almost like trying to hide from the cold. He trembled and gritted his teeth repeatedly.

" Why do I feel this way? Even though all I wanted was to see him, even though all I wanted was to ask, why has it come to this? I wanted him to hate me but no he just had to love me! He just had to! Why? "

Allen looked everywhere as if searching for something. " Earl? Tyki? Road? Where are you all? Where are you all when I need you! Where are you when I need you the most! I want to -! What do I want? Where are you to help me! - "

Allen suddenly widened his eyes. " That's it, the answer has already slipped from my mouth, hahaha..." Allen stopped trembling and stopped holding onto his shoulders and looked down empty. His smile dropped. " It's because things didn't go as I planned them. If only things had gone as I planned them to, if only master had done as I wanted him too... "

Cross stared in a deep unawakable horror at the young white haired teen .He held his own arms, almost like tying them up, almost like stopping himself from killing Cross. But even so he contradicted his actions by speaking words of pure confusion. Cross had clearly heard every single thing Allen had basically shouted just now. Everything had been clearly hearable.

Cross suddenly widened his eyes. That smile Allen had done just now, that weird speech, his strange habit to contradict himself, Cross widened his mouth a bit as he put all the pieces together. What seemed as impossible just earlier he could now understand. He could now understand everything. Cross could almost feel as a deep deep regret hit him. The boy, the teen, the Noah, though it was sad and painful a cruel reality had suddenly hit. His apprentice had followed the Earls ways. Allen Walker had been driven to the pitiful pits of insanity.

His mind had been poisoned by the Noah's twisted morals. Just what in god damn's name happened in the ark? What did the Earl do to drive a fifteen year old toward insanity! Cross punched the floor in anger. This had all been his fault, if only he had arrived sooner at the time. If only he had arrived just mere minutes earlier at Mana's grave, if only he had paid better attention, right now none of this would have happened. The boy would had instead be an exorcist and be the Allen Walker he knew - no - the Allen Walker he had always dreamed of.

Allen could feel his face being scratched as a gun bullet passed just by it. He slowly looked toward his back, where Cross was, and saw the red haired man pulling his gun directly toward Allen. His gaze shifted into that of angers. The red haired man stood perfectly. His injuries didn't seem to affect him anymore.

" You say I hate you? You think I'm lying when I say I don't hate you? For real? You actually think that?" Cross chuckled. Allen stared at him angrily.

" Well then my STUPID apprentice, explain this to me then? " Cross quickly ran toward Allen. " If I don't care for you then how come I wasted three years of my life finding you! "

Allen widened his eyes. " Fast! " He could suddenly a gun shot and a bullet that headed his way. Allen tried to dodge it with his Innocence and closed his eyes.

Allen could soon feel his arm being shot countless of times along with an intense pain that accompanied. Allen fell to the cold ground and spit out blood. He touched to the area where his arm was injured but blood fell instead.

" Tell me Allen why did I do that? " Cross quickly gripped Allen's normal arm. He raised Allen. " Just why do you think I wasted so much time searching for a moron like you! "

" Wake up you asshole! " He punched Allen's face with his gun on the face countless of times. Allen saw everything on his view double. Cross breathed deeply. Allen on the other hand battled to keep himself awake.

" Your my apprentice, my shameful son! "

Allen chuckled. " F - father? ha! D - don't make me laugh! " Allen fought to move his broken lips. " My one and only father is Mana, my one and only savior is the Earl and you are nothing more than my so called master... "

Allen raised his face looking at Cross. Cross suddenly widened his eyes as he stared down at the gentle innocent smile that marked the boys face. The smile Cross knew him for. The face Allen wore was that of a faint smile, eyes closed and an aura of deep deep sorrow.

" I'm such an idiot, aren't I Master? "

" Heck yes you are!" Cross shouted.

Allen chuckled a bit. " Haha, is that so? "

Tears fell down Allen's face. " Ne, ne did you know Cross? " Allen scratched Crosses face with his short fingernails." I went trough a lot this whole three years " He lowered his arms toward Crosses neck. " So much happened, so much pain, so much suffering and so much sadness... " Allen stared at him glumly. " So much tears dropped and trough it all... " Allen pressed Crosses neck. " Trough everything, every single little thing, all I wanted and thought about..."

Cross quickly threw Allen on the floor making Allen loose his grip on Crosses neck.

Allen caught his breath back and stared at Crosses legs. "All I ever wished for was nothing more but to run away and be with you... " Cross was paralyzed.

More tears fell from Allen's eyes " But by time my hate started to fade... "

Memories of all the Noah's cheerful faces crossed his mind, Road, Tyki, David, Jasdero, Lulu, Skin, Cyril, Earl " And I began to appreciate what I had..."

Cross looked the other way and sat just beside Allen as the boy quickly lost lots of blood. " My family..." Suddenly Allen coughed lots and lots of blood from his mouth.

" Don't speak " Cross forced him seriously. " Cross broke his jacket and put it on Allen's bullet holes on his arm and chest. He picked Allen up. " I'll take you to a nearby hospital. " Allen was about to shout that he didn't want to go with him but instead coughed up blood again. He could not speak anymore. His view was fading.

" I understand Allen, you came to love the Noah family so much, I became nothing more than a dream. You wished for me so much that by the time you actually came to see me you knew not what to do and hate overcame you. ' Cross sighed. " So right now I am no more than just a hindrance that disturbs your life toward becoming a Noah..." Cross looked down the boy had fainted. " What a load of bullshit. "

" Allen your innocent soul contradicts your being. Deep down you WANT to be a Noah; And sadly it's not just your Noah's genes fault but at the same time you don't actually want to kill me, do you?" Cross was shocked to see a lone tear fall the boys eye.

Cross jumped through buildings. He looked down at Allen who was half awake.

Allen suddenly started to whine while hiding his eyes with his arms. " I didn't want to. I didn't want to kill Cross. But I wanted to be by my family's side..."

Cross suddenly leaned down at Allen curiously and confused. " Hey Allen why is it that you are so conflicted with having to kill me? You CAN'T kill me. You are way to weak, I mean look at you. So why didn't you just fake a fight and then loose? "

Allen frowned and whispered " I thought about it but I can't really do that. "

Cross stared really confused at Allen. " And why not? "

Allen raised his finger toward his mouth. " The Earl is watching..."

Cross widened his eyes and looked at all directions. " Since when? "

Allen fell unconscious again.

They arrived at the hospital quickly. The doctors took Allen to emergency on a flash. Cross looked quite saddened at Allen's fragile body on the hospital bed. Cross sat on the floor in front of Allen's hospital room.

Cross gave out a long sigh. Suddenly his sigh was almost cut off as he heard a familiar voice laughing faintly. His blood froze. He raised his view toward the corner of the hospital corridor.

He glared angrily at a fat short man. He wore clown clothes and his skin was gray as coal. His unmistakable smile eternally marked his demonic face. The man stared from afar at Cross with his black sunglasses.

" Millennium Earl... " Cross almost laughed.

The man smirked his deep evil smile in response. " Kombawa~ General Cross Marian~! "

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.  
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**( PS: Yeah making an account would help so much Jess. Thanks for tips by the way. )**

**Really super duper sorry this chapter was rushed but I didn't want to keep the pace too slow and continue with the plot. Did that affect much? If it did please tell me if it did. Are the characters coming out of character? It has seriously bothered me a lot and it would be really nice if somebody pointed me out that error. :(  
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	8. End of Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don not own D. Gray Man in any way.**

**PS : I got the name of this chapter from chapter 54 of the manga Vinland Saga written by Makoto Yukimura. I don't know if chapter names go on disclaimers too but just in case. ^ ^**

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_**Chapter 8: End of Prologue**_

Wisely and Tyki enjoyed a game a poker. Road on the other hand remained with her body unmovable. Millions of thoughts crossed her mind. From cursing Wisely and Tyki, to cursing her powerlessness, to wondering how Allen was.

" DAMN YOU GUYS! ALLEN! ALLEN! " Road was not crying or struggling. She had long grown tired of struggling. But she was extremely angry.

She shouted Allen's name as to try to remind them that Allen existed and that the boy was in serious danger. Tyki and Wisely had barely spoken since Tyki poked Wisely's eye. They heard every single thing Road shouted but were to distracted on their own mind conversation, completely leaving Road out of it. They ignored her and continued their poker game in boredom, not really caring what she said. Wisely even turned his mind reading from Road as to ignore her.

" DON'T YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ALLEN! "

" Not really. " Tyki spit out.

" Nope " Wisely said sighing.

" Haaa... " Road sighed. She had struggled for almost a whole hour. And yet all they did was ignore her. Wasn't the Noah genes supposed to make them worry for Allen too? But then again Earl's order were way stronger than the Noah genes. And right now the Earl's orders were not to intervene on whatever Allen was doing. Probably fighting with Cross.

" Shut up! " They both said in unison.

" You ~ I am SO going to kill you two when I finally move! "

Wisely looked at Road. He took his tongue out. Road's vain almost popped in anger.

Wisely suddenly put the cards down.

Tyki looked up at Wisely and at the cards confused. " Huh? You tired kid? "

Road saw as Wisely got up. " Wisely? "

He raised his arm and touched the huge eye on his forehead with his arm. Dark Matter covered it similar to that of a small flame. He whispered soft words to himself. Road tried to figure out just what he was saying but just couldn't get it. Suddenly Wisely came back to were Road and Tyki were. Tyki was just annoyed the game had been disturbed.

He exchanged faces with both Tyki and Road. He was surprised they had remained silent. Road was anxious to hear just what Wisely had to say. She knew he had been talking to the Earl just now, Tyki could also tell so he remained silent as well.

" Ahem. " Wisely started.

He raised both of his arms and smiled innocently. " Uh, don't kill me but yeah, uh~ "

" Spill it! " Road exploded impatiently.

Wisely frowned. " Alright! Alright! Ok thing is - don't kill me - "

" Just say it already! " Tyki threw the cards at Wisely's face. Even he was getting impatient. Seeing how nervous Wisely was, he could tell the news weren't good.

" Oh it's nothing just that Allen lost! "

" WHAT! " Road shouted angrily.

Tyki hit the floor. " I knew something like this would happen!"

" What are you angry about? You totally had the freedom to save him Tyki~ " Wisely rolled his eyes.

Tyki picked his cards up and put them onto his pocket. " Well yeah, but the Earl would had punished me if I went! ; I could tell as much. "

Wisely clapped. " Bravo Ty - "

" SHUT UP! " Tyki interrupted him. Wisely glared at him angrily. Tyki gladly returned the gesture back.

On the other hand Road stared blankly at the floor. She was mad, so mad, she would had tried killing Wisely AND Tyki at the spot if her body weren't controlled by Wisely. She was sad, confused and extremely worried. She knew he would loose but it was the EARL'S orders to stay put. Both her, Tyki and all the Noah's knew how scary and horrible the Earl's punishments were at a disobedience. The Earl was even more scary when his plans were ruined by Noah's. Another reason why Road didn't struggle on getting released much and why Tyki didn't ran toward Allen.

Road barely breathed. " Allen's alive right? I can still feel his presence. " She said not happy but in sorrow.

Wisely nodded. " Yeah. "

Road sighed. She calmed down a bit. " That's fine but if he lost then - " She cut the words herself. Wait how could she have been so stupid up until now. Allen's presence had been fainting slowly by the moment. Then was Cross torturing him or something right now?

Wisely looked at Road annoyed. " Man Road, your slow! ; Of course his dying! "

Wisely noticed as Tyki eyed him suspiciously. He didn't seem to be buying the story. " There's more to it, isn't there? "

Wisely sighed. " Kinda. Remember Allen got possessed by Neah? Well yeah he went towards Cross, got his butt kicked, woke up as Allen. For some odd reason Cross didn't kill him. Our little Allen almost joined forces with him but still fought with him anyway, Cross kicked his butt AGAIN and then Cross took him to some hospital. And now Earl's with Cross. Earl seemed pretty angry too. I wonder why~ "

Road and Tyki remained speechless. Betrayal? Allen? What? Impossible! They had suspected it but for him to actually try it was shocking. To had proven it in real life was different than having thought of it!

A tear fell from Road's eye. " Damn it! He did it again! "

She closed her eyes. " He still hates us! "

Tyki pressed his arms into punches. " Stupid Earl! Stupid Allen! Damn Cross! Wisely just what the hell it the Earl planning! "

Wisely raised his elbows in an I don't know gesture.

" LIAR! " Tyki shout out at him.

Road suddenly started to sob loudly. Suddenly she felt as her arms could move towards her face. She could finally feel movement on her whole body. She didn't even bother on running towards Allen. Earl's orders were absolute.

" Baka Allen! " she sobbed.

Suddenly Tyki, Wisely and Road looked up. They stared as an army of Akuma quickly came from the ocean, towards the small town. It was almost night. Suddenly they saw as a a woman with long black haire arrived along with a tall bald woman and some men. They stared at the Noah's in horror.

Wisely smirked. Tyki as well. Road stretched her muscles and cleaned her sobs.

Wisely blinked. " I don't know what's up but the Earl has clearly told me to eliminate ANY nuisance. "

Wisely sighed. " What a pain~ "

Road and Tyki were a bit glad. At last would they be able to do something.

Road looked up at Tyki and Wisely. " We should take Crosses ship out to see. "

Tyki and Wisely nodded.

**AT THE HOSPITAL**

Cross quickly got up from his sitting position and called out to Maria. He pointed judgment towards he Earl. Earl just kept staring at him with his annoying smile. Cross not even bothering on saying anything to the Earl began to shoot bullets with his gun. Bullets that the Earl evaded easily. Suddenly the Earl appeared before Cross and took hold of his arm.

" Calm down Exorcist, I'm not here to fight you. " He said with a twisted innocent voice.

" Yeah right! " Cross shot Earl on the head, soon Cross noticed it was just an illusion as soon as he felt Earl's presence on his back.

" Now, now Cross, didn't I tell you. - " He pressed Crosses shoulders. " I'M NOT HERE TO FIGHT. "

The injuries Allen had left on Cross had temporarily weakened Cross. But they had long healed a little thanks that they weren't too deep. Cross was a strong man after all. Earl knew this so he took slight advantage out of it.

" Tsk! " Cross removed Earl from his shoulders. He jumped toward the other side of the corridor.

" Are you here for Allen? "

Earl chuckled. " Ohohoho, of course! ~ "

He grinned and evil demonic smirk. More than usual. " He OBEYD after all! "

Cross was about to use Maria's power but stopped. Suddenly he felt his backs cut and the scratches on his chest sting like crazy. He fell to his knees. He breathed heavily holding his chest. He could see his clothes getting wet in blood and as everything got blurry. He felt a flash of pain pass threw his head quickly raising his other arm towards his mouth, hiding the dripping blood that he puked.

" Sh - shit! Why now! " Cross battled to speack up as he searched fro breath.

He looked up and saw as the Earl was nowhere to be found. The door toward Allen's room was open. He heard as the men inside shouted in horror, as body fells and as blood splashed out. For a moment the thought of loosing Allen again paralyzed him in a cold terror.

" No, NO! not again! I can't let Allen be taken away again! ; Not after I finally - "

Cross quickly stood up from the floor. Blood dripping violently from his injuries. He ran toward the door with his innocence ignoring the pain. He called out for Maria. Maria sang her song. He took out his gun and started shooting randomly, not even focusing on what, his vision was extremely blurry. Suddenly he heard as someone laughed. Wasn't Maria taking effect?

His vision cleared a bit as he saw the fat crazy man sat just beside Allen on the bed. He stared coldly at the boy who was lost inside his dreams. Cross couldn't quite understand how, but a shield covered Allen and the Earl. One that prevented any innocence powers as well as anything from passing by.

" Damn you Earl! " He shoot more violently. Cross felt a pain on his head and body again. He couldn't hold his urge to puke blood again. He was loosing blood violently. He had been foolish in letting Allen injure him earlier. Now he could even loose him again!

Earl stared in boredom at the red haired man that foolishly did his best to pass trough the shield. He would had left him and play around a bit if they had met normally. But now wasn't the time for playing. Earl though he wasn't expressing it much looked down at the injured boy in sadness.

He caressed Allen's hair. " Are you ok now Allen? " He caressed his hair with tenderness.

The Earl leaned down and hugged the sleeping Allen. " Was this enough to make you happy? "

A tear fell down the Earls face. He was confused himself. Allen was in the verge of betrayal, of sweet betrayal. A betrayal that for a moment made him, the Earl, paralyze in nothing but fear. Fear over loosing him and a deep anger toward the boy. For a moment there the Earl completely had to hold his urge to kill the boy, as betrayal was unacceptable. But that didn't matter now as the Earl soon noticed just how much Allen valued his family. Yes, Allen choose him, he choose the Noah over Cross, so he didn't have to worry anymore.

He was glad he had done so but the Earl could still tell clearly. After all Earl had went through with Allen, after so many years, deep down, the boy still wished to return with Cross. He was faintly disappointed but at the same time proud Allen had at least chosen him over Cross. Even if it was only out of fear.

_" I didn't want to. I didn't want to kill Cross. But I wanted to be by my family's side..." _

Allen's words resounded in the Earl's head. Yes he had indeed seen everything. He had stood from afar looking the whole time. From the eyes of an Akuma who had hidden it's presence from Allen's cursed eye.

Earl passionately caressed Allen's neck, making Cross shout in anger. Earl looked up at Cross in amusement. He smiled as he scratched Allen's neck faintly. He loved this . Loved to see the red haired man suffer. Loved to see this filthy human battle trough all his strength and yet gain nothing. Nothing out of it. See as the great Cross slowly realized his own powerlessness. To laugh at the man who almost ruined everything was too pleasurable to stand. He truly hated the man who had made his lovely Allen stand on the chains of betrayal, plus, Allen he had to be PUNISHED.

" Damn it! Damn it! Leave him alone! " Cross shouted , his strength fading by the second.

Suddenly the Earl sticked his finger on Allen's cursed eye. Cross stared in horror as the Earl ripped Allen's left eye out and as blood gushed out.

Allen screamed in pain opening his right eye for a moment. He didn't know what was going on but his eye hurt way too much. He looked up in horror at the Earl who held his eyeball. " E- Earl ? "

The Earl smiled glumly. " It's all right Allen, many Akumas will come this way. The pain would be worse if you still had it. "

" H - Huh? " Allen felt as the Earl placed his warm hand on his forehead. Suddenly the warm feeling was exchanged toward deep pain. Allen shouted in pain. He didn't even have time to think, his head, his eye, his innocence, his body, the confusion, it all hurt too much. The last he could see was the nostalgic voice of the red haired man calling out his name. The other last thing he saw was the Earl's cursed smile spitting the contradictory words, " I'm sorry. "

A tear fell from the boys eyes. He raised his arms a bit toward Cross. " Cross, save me!" He shouted enough so Cross and the Earl could hear.

Tears fell from Crosses eyes half glad but mostly in pain. This few years were not in vain. It was worth it. Definitely worth it. The Earl on the other hnad burned not of sadness but in anger.

For a moment everything was silence. Allen's shouts disappeared. Cross remained in shock. " A - Allen? Allen! ? "

Earl raised his head and stared back at Cross. " Calm down Cross, Allen is still alive. " The shield cracked a bit.

Earl chuckled. " How nice at least you cracked the shield a bit. ~ "

Cross pressed his fists. " What did you do to him? "

Earl glared back at him emotionless. " Nothing. I just relieved his pain a bit. "

The shield broke and the Earl picked Allen's body and threw it out at the window. The Earl gritted his teeth so madly in anger blood dripped from his mouth. Cross heard the strong noise of the body fall into the ground.

Cross was about to shout again, till he felt a wave of dizziness hit him. He had definitely lost too much blood. He could barely breath or think. He looked up at the Earl. The Earl stood just beside him. He picked Cross up by the neck. He glared at Cross with the eyes of the devil himself. Cross would had normally battled with the Earl easily but the cuts had affected him too much. The Earl grinned in horror.

Cross widened his eyes as the Ark's portal opened behind the Earl. The Earl slowly walked towards the ark with Cross on his grasp.

" No, Allen! "

" Don't worry about him, he will be FINE. ~ "

Cross saw as the ark's door soon closed. He was shocked. Tears did not fall as he was way too shocked and dumfounded. Just what exactly was the Earl up to? Was Allen even still alive? No, he must be. He must be!

Cross stared at a white city. It looked pure and yet filled with malicious and sadness. It was empty. Earl had said nothing to him as he was humming some sort of song but still Cross could tell, he was on the ark. So this was were Allen had spent his days? THIS is were Allen suffered for so much years. Where the moron of the Earl had locked him up for years.

Cross bit his blood covered lips. " W - why are we at the ark? " He battled to speak.

Earl stopped humming the song and pressed Crosses neck even more. Cross battled for breath. " It's simple Cross... " He spoke softly and creepily enough calmly.

Earl opened one of the houses doors. " The ark is not our destination. " He laughed evily.

Cross got angry even more as he saw them enter a ship. A ship at sea. There Road, Tyki and Wisely almost jumped up as they saw the Earl appear suddenly from the main door.

' W- wha? What the hell Earl! " Road threw Lero at the Earl's face.

" Ahhh! Lero! " Lero fell from the Earl's face toward the ground.

Tyki blinked a bit. " What about Allen? "

Cross snapped in disgust at hearing the Noah's speak Allen's name.

" His alright. I already saved him. I did! I did! ~ " The Earl laughed jumping up and down, still holding Cross on his grasp.

Road didn't believe those words fully but she knew she could trust the Earl. Kinda. She looked suddenly at the man who she just noticed Earl was holding. She looked at his bloodied body, for a moment she could have sworn he would say something, but the Earls strong grip on his neck didn't let him. She looked at his long red hair, his opera mask and at his disgusting exorcist clothes. The innocence he held was unbearable. She hated it. She hated every thing of this man. From his innocence, to his appearance, to his influence on Allen.

" Is that Cross? " Tyki said smirking excitedly. He was still excited of the recent killing spree they had enjoyed just now. Earl nodded. He threw Cross to the ground. Cross started to spit blood. Earl raised his view toward Wisely who had ran to hid in a corner as soon as he saw the Earl. He smiled at him.

" Come out Wisely! ~ "

Wisely came out timidly. " Uh - uh. - "

Earls smile widened, he took his sunglasses off. " We will have some fun later right? "

"Tsk! " Wisely looked the other way seriously.

" RIGHT? " The Earl repeated again still with his marked widened smile.

Wisely gritted his teeth. " Yes... "

Road made punches with her arms. They trembled." Why is Cross here? "

Her gaze shifted into widened eyes of anger. " Why is he not dead! "

Earl chuckled, not softly, but loudly. " Calm down children, Cross is a gift from me to you. "

Cross flinched at this words. He wished to speack but couldn't as the Earl had broken his vocal cords.

The Earl picked Lero from the ground and flew up to the sky toward Edo. " Enjoy your new toy! "

He glared at Wisely. " Come Wisely! "

Wisely saw as the door toward the Ark opened in front of him. He smiled back at Road and Tyki childly before leaving. " See ya around! " He was about to enter until he heard the Earl calling him to stop suddenly.

" Huh? " he looked up at the Earl.

" Check Crosses thought's and memories before entering. " Wisely nodded.

A black eye similar to Wisely's appeared on Crosses head. Wisely kneeled down toward him quietly. Road and Tyki sat quite bored on a chair eating some candy they had found at the kitchen of the ship. They looked at the city that was being destroyed by the Akuma. After a long while, hours actually, Wisely stood up from Crosses side. The black eye on his forehead disappeared and Cross was left almost unconscious. He couldn't even move his body anymore.

Wisely looked up at Tyki and Road before finally entering the Ark. He smiled mockingly. " Don't overdo it guys. " He entered and soon the entrance toward the Ark closed.

Cross blurrily saw as Road and Tyki's legs stood beside him.

_" Allen, are you allright? Was seeing me... enough...? "_

The Earl continued humming his song from earlier flying in the sky. He grinned as he saw from afar, the ship, Crosses ship, sinking onto the deep sea. He saw as two figures flew toward his direction.

**SOMEWHERE...**

_" What's this? It's warm. So warm? Cross... "_

A white haired teen felt as light fell onto his view. He grunted a bit as he felt immense pain hit his entire body. He opened his eyes slowly. Everything was blurry but he could see a figure he had never seen before sat beside him. The figure slowly cleared better into view. Allen got up from the soft warm bed, and pressed his cursed eye quickly as he felt a sharp pain hit him.

" Easy there! " He felt as warm hands held him on his shoulders. He looked up dizzily, slowly toward the figure at the chair. There, right beside him, stood a Chinese man. His hair was a blue color. His hair reached his shoulders. His eyes were black, his skin was white, he wore glasses and some type of white chinese clothes. He looked to be like in his twenties.

" Are you ok? " The man smiled at him concerned.

Allen looked up at him dazedly.

" What's your name? " The man continued. " I don't know if you've heard of me, but my name is Komui, Komui Lee. "

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible.**


	9. Tears

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man :**

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_**Chapter 9: Tears**_

Allen stared not in happiness, not in sadness and not in confusion at the blue haired man. In fact he stared at him with no emotions at all. He didn't know who this man was. He could care less who he was. But he still stared at him. What was going on anyway? Why was this man staring at him in concern? Why was his body hurting? Where was he?

Komui's small smile dropped into that of a serious one.

_" Naa, It's nothing. His just mentally unstable. "_

Cross's words resounded over and over on Komui's head. He couldn't quite put why. But somehow nothing made sense. Why had Cross called to tell the Black Order of the kid? Why did the golem break? Was the reason of Cross's years without contact to the Order due to this boy? Why did the boy had white hair? And why was he cursed? And just what was he hiding? What did Cross meant by mentally unstable?

Komui suddenly flinched as he saw the emotionless eyes of the boy suddenly brighten.

Allen looked up at Komui and then down toward his bandaged arms and ribs. He looked back up toward Komui.

" Ko - Komui? " He asked a bit shaky. He could barely raise his voice. His throat hurt.

" Yep that's my name! " He smiled cheerfully.

Allen blinked. " Komui, huh... "

Suddenly Komui could see as the boy's eyes widened and as his face quickly turned into that of a terrified child. Allen's soft gaze was soon replaced with the boy's eyes that stared down at him in horror.

_" So he finally analyzed the situation... "_

" Cross! " The boy finally shouted.

" Huh? Cross? " Komui blinked a bit surprised at how straightforward the kid had been.

He gripped the mans shirt. " Where's Cross! "

Komui stood quiet for a moment. Allen could see as for a moment the man's eyes were completely filled with sorrow and an extreme sadness.

" Tsk! " Komui looked the other way with pained eyes.

Allen almost felt as he were to fall to the ground as he barely breathed. And as though time had stopped and just staring at the man paralyzed was a challenge.

" W - why do you do that? ; Why don't you answer! " Allen demanded.

Allen pushed the man from his seat. The man did not fall as he quickly regained his composure by holding himself on the wall.

He saw the boy press his hands onto fists. " You were the one talking to Cross on the black thing right! Where is Cross! Where is my Master! "

Komui widened his eyes slightly. _" Master? "_

He raised his finger toward Allen. " You really are the stupid kid! " He smiled mockingly.

Allen grunted. " I AM NOT STUPID! "

" Yep, yep, your reaction was just like the boy who shouted at Cross from the golem! You are the stupid kid! "

" Stop changing the topic! "

Allen raised his hand as to punch him but soon felt as another hand took hold of it. Allen looked up angrily at a young teen with deep red hair. One of his eyes were covered in a black eye patch and the other one that was visible was a deep green. A green bandanna held his red hair up. He wore a long green scarf that reached the ground and a black coat similar to that Cross wore. Except his coat was shorter and he wore white pants and black boots. His huge grin was unmarkable.

" Whoa there new boy! " The teen widened his smile even more. He closed his eye. " You'd better be careful there! You don't want us to loose our trust on you now do you! "

The red haired teen saw as the white haired boy looked up at him in pure anger. He seemed to be desperate to remove the fist but didn't seem to have the strength to do so. The white haired teen gritted his teeth and slapped the red haired teen's hand away.

Allen raised his arm toward his face. He seemed palid. Somehow both the new man and the new teen could tell the boy had just realized something. Something that made him afraid. Something that didn't put him at ease.

" W - what the - huh? - That coat - " Allen battled to say. They realization had hit him.

_" Whoa there new boy! "_ Allen's eyes widened as he remembered those words. The black coat. the words of new boy. This Komui something guy not responding toward him asking of Cross. Allen widened his eyes even more. THE MISSING NOAHS. THE MISSING EARL.

" No, no, no, no " Allen raised both of his hands towards his head. He felt as though his deep breathing and the beating of his heart were all that's left. He could barely feel the pain but still he felt as a wave of dizziness and disgust hit him. No it couldn't be! It couldn't be! why!

" No - ah - you - you! "

Komui and the teen exchanged concerned faces. The red haired teen touched Allen's forehead. " Are you ok? Shouldn't you rest a bit more? "

" Don't touch me!" Allen slapped his hand again.

Allen raised his hand towards his heart trying to contain his feelings of fainting. " Exorcists... " Allen finally blurted out making both of the men flinch. " Your exorcists from the black order aren't you? "

Lavi blinked. " You know us? "

Allen's mouth widened slightly. His eyes widened to that of a person who had heard something impossible. Something incomprehensible. Something all to great to fit in words and yet all too horrible too express in a go. Exorcists, they were exorcists. Exorcists where standing right before him. This was not a dream. It was real. They were made of flesh and blood and him a Noah - wait Noah? That's right he was a Noah! He hadn't heard much of the exorcists from Earl only that they carried horrible innocence and that they where his enemies. But other than that he barely knew anything. Other than Cross he had never seen any other exorcist. So to him this was almost - NO - It WAS a dream come true. The thing he had wished for so much was just before him. Didn't he wanted to go with Cross to BE an exorcist?

Allen knew not why but he felt a small tear fall down his cheek. The red haired teen seemed as though he would say something but the Komui guy put his arm on the teens shoulder. Komui shook his head. The teen went to stand beside the door a bit irritated.

Allen felt as though a dark cloud had disappeared. He slowly raised his head as to look forward. He didn't notice, but a grin full of pure happiness escaped his lips. But somehow even though he felt at peace, something felt wrong. It was the disgusting feeling he had always hated. The gut feeling. The feeling of guilt. Of Betrayal. Of Confusion. The feeling of having lost something. Something precious to him. Allen raised his left arm and touched his cursed eye. It was empty. Soon his face turned into that of horror again. He remembered the events before he fainted, what the Earl had done to him. Allen cleaned his tears with his sleeves as they fell.

Allen had soon realized something. He remembered the Earl had thrown him out of the window. How much it hurt to bleed on the ground. Why just why did the Earl do that!

Allen's tears stopped as he noticed the two men stared at him in concern. Allen didn't know why but he offered a faint smile as to ashure them he was fine.

The Earl what had the Earl done? What had he done to him? Had the betrayal been too much? Where was Road! Where was Tyki! Where were the twins! Where was Skin! Where was Lulu! Where was Cyril! Where was Cross! Where was, where was his family! Had the Earl thrown him away Eliminated him as a Noah?

Allen's sadness soon began to shift into anger mixed with sadness. He removed his hand from his cursed eye and fainted to be calm. He looked up at Komui who just seemed to observe his every movement.

" Did something happen to Cross? " Allen asked calmly but in a rush almost making Komui pull back a bit from him.

Allen then looked at the red haired teen in hope. " He will get better right? " In a way Allen didn't want to hear the answer but at the same time he did. The silence was just killing him.

Both of the men remained silent.

Allen grumped. " Fine, I'll look for him myself! " Allen tried to get up from the bed.

Komui held Allen. " No you can't! Your still injured! "

" STOP! " They soon heard a female voice shout from the door. Allen looked up toward the door. There, stood a Chinese girl. Her hair was a deep green hair tied into two long ponytails. She also wore a dark coat. It was a jacket with a short skirt and black boots. She carried two cups of coffee. She stared at the boy angry for a bit but then soon smiled politely.

" You won't find him. Cross is missing at the moment. "

" W - what? " Allen asked dumbfounded.

"Lenalee! " Lavi scolded her.

She looked up toward the red haired teen seriously. " There's no reason in hiding it Lavi. "

Komui took the cup of coffee. " It's all right we've already sent some Exorcists to search for him. "

Allen stood shocked. Truly shocked. Cross, his master, was missing. But most importantly, knowing the Earl and remembering the last scenes he saw. Allen closed his eyes gently. It hurt him to say it, it truly did but most probably Cross was - Allen gritted his teeth and punched the bed startling the exorcists.

" Damn you! Damn you Earl! " He shouted, voice trembling. Clear anger and unbelief on his voice. " Why? - Why do you have to do this to me? Why! ; Why do you take everything away from me! "

He was about to continue muttering until he remembered something. The exorcists were in the same room. They had just heard him. He looked up to see the exorcists who had truly concerned faces. They seemed surprised as well and a bit fearful.

Allen looked at them in sorrow. He soon took a deep breath.

_" Calm down Allen! Calm down! I'm still not sure of what's going on but one thing I do know is that I definitely must not let the exorcists know I am a Noah! " _Allen hands shook. He could barely control himself. He knew it. This would be one of those moments he totally lost himself. Cross! Cross! No - this couldn't be happening!

Damn it! His master, what had the Earl done! Damn himself! How could he had cursed the Earl just now? What - what to do! He should be cursing himself!

Allen didn't even bother in smiling. Showing his disturbed and disgusted face he raised a finger pointing toward the door.

" Leave me alone... " He muttered softly holding his tears.

" Wha? " Komui protested.

" LEAVE ME ALONE! " Allen raised his voice clearly shouting in anger and despair. His voice came out cut out and dry.

The exorcists exchanged concerned faces but nodded anyways.

" It's just for a moment, I just, I just - I need to think ok? " Allen said holding himself from shouting and hiding his face with his sleeve.

Lenalee kneeled down to him. " Ok, we will be right in front of your door. Call us if you need anything. "

She offered the other cup of coffee. She smiled. " Coffee? "

Allen shook his head slowly. " No thank you... "

Lavi sighed. " You still haven't told us your name you know? "

" Allen Walker... " Allen said almost unhearable and a bit irritated.

" Let's go guys." Komui said softly and a bit in a hurry as to give the boy some privacy.

Finally after what seemed eternity to Allen they closed the door. As soon as the closed the door Allen could quickly feel as tears fell down his eyes. He raised his arms towards his cheeks. What? What was this? Why was he crying? Did he not believe in the strength of his master? Did he not believe in him? He couldn't possibly be dead! Then again what possibly did he know about Cross? The Earl was the most powerful being Allen could ever meet. He could just not come to imagine anybody or anything beating THE Earl. He just couldn't. It was impossible.

The Earl faked his strength as to seem weak but Allen knew better than that. He had seen the Earl when he got serious in times the other Noah's totally messed up the mission. And it was not pretty. Earl could be kind and gentle but at times he turned into pure evil itself. Earl's tortures were so horrible he could never come to describe them to anybody. The things he had seen the Earl do to the other Noah's was just too horrible. His tortures could maybe come to be called hell itself. It was a miracle the Noah's still maintained their sanity. Even if the other Noah's acted tough all of them, including himself, feared the Earl. Feared him in an unimaginable way but at the same time loved him. It was obvious that if the Noah genes weren't there, each and every one of the Noah's would hate the Earl. Even Lulu feared the Earl. So Allen didn't even have to bother...Cross was DEAD.

Suddenly Allen burst into tears. He sat in fetus position and as not caring for the world he cried out louder and deeper than ever before. He just couldn't help it. Why did it hurt? Why did his chest hurt? Why did he feel so guilty?

Allen knew this whole exorcist thing must not had been a coincidence. There was no way Allen could possibly get stolen, since no matter where he was the Earl could just come pick him up with the Ark. If he hadn't done so by now, then he would not come pick him up any time soon. But just what the heck was up with him! He wanted to be an exorcist, he had always said he wanted to! So why was he crying now? Why was he quickly missing his family! Oh what just what was the Earl thinking? This was all the Earl's doing. So was this just a little gift to him to make him happy or was it something else?

Outside, as soon as Komui closed the door they heard the sound of the young boy crying.

Lenalee closed her eyes. " Poor child! Just how old is he! " She shouted in whisper holding down her own tears. She heard the teen's cries that were filled with sorrow and despair. Truly hard to bear.

" We're not sure Lenalee. We barely got any information out of him. " Lavi said faking to be cold.

Komui looked down. " He called Cross his master..."

Soon Lenalee fell to her knees crying as the boys cries got even more louder. Now he seemed to say some stuff in between but were so mixed in with the sobs they could just not come to understand. She started to cry reaching out toward the door. " Please Nee-san we have to help him! ; His just a child! "

Lavi quickly ran toward her and held her as to not let her run. " No you can't enter Lenalee! "He shouted at her.

" Why? Why? " She hid her face on his shoulders.

Komui looked down at the two teens annoyed. " Get the hell out Lavi! Lenalee's mine! " Lenalee didn't even notice what Komui had said.

" All right, all right chill down" Lavi let go of Lenalee and let Komui hug her instead.

" Haaaa... " Lavi sat on the floor. He took the hammer out of his pocket. He seemed to play around with it.

" So ~ What exactly are we to do with him? Seeing the innocence on his arm logic tells us he is to be taken as an exorcist but... "

" It's just as Cross had told us. " Komui interrupted Lavi.

" That he is mentally unstable? ; I mean, he didn't even bother on hearing us out. "

Komui let go of Lenalee and sat beside Lavi. Lenalee seemed to have clamed down now after Komui seemed to have comforted her.

The three of them sat in front of the door waiting for the boy to calm down.

" I can't quite put it, I know we are supposed to take him as an exorcist and we will but somehow I just get this feeling, this strange feeling... "

" He is shrouded with mysteries. " Lenalee continued.

Komui nodded. " Yes that and also... "

Komui looked at the door. " It's almost as if I look at him and all I can see is darkness. ; A tiny light slowly being consumed by darkness. "

Lavi and Lenalee looked down at the floor depressed.

Lavi raised his arms behind his head. " Haa.. well there is no use talking about that now. ; We will just have to wait for him to calm down and ask him ourselves."

Both Lenalee and Komui nodded. The three talked endlessly as the boy's cries just didn't seemed to cease.

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**Please review and comment,tips if possible, thx.**


	10. Cold

**Sorry for the late update. I was choosing whether to start updating every three days instead of two to have more time plus my big bro only let me use the computer for half an hour yesterday because he had university projects. So I didn't get time to finish the chapter. I wanted to add more things too! =-= Any ways, enjoy. *Sniff* *sniff * poor Allen. Baka Earl! X[**

**PS: I don't like using ( , ) but I asked my teacher back at school and she told me to use them. I think I used them wrong though... :P **

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.**

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_**Chapter 10: Cold**_

It was early morning when the white haired teen stared up at the morning sky. He sat beside the window, and looked up toward the sunshine. His tears had long dried and his smile had long disappeared. His hair faintly blew along with the morning wind. It was faintly cold. His breath was visible, under the faint light. His cursed eye was still injured, but the pain had faintly disappeared already.

Allen could hear someone softly knock the door.

" Can we enter, uh, Allen was it? " He heard a female voice ask him politely.

" Allen Walker, and, it's fine... " Allen murmured. He didn't even bother to look towards the door.

Allen heard whispers for a moment.

" I'm coming in, ok? " He heard the female voice say, but this time with worry in her voice.

Allen didn't answer this time as the door quickly opened. He hid his eyes as he heard footsteps approach him. Soon he could hear as the person was placing something on the table beside him. He did not bother to look at whoever it was that entered , or at whatever it was she placed ,at the table, though the sweet smell of milk hinted him something. Allen could soon feel the warm sensation of a hand touching his shoulder.

" Are you hungry? ; It's already morning and you spent the whole night with no food... " The voice said, as soft as it could.

The hand suddenly stopped touching Allen's shoulder, as soon as it saw Allen raise his head slowly toward it. He stared up, a bit sad, at the green haired girl he had seen the other day. Ever since the first time he saw her she always carried a face of pity and concern. Something, that annoyed him a bit ,as he hated to be pitied. He already had enough with the Earl, who was supposedly making him happy right now.

Allen smiled a bit toward the green haired teen. " Good Morning uh... "

" Lenalee Lee. " She chuckled, a bit more at peace now that, the boy, had finally spoken to her.

" Lenalee Lee? " He stared at her, confused, for a bit. " So your related to the Ko- whatever guy? "

She nodded, still, with her polite smile. " Yes, he is my older brother actually. "

Allen looked at her, with fragile eyes, and dropping his faint smile. He looked back, toward the window, silently.

" Ah! And his name is Komui Lee! "

Lenalee walked beside him, and looked at the window also. " What are you watching Allen? "

" The snow... " Lenalee saw as Allen raised his right arm towards the window. It was blood red, and on it a green cross was stuck to it. She was a bit startled out of it, but hold any comment from slipping out of her mouth, as that might bring him onto more depression. She stared in pity at his eyes. That of someone who grieved a loss. Of somebody who was purely tired, but at the same time was strong enough to hold a smile.

" It's beautiful isn't it? " She smiled to comfort him.

Allen widened his eyes, and looked back at her quickly. He looked at her sad, and like if he was about to say something ,as he raised his arm toward her, but then stopped.

Allen sighed. " It's not pretty...

" Hm? "

Allen lowered his view. " It's hideous. " He gritted his teeth. " Snow is ugly, empty, sad, nothing , but a sad glimpse of nothingness."

Lenalee looked up at him a bit surprised. She looked the other way a bit sad. She quickly looked back at him and got closer to him. She placed her hand on top of his hand that was placed on the window. He looked at her quickly.

" What are you saying? " She started with a soothing voice. Her expression unknown.

" Snow is not ugly, empty, sad or full of nothingness... "

His eyes widened as he saw the soft gentle smile of the teen girl. She stared directly at his startled eyes. " In fact, snow is more like hope that gently falls to the ground to make a beautiful white carpet. "

Allen almost left a laugh out. " Those words make no sense! Hope? How could the white snow possibly give hope? ; if all it does is kill poor plants, and make us starve to death as we freeze in our cold selves. "

Lenalee's smile dropped, a bit glumly. She picked up a cup of milk accompanied by a small bowl of cereal. She smiled gently as she offered the cup of milk to him. Allen picked it up and greeted thanks to her.

" You are right Allen, snow does in fact bring about many deaths but even so..."She trailed off ,as she stared at the boy enjoy the, small, bowl of cereal. A little bit too much. She let a small chuckle out.

" I'm sorry ; I must be boring you. I'm not very good at this. "

Allen suddenly placed his spoon down. " No, it's ok. "

He smiled, this time for real, and raised his right arm, behind his head. " I feel much better now. ; thank you. " He closed his, lone, eye.

Lenalee looked up at him, quietly, for a bit ; not really finding words. She soon felt the, empty, bowl bump onto her shoulder. She looked down at him, dumfounded, as she heard the, loud, sound of Allen's stomach.

Allen's face was bright red, as he smiled nervously. " Uh - uh, Can I get 50 more bowls of this cereal ; more or less? "

" Eh! fifty! Yes we have that much, but won't that be bad for your stomach! " Lenalee widened her mouth, in disbelief.

Allen raised his hand, in defense. " Sorry, sorry I have a huge appetite! "

Allen united his hands, pleading, and closed his eyes, as he was bright red." Please, give me more! "

" H- how old are you! "Lenalee still stared down at him dumfounded.

" 15. " Allen said a bit proud of his age and with a huge smile.

Suddenly they heard the laugh of a man who seemed to hold his laughter at the door.

" Komui! When did you enter! " Allen shouted in surprise.

" Hahaha, sorry to startle you, Allen. "

Komui knocked the door that was already open. " Are you feeling well? "

Allen flinched for a second, but then quickly smiled faintly. " Yes, I'm fine. "

" Ni- san! Will this small child actually be able to eat so much! "

" SMALL CHILD! " Allen shouted in defense.

" Don't worry so much Lelalee. This is how parasitic type innocence are! " Komui still laughed.

" Huh? " Lenalee asked, a bit confused.

She looked over towards Allen, who seemed to hide his left hand. " Oh, right, I noticed earlier... " She turned glum for a bit.

" Where are we anyway? " Allen asked almost like changing the topic plus it had been bothering all this time to know. " How much time has it been since you found me? "

Komui turned serious for a bit. " We are still at China. When Lavi found you, you were still in a critical condition. That was a month ago. "

He sighed. " We had no choice but to bring you to a close hospital beside the attacked city. "

Allen held himself from going crazy. A month? No way...

" What about the people? "Allen asked as to stop himself from over thinking all that might have occurred during his sleep.

Komui hid his eyes under his glasses." There were at most 500 casualties. "

Lenalee hid her hair under her long green hair.

Allen looked back down. He seemed to murmur something unbearable but then quickly looked back up at Komui. He spoke no words but stared at him with cold fearful eyes. Komui not really understanding why.

**HOSPITAL CAFETERIA**

Everyone remained wide mouthed as the young child devoured 50 plates of cereal in a matter of seconds. Komui had left to sign some documents, and Lenalee went to make him some coffee.

" Can I have seconds? " Allen smiled. Worried, the men hurried to bring him 50 plates more. Meanwhile, the red haired teen had stood, smirking hugely, on the same table as Allen's. He had not said anything up till now, but still carried an annoying smirk that almost reminded Allen of the Earl's smile. Only not carried with evil.

" So this is a parasitic type innocence! " Lavi had his jaw almost dropped on top of the table.

Allen cleaned his mouth with a tissue; He looked toward Lavi, and smiled.

" It's not like I like it all that much ; it shortens my life span. "

" You know that smile of yours is starting to piss me off! " Lavi frowned.

Allen chuckled. But his smile quickly dropped, as he raised both of his hands toward his chin. " Ok, cut the fake friendliness; what is it that you want from me? "

Lavi blinked. " Your quite sharp for being such a stupid boy. "

" WHAT did you say about me! "

" Nothing, nothing so anyways - "

Allen crossed his arms. " Hmph! I'll let it go for now. "

Lavi whistled with a glimpse of irony.

" You want to interrogate me don't you Exorcist? " Allen looked at Lavi in annoyance as he began to eat his second round of cereals.

Lavi looked the other way annoyed but he let it slip. " It's nothing much, really, we are just curious as to how you are related to General Cross Marian. "

Lavi saw as Allen's expression was that of sadness for a moment., but he then quickly hid it. Allen looked at all directions, a bit concerned. He eyed the group of people that surrounded them.

" Can't we go some other place to talk? "

" How about a walk? " Lavi offered.

Allen seemed to think for a bit but then quickly nodded.

**THE ARK**

A young fat man walked through a vast corridor. He carried good old Lero on his arms. He hummed a soft song. He seemed cheerful as ever. He watched from the corner of his eyes as two fellow Noah's spied on him.

From behind a wall two pair of boys, one with long blond hair, and the other with short black hair, looked on the Earl. Golden guns gripped at their fingers.  
The blond haired one trembled at the Earl's passing. The black haired one viewed angrily.

" Tsk! Stupid Earl! " The black haired one gritted his teeth.

" Baka Earl! " The blond haired one repeated.

" Shouldn't we help Road, David? "

" We can't, Jasdero, it is way too dangerous! "

Jasdero raised his hands towards his face. " Sniff. Sniff. "

" Stop it! We can't... we can't " David looked down a bit.

Soon tears fell from both of the boy's eyes.

" Allen! " Jasdero screamed as he fell to David's shoulder on a hug.

Road battled to look up as she heard, the creaking sound, of the door open. Everything was blurry. Her body was numb, as blood quickly splashed away from it.

" Earl... " She murmured battling to speak words.

The Earl kneeled down toward the bloody girl on the floor. He caressed her hair. " I'm sorry Road, but, after what you did, DISCIPLINE, is necessary "

" Tsk! " Road bit her lips. She held tears from falling.

" Damn you Earl, why! " Her voice raised a bit.

" Why did you sent Allen with the Exorcists! What if - What if - "

" What if he actually joins them? " The Earl finished her sentence. His tone cold as ever.

Road widened her eyes a bit. " Yes. "

" He won't. " The Earl smiled nicely.

" How do YOU know! "

The Earl sighed. He stood up. " How many times do I just have to tell you ; I trust him! "

" SHUT UP! SHUT UP MORRON! - " Road suddenly felt as she was hugged by the Earl. He raised her from the floor, as to do so.

" I'm sorry... " She felt the man tightening his grasp on her back.

Road closed her eyes. " Earl you are so crazy you disgust me " .

She grinned a bit evilly. " Though it's definitely fun at times. "

She then dropped her smile seriously again. She opened her eyes.

" But this is Allen we are talking about. He had never liked the Noah's much to begin with. He had never liked us. So, what makes you think? Sending them to the damn exorcist's side will help towards the path of a full Noah? Ha! Don't make me laugh! "

She pushed the Earl away from the hug and fell again to the blood covered floor." I am not telling this to you as fan girl Road Kamelot ; I am telling this to you as the Noah's First Child. "

Earl blinked. " He won't betray us. He has the Noah genes. "

Road felt as she almost spit out blood but hold herself. " BAKA Earl! " Some blood came out of her mouth unwillingly.

" Damn you Earl ; how come you are so blind! "

The Earl opened the door to leave.

Road felt like tacking Lero away from the Earls arms and hitting him with it." Ah! And don't you even dare hug me again fatty! "

He smashed the door tight.

Road stared in disbelief at the shut door. Now, that she was alone, she let a tear fall down her cheek.

" Allen… " She muttered till she fainted.

The Earl was surprised as he soon found Lulu and Tyki. They stood beside the door. Lulu seemed quite serious while Tyki carried a face of boredom.

" What are you doing here my children? " Earl asked innocently.

" To check Road's condition what else? " Tyki grunted.

" Calm down Tyki! " Lulu scolded him.

She took her dark glasses off. " Millennium we were just passing by and overheard a little. "

" Ah! So how much did you heard? "

" Everything. " Tyki spat out.

" Please forgive us Millennium, we were just worried about Road. " Lulu explained to him.

" Hmm. I see. " Earl threw Lero to Tyki's arms.

" Huh? Why are you giving me Lero! " Tyki asked a bit confused.

The Earl ignored Tyki's question and continued walking through the corridor. Tyki sighed. He gripped Lero on his hand.

" Hey Earl, just when is Allen going to come back? " Tyki asked indifferently.

The Earl stopped walking for a moment and turned his head towards Tyki. " When the mission is finished. "

" Hmmm. Somehow I don't fully believe this whole Allen went toward a mission thing but oh well. "

Lulu quickly reached towards Tyki's ears." That's because it's more of a test of loyalty, Tyki. " She whispered soflty.

Tyki walked by Lulu and the Earl with Lero. Lero had stood silent all this time as he could feel the tense air that surrounded the Noah. Since Allen had left with the exorcists things had changed a bit. The twins barely played anymore. Allen had always been their prank target. Road had been locked up in her room as she only wished to runaway and recruit Allen. Earl knowing this, had locked her up in her room, suppressing her Noah powers. Cyril, obviously not knowing this. Tyki seemed the same as usual but tended to ask every know and then about Allen. Lulu seemed to be more social now, something she had never done. The only thing that was still the same was Skin who didn't really care for anything that was happening. The family meals were also extremely quiet now and the left over food was thrown out. No Allen to eat it.

But out of all what most scared Lero was the change in the Earl's attitude. He had been very grumpy lately and not much of a playful friend, as he used to be. Though it pained all the Noah's, as well as himself to admit ; Truth was the Earl WAS changing and not for the better either...

He soon looked up to see Tyki greeting the twins into some casino games.

**CHINA**

Allen caressed his empty eye as he walked past a group of clowns. They gave away free lollypops and balloons to young children. Something that reminded him dearly of Mana. Mana had cursed his eye, something he would never forget.

Lavi had kept quiet up until now, finding the words into what to ask. He looked up toward his shoulder. Suddenly he could see Allen caressing his cursed eye. His face that of a lost boy.

He reached his arm up to him. " That eye will grow back don't worry. "

Allen looked up in surprise. " I know that already since I have lost it before, but - "

" How do I know it? " Lavi finished Allen's sentence.

" Yes. How do you know that! " Allen asked a bit forceful.

Lavi giggled. He raised his index finger with a smirk. " It's because I am Bookman! Bookman's apprentice actually."

" Huh? Bookman? Aren't you an exorcist? "

" That too but, well ,you see Bookmen are men that record information. You see I am a recorder. I am recording you as well as this war and all that occurs on it. "

Allen blinked. " I'm not quite getting it... "

Lavi petted Allen on the shoulder. " The war is composed of a fight between the exorcists and the Noah, what you carry in you arm is an innocence. People with innocence are called exorcists. You carry an innocence on your left arm so you are none other than an exorcist! One of the many members in the war. "

Lavi was going to continue his speech. He stopped abruptly as he saw Allen stop walking and pressing his fists.

Lavi blinked. " What's wrong Allen? "

Allen hid his eyes under his pure white hair. He gritted his teeth. " I - I am an exorcist? "

Lavi's mocking smile fell. " Well, yeah! As soon as you recover we are going toward the Black Order. There Hevlaska - "

" SHUT UP! "

Lavi's mouth was still wide open as his words were completely cut out. He slowly closed back his mouth and his finger fell as he stared at Allen in horror.

Allen raised his hand toward his face. " Speak one more word and I SWEAR I'll kill you! I swear it to the god damn Earl! "

Allen breathed heavily. He seemed to be scratching his face slightly almost as if he were holding himslef from actually doing the things he was saying.

" A - Allen? " For a moment Lavi stared at a different Allen he had spoken to during all this time. He spoke to a truly terrifying Allen, that just starved down at him similar to that of a raved animal that suppressed its instincts.

Allen flinched. He realized what he had just said. He quickly smiled gently. " Ah, I'm sorry! ; I didn't mean it like that, for real! "

Allen raised his hand toward his forehead. " I get nervous at times and speak total nonsense, sorry. " He laughed nervously.

Lavi saw as the boy looked the other way hiding his expression from him. " For real... "

" HE IS LYING! " Was the only thing Lavi could hear on his head.

" I'm fine really! ' Allen reassured him once more.

" Allen are you really all right? " Lavi spited out. He looked at Allen in nothing more but disbelief and concern.

Allen's smile dropped. So did his arm. He stared in front of him at the worried Lavi. He looked down at the floor glumly.

" Not really... "

Lavi exhaled a sigh. " No helping it then ; rest a bit for today."

A smile escaped his mouth. " Tomorrow we start our route toward the Black Order after all."

" Wha? - " Before Allen could ask Lavi had long continued his walk.

" Oh man! And I wanted to interrogate you today too! "

" Black Order huh… "

Allen looked back towards the circus. He then stared at Lavi's coat with crystals eyes. " I said I'm fine Lavi… " He tried to scream out but instead a soft whisper came out instead. Lavi not seeming to notice as he kept walking without flinching

" I'll always be fine, everything is ok, I just have to keep walking. " His voice trembled drily though he offered himself a fake smile.

Allen looked up toward the sky and raised his hand. " Mana, Cross, Earl, I will keep on walking. I can not forgive myself for talking like this with the Exorcists, but what else am I to do? "

" I let go of myself to Cross for a moment and now… "Allen felt as though he was about to cry again, but nothing came out. Absolutely nothing. There were no more tears to shed. His eyes were cold. " My family has abandoned me… "

The deep cold snow devoured Allen into the profound white of nothingness.

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.**


	11. Week

**( Sorry this chapter is short. I barely got time to write this week. Once again my bro kicked me out of my computer because he had university homework. bleh! And also sorry this chapter is confusing but I tend to try to make the reader feel just like Allen does. )**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man**

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**Chapter 11: _Week_**

" Allen... "

" Allen! "

Gently, deep clear eyes opened toward a faint light. A white haired teen boy stared at the far away unknown. He stared at what seemed to be the dark night sky. Tiny drops of liquid fell onto his face. Everything was blurry. His head hurt. Allen felt as his body ached and as though he had just awakened form a deep slumber. What was it that fell onto his face? This cold drops of liquid that now fell down his dry cheek. What was it? Allen felt a strange sensation of emptiness. Why did he feel empty? Why could he not move his body? What could it be? What was...?

Allen suddenly widened his eyes. A black man, Noah skin actually, gently slipped his finger from up Allen's hair, till he reached his soft chin. He seemed to caress Allen's cursed mark. Allen could not see well what this figure was, he couldn't even tell if it was human. But something he did know what that he was scared. Scared of this man. Scared of this liquid that fell to his face. So extremely terrified, his blood froze, his body felt cold. Allen could feel panic, hopelessness, pain, suffering, guilt and nostalgia. He could not even come to tremble as his body was fully unmovable.

Wait. That smell. Allen almost felt as his consciousness would leave but it didn't. The smell was making him dizzy. He battled to stay awake. As best as he could. But even so it was a pain to even breath. His lungs hurt and his heart throbbed. This smell, it was blood. The nostalgic smell of blood. Where had he smelled that blood before?

Allen suddenly felt a sharp pain pass trough his ears. He suddenly felt the strong sensation of vomiting. Almost felt like if he were to vomit the pain would go away. Strong footsteps, that of a horse ran through a valley. He stared at it. He saw the rapid carriage of a man and his two horses pass beside him. Allen stared at it in fear and confusion for a moment but soon. very very soon , fear and awe vanished from his being. An empty shell of nothingness was all that was he. He wished to feel emotions, just as he did before but he didn't. He wished so much he could but nothing, nothing happened.

What were this horses? Why were they falling to the ground bleeding? Why was the man headless. He should be scared right? He should be sad right? But why? Why had his feelings vanished so suddenly. Why had this happened? Why ? Why couldn't his shouting tears roll down?

Where was everybody? Where was he? Why was this hand caressing his cursed cheek. The hand was cold and yet warm. It was gentle and yet harsh. It felt nice and yet it was painful. Why had the horses died? Why was he alone on the floor? Where was he? Allen engulfed himself in even more questions as pain be felled him.

_" Neah... "_ He whispered.

_" Is this your doing, Neah? "_

Allen tried to roll his head up as to find just who the hell was caressing him but didn't seem to be able to do so. He could literally just not come to move anything. Nothing but his crumbled lips.

" ALLEN! "

Allen quickly stood up from the cold floor. He felt a sharp deep pain. He could not bear it and screamed to his lungs dropped on fetus position on the floor. He held his head with his hands and could not tell why but soft liquids still fell onto his face. He felt as arms tried to hold him down. As soft arms tried to pin him down to the floor. As they tried to take away his freedom to hold his face. He heard a commotion around him, he could not really tell who or what. He heard the shouts and cried of numerous people. All the figures were disfigured so he really couldn't tell who.

Time passed, eternal time, not really knowing why Allen felt as he tried to calm his nerves down but didn't seem to be able to. His heart beat so hard it made him spit out vomits of blood each time his heart bit. What was this pain? What the hell? What, what was he doing before? What was the last thing he could remember?

...who...

Who was he anyway?

" Allen! " Allen suddenly felt a warm sensation of a hug. He stared in terror as all the figures cleared. He could clearly see who were in front of him but at the same time he didn't. His brain tried to figure what was there, who were there and where they were but couldn't just seem to get it. He looked around and heard voices. He clearly heard what they said also but just as the figures, it was hard to understand what they were saying. No, he could just not understand and what they were saying, he could not even understand the meaning of their expressions.

" Allen! Allen! Allen are you ok! Allen! " A green haired girl shook his body as she held onto his shoulders. Tears fell from her cheeks as she stared at the boy who stared at nothing. Who had no light in his eyes.

Komui gritted his teeth and punched a fence that was beside a giant hole. " Damn it Hevlaska what did you do! "

Hevlaska made no expression. " Nothing Komui, I just read his synchro rate. I don't really know why he got like that. "

" Allen get yourself together please! " Lenalee cried on his shoulders. She quickly looked up towards Komui. " Ni-san, what shall we do! Allen doesn't respond! "

" Tsk! " Komui ran towards Allen and slapped his face. He expected a reaction but nothing, absolutely nothing. " Allen what's wrong! Is it you innocence! Does it hurt! "

Komui raised Allen's red arm. " Let me see! "

Komui widened his eyes. Nothing was wrong with his innocence, absolutely nothing. It was just fine. No injury, nothing. Allen's cursed eye was even back to normal. There was nothing wrong with his physical body so just what was it that was wrong with him? Just a moment Allen had been just fine. Ever since the day he woke up to go towards the order he seemed cheerful as ever. He even helped them out on a mission and everything so just what the heck was wrong?

Yes he had been quiet most of the time but the truth was that during the whole time Komui could not feel any aura of sadness from him. In fact, he felt the complete contrary. All he could feel from the boy was a strong sensation of happiness. Of a person who had just become free. But as soon as Hevlaska studied him he got like this, so just what the hell? Shit! Cross wasn't lying when he said the stupid kid was crazy!

Allen who had been oblivious to it all up till now, stared at the two. Even now he could not come to understand anything. No thinking, no anything, but still, slowly and almost like a great peace he felt as it all hit him.

Lenalee could suddenly feel Allen's arm tighten onto hers. She looked up and looked at the boy who stared at her in nothing but shock.

" A - Allen? " She sobbed in a mix of concern and relief. Finally he had regained consciousness it seemed but still why was he so shocked?

Allen looked around. He looked up toward the huge light being that stood before them. " H - huh? "

He saw as he was inside some type of building that resembled a castle and as Lenalee and Komui stared at him with concern and asked him thousands of things to assure he was ok.

" Lenalee? Komui ? "

" Allen thank goodness! Are you ok! What happened! "

Lenalee tightened her hug. " You got all weird as soon as Hevlaska touched you, at first I thought you were ok but the - then - "

" Allen was Hevlaska too much for you? She wasn't going to hurt you! " Komui shouted at Allen. " Geez, Exorcists have always feared her but not as extreme as you! "

Allen blinked. " H - Hevlaska? "

" Allen don't you remember? We left the hospital, went towards a mission and arrived! Don't you remember? "

" Remember? " Allen looked down." I don't know. "

" Huh ? - " Lenalee's words were cut out by Allen.

" Weren't we at the hospital right now? I went to sleep and then, what? ; where are we? "

Komui and Lenalee's eyes struck with horror and a slight realization. Komui quickly leaned down towards Allen.

" Allen what are you talking about? " Komui quickly asked forcefully. " We are at the black order remember? "

Allen looked at him with not much emotions. He smiled a bit. " Not really, we were at the hospital right? With Lavi? "

Lenalee pressed Allen's shoulders hiding her eyes under her hair's shadows. " Allen, Lavi left with bookman towards a mission a week ago."

" Bookman? "

" Lenalee... " Komui tried to comfort her.

Komui quickly turned to Allen again. This time with obvious fear." Allen it's been an entire week since we left the hospital! "

Allen widened his eyes. " How can you possibly not remember that entire week? "

" You spoke with us, you laughed with us, you were so happy and comfortable with us. We even talked about your past, so what do you mean by that... " Lenalee battled to speak the words out as she barely understood. Was he really crazy or was it something else. Her hair almost froze as the thoughts hit her. Who had they talked to during the past week? Was it Allen or? Did he have some type of split personality?

Allen on the other hand faked not knowing what had happened. He knew, he perfectly knew what had happened. He had been possessed by Neah. Shit! This was the second time wasn't it? But for a whole week. How sickening, how disgusting, how foolish to just have that bastard walk around faking to be him. Why had he come out? How much time did he lasted and why? Damn him...

Allen sighed. " Don't worry about it much guys. "

He didn't even give a chance to neither of the exorcists to continue to talk as he got up like if nothing had happened. He smiled and looked up at Hevlaska. " Are you Hevlaska? "

" Yes. "

" I see... " He turned around as to look back at the startled exorcists.

" Don't worry much about it, I'm fine right? ; You are fine so who cares. "

Lenalee and Komui exchanged worried faces.

* * *

**Yeah I know I jumped a bit but I really had to do something to make it interesting again. The dragging out is killing me!**

**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.**


	12. Inquest

**Yippy! I caught up to the number of chapters there should be now! Now I'm back on schedule baby!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own D. Gray Man. Repeat. I DO NOT own D. Gray Man.**

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**Chapter 12:**_** Inquest**_

Komui could feel the warm coffee slip through his throat. He stared at a pile of papers that mounted his desk. The clock ticked. Sweat fell from his cold face. He held a paper on his arm. He stared at it with all his concentration. He could barely notice the scientist crew that sat on the same room. He sighed putting his cup of coffee down.

**FLASHBACK**

Lavi raised his index finger towards his lips. He opened the hospital door slightly. He stared at the sleeping white haired teen. Lavi could barely come to believe the words kill had slipped from Allen's mouth the other day. His eyes were bloodshot and he had held his head tightly. And though he had clearly seen the boy was in pain Lavi had maintained his mouth shut. Lavi smiled slightly in relief. He had been worried Allen might have had a nightmare for that. He couldn't even express how relieved he was when he had found, instead of pained Allen having nightmares, he had found a peaceful Allen. A peaceful Allen that rested on his own little dreams. Dreams of what he wondered?

" Lavi what are you doing? "

" Ip! " Lavi almost jumped up startled. Behind him stood none other than Komui with his damn little grin.

" Oh~ And just what are you doing sneaking in on Allen like that? Hmmmm! " He teased him.

Lavi was not able to respond as he heard the sound of a certain boy get up from his bed. Lavi turned around and entered the room.

" Yo! Allen-chan you awake now? "

" Ya think! " Allen spitted out rubbing his eyes. He was clearly annoyed at the sudden movement of Lavi wakening him.

Lavi sat on the bed cheerfully. " Hehe! How about we continue our little conversation? "

Lavi saw as Allen didn't l even look up at him as he sat. Allen stared down at his hands. His eyes had been hidden in the shadows. For a moment Lavi saw as a slight smirk escaped Allen's mouth. But it soon faded as Allen looked back up . He stared at Allen who revealed a bright smile. Not that of suffering but that of happiness.

Komui stared deeply, a bit in horror. He who had been standing at the door up till now had seen Allen's face clearly. For that slight moment he saw as Allen's expression changed into that of a complete freak. He had smirked. Smirked so deeply his teeth could just show. His eyes had been wide open and his excitement was unmaskable. Those eyes. That smirk. That smirk, that face. Komui had a bit trouble deciphering it but he could tell, those were not the eyes of a child. They were eyes that of a being, some kind of being that had just been sent free, but what? Where had he seen it before? That smirk...

Komui had seen that but instead of seeing Allen as a threat, looked the other way pained. His eyes that of pity. He felt deep sadness towards the kid. A pity that made his stomach ache. A pain that Komui knew he would not be able to stand if he stared at the boy one more time.

" Good Morning Komui. " Komui heard Allen say with an angelic voice. A voice that would not hurt a fly. Completely contrary to the face he had just done. Komui bit his lips. He slowly and yet quickly masked his face into a wide smile. He looked back towards the two teens.

" Morning Allen! " He entered the room in excitement. Lavi stared quietly at the two, probably documenting.

Allen smiled a bit. A smile completely different than the other one. " Morning... "

" Aww! Your so mean Allen! It's Komui! Komui! "

" Haha, sorry. " Allen closed his eyes a bit sad.

" Does your eye still hurt? " Lavi interrupted abruptly.

" No, not really. "

Lavi smirked evilly. " Ha! Really? Interview! Interview - heh? "

Lavis smile dropped as he saw Allen look around the room.

" Ore? What's up Allen? " Komui asked quite curiously.

Allen looked up. " Where's Lenalee? "

" Ah! She's helping the finders pack our stuff! "

" Heh? How nice! " Allen smiled cheerfully.

**BACK TO REAL TIME**

Komui zoned out as drops of his coffee fell onto some stack of papers.

" Ahh! Komui, what are you doing! " A voice scolded him.

Komui looked up sleepily. He looked up towards a tall blond man. He wore a white coat and carried a whole new stack of papers. Komui rubbed his half opened eyes. " Reever ? "

Reever sighed. He picked the wet papers and threw them to the trash.

" H hey! "

Reever looked toward him. " It's fine I have copies here. "

" Oh. "

Komui placed his cup of coffee on the desk. He raised his finger towards his glasses. " So Reever, what do you think of Hevlaska's results? "

Reever put the stack of papers on Komui's desk. " Well it's weird what it is! "

Komui stood quiet for a moment but the quickly began to talk. " I was thinking so too. First Cross who had been missing for three years just randomly calls one day telling us he found some exorcist, then according to what Allen told us he broke the golem himself, probably to startle us and make us go. Which he did because me, Lenalee and Lavi ran towards the place. Lavi even temporarily had to leave Bookman alone on a mission. We would had taken Kanda also but he is also out on a mission currently. "

Komui sighed. " But out of all of this what startled me the most was how mysterious all that regarded this Allen Walker boy was. Firstly we found him heavily injured at a destroyed China town, his mood shifts are incredible and just as I feel nothing good out of him I find him ultimately necessary for the Order. - "

" And there is also Hevlaska's prophecy. - " Reever interrupted him.

Komui looked up at him seriously. " Yes and that, especially that... " His eyes tightened in pain as he remembered Hevlaska's words. Words Allen himself did not notice as he was lost in his pain.

_" Allen Walker, in a dark future far from now, your Innocence shall give birth to a great destroyer of time. "_

Those had been words that had left both him as well as Lenalee wide mouthed but hardly had time to pay attention to as they ran to help Allen.

" There is also the issue with his minor memory loss. " Komui closed his eyes. He joined both of his hands together under his chin.

" A week right? " Reveer interrupted him.

" Yes, I knew there was something strange with him but why? " Komui hit the desk. " Why didn't I as the one in charge, pay attention enough! "

" Komui - "

" I'm worried about his mind damn it! " Komui hid his face under his hands.

" Something must have shocked him. Something about Hevlaska must have shocked him so much it caused him minor memory loss... " He battled to speak up. " But what, just what? "

Reever sighed. " I'm not really sure ; there is nothing wrong with his synchro rate or his innocence. 83% is actually quite good if you tell me. "

" At most all his innocence has is that it is a parasitic type which would shorten his life but that's not abnormal for a parasitic... " Komui muttered quietly.

Komui exhaled a sigh. " There is also his cursed eye, which apparently sees Akuma's souls..."

Komui looked up slightly irritated. " By the way Reever what the hell are you doing standing there? ; get to work! "

" What about you! ; Get to work yourself! " Reever shut back at him.

**CHINA **

A short old man stared down at a pile of crumbled pieces of rock. He had a short gray ponytail as his hair. Both of his eyes seemed as to be covered in black. Snow covered an old looking valley of destroyed buildings. A red haired with an eye patch stood beside him. They both walked by what used to be a tiny town of China. The town Allen had been at. The town it all had began.

" So this was where you found him Lavi? "

" Yes, Panda. " Lavi said seriously.

Lavi felt as the old man hit him with his bare feet making him fall to the ground. " Don't call me Panda you good for nothing apprentice! "

" Argh! " Lavi got up with his cheek red of pain. " Then how about old man you tiny Panda! "

Lavi felt as the old man hit him again but this time with a rock. He bled slightly on his head. " It's Bookman! Bookman! "

Bookman's vein popped out as he saw Lavi take his tongue out. But he let it slip and continued investigating the area.

" Any clues as to Cross's whereabouts? "

" Nope tiny old Panda man! "

Lavi felt as a heavy rock PLUS Bookman's feet his him.

" How about Allen? How was his condition when you found him. "

" Well... " Lavi battled to say as he held his head.

**FLASHBACK**

" Oy kid! Get yourself together! " Lavi stared down at the pale white haired boy who barely let out a breath. His eye was heavily bleeding, his head also, his mouth was covered in blood, his body was covered in several cuts and his innocence had several holes in them that bled, almost seemed as bullet holes. Lavi could analyze quickly this had been Cross who had shot him. Lavi remained paralyzed at this but had to break from his shock quickly as he just had to run to help this innocence holder as he was fading from this world quickly.

A green haired girl flew down from the sky suddenly. Her black boots were bright in green. " Lavi! Is that him? "

" This was around the place Crosses golem's had suddenly appeared and then disappeared! "

Lavi gave the boy to the green haired girl. " Lenalee! This is the new exorcist! Take him towards a hospital quick! "

Lenalee nodded and flew up towards the Akuma covered sky.

"Damn it Cross! ' Lavi shout out as loud as he could. Enough that it echoed on the village. " CROSS! "

**BACK TO REAL WORLD**

" Bullet holes? " Bookman's eyes glittered as they quickly took interest.

" Allen's innocence had bullet holes? "

Lavi nodded. Bookman glared at Lavi. " How come you hadn't told me before? "

His view turned even more serious and sharp. " What kind of bullet holes? ; You DO know what this may been right? "

Lavi raised his hand behind his head and smiled nervously. " Yeah, and actually I did ask Allen about it at the hospital... "

" Ah yes the interview, how did it go? "

Lavi sighed.

**FLASHBACK**

" Ore? Cross is your master? " Lavi's face was green in disgust.

Allen smiled innocently. " Yes. "

His smile dropped. " My foster parent, Mana, died three years ago in a carriage accident... " He trailed off. Komui and Lavi remained quiet as the boy had finally spoken up. Allen looked directly at their eyes showing every bit of his emotions.

" Mana was everything to me. He gave me a home, took me in and accepted my innocence. My real parents abandoned me due to my arm so I was left orphan but then Mana took me in and made me his child. " Allen's eyes were cold, cruel and bored. So cold that all the feelings he expressed seemed as complete fakes. Lavi noticed this and saw it as extremely suspicious. Maybe he was just acting indifferent talking about his pained memories?

" But as I said he DIED. After the incident I fell into depression. My pain was so much I spent days on the cold snow just crying besides Mana's grave. " Allen's eyes glittered. This time a blood tear fell from his cursed eye. He did not even bother on cleaning it away.

Lavi and Komui freaked out a bit as the boys eyes were way too cold. " That's when HE appeared... "

There was silence for a moment. Komui and Lavi were left with the need to want to hear more.

" Who, who appeared! " Lavi screamed dying of curiosity.

Allen looked up, yet still with cold eyes. He grinned a bit in pleasure. " The Millennium Earl. He offered me the opportunity to bring Mana back, all with just a scream to his name. "

" And you accepted? " Komui said already knowing the response.

Allen nodded casually. " Yes. After that Mana's soul was placed on an Akuma's body. "

Allen pointed his empty cursed eye with his finger. " That's when Mana cursed me. He cursed me for turning him into an Akuma and now I can see the souls of Akuma's. "

Allen caressed his eye. " They suffer all so much. They cry. They plea for help during all eternity. " Allen's words were harsh and that of pity. But somehow they carried a tone of pleasure and mocking.

He smiled a bit. " That's when my innocence activated and killed Mana." Lavi and Komui stared in horror. Allen maintained his smile. " It's funny right? "

" A Allen, it's ok you don't have to force yourself. " Lavi raised his arm towards Allen.

Suddenly they heard the voice of Allen laugh." No for real, it's funny! Because guess what? Mana's soul was not saved. It disappeared and ceased to exist! Even though I killed him with my innocence! Can you believe that! "

Allen's smile dropped and his words cut out by himself. Lavi and Komui remained wide mouthed. They could not tell if this was a new discovery or just the foolish words of an insane teen. They paid close attention either ways. Allen dozed off for a bit and stared at the distanced wall.

" Allen? " Komui got close to him as to comfort him but then Allen quickly spoke.

" After that, the Earl left, that's right he left! And then Cross appeared and took me in! He trained me this three years and became my master! I became his student" Allen's eyes glittered in hate and yet in joy as he said those words. He did not smile and yet spoke the words with such excitement. Neither Lavi or Komui understood well why.

" But then... " Allen looked down. " Me and my master were training as usual in China when suddenly this huge wave of Akuma arrived... "

Komui and Lavi's eyes darkened.

" That's when the Millennium Earl came and took my master away too! ; He killed Master! "

Lavi leaned closer towards Allen. " What do you mean he killed him! Did you see him die! "

Allen shook his head. " The Earl hurt me heavily so I fainted. "

" What was the last time you saw Cross! " Lavi screamed.

Allen closed his eyes. " The last time I saw him was right before I fainted, both him and the Earl had been fighting. "

" Who was winning! " Komui shouted out also getting nervous.

Allen blinked. " I don't know. My view was blurry. "

" Tsk! " Lavi let go of Allen.

" No matter, I doubt General Cross Marian would die out of something like that. " Komui added.

_" You know nothing. "_ Allen thought suddenly on his head angrily.

Allen stared at Lavi as if realizing something. " Specking of which you sure do ask about Cross a lot and your hair is red like his... "

Lavi quickly glared at Allen in annoyance. " Lavi are you perhaps Cross's son? Or a family member of some sort? "

Lavi's vain popped out. " Are you crazy! Me? Family with HIM! No thank you! "

Komui hold his laughter. " I know, Lavi kinda looks like Cross doesn't he? But don't worry they're not related in any way~ Or so they say~ you know Cross is a womanizer~! " Komui teased Lavi.

" What if he impregnated one of his many women~ "

Lavi punched Komui. " In your dreams! I perfectly know Cross is not my dad! Millions of people have red hair in this world! "

Allen chuckled. " haha, ok, ok calm down Lavi. "

Allen raised his hand towards his chin. " And that's about it! ' He proclaimed cheerfully.

" You can't just end it like that! " Lavi scolded Allen. " There's still something else I have to ask! "

" Really? " Allen and Komui both asked bored in unison.

Lavi coughed. " Ahem, well Allen when I found you, you had bullet holes in you innocence arm, ones which according to Komui's studies were made by innocence and not Akuma bullets. "

" And Cross just so happens to have Judgment , which is an innocence in the form of a gun. " Komui added.

" Meaning that for some odd reason Cross shot you. " Lavi conitnued.

Allen raised his arm towards his chin, not even surprised. Lavi and Komui's suspicions grew as they boy's casual reaction. " Really I have no idea what it might be ; Cross never shoot me for all I remember. "

Lavi's eyes sharpened. " Allen this is serious. This might mean either:  
1. For some odd reason Cross had betrayed the Black Order and possibly joined the Millennium Earl.  
2. They were just stray bullets of Cross's Judgment, which I doubt since I don't think he is the type of guy to miss.  
3. YOU are the traitor Allen and Cross was forced to fight you, as to stop you. "

Allen tried his best not to flinch at the third remark, since really that was the correct one. Except he had actually betrayed the Earl and joined the Exorcists. Well not exactly him since he was Neah but that was at least what Allen was forced to do by none other then the Millennium Earl. Lavi and Komui stared deeply at the boy as to see a flinch or to paralyze or something. Seeing as he didn't their suspicions did not decrease but they raised a bit since a normal person would freak out if they were labeled a possible traitor just like that. Lavi widened his mouth slightly but kept the thoughts for himself.

" Or 4. Something we are yet to be aware of... "

Komui smiled innocently. " So Allen-chan! Which do you think it is! "

Allen blinked. " Hmmm, Master is not the type of man who would betray, me neither, Cross would never miss his Judgment so it's 4! "

Lavi sighed. " How simple minded Allen! " He spoke cheerfully.

He patted Allen's shoulder and got closer to his ears.

" I'm watching you. " Lavi whispered into Allen's ears coldly, making Allen freeze a bit bout not in fear but in anger.

**BACK TO THE REAL WORLD**

Bookman closed his eyes. "Lavi, that boy might as well be a traitor. "

Lavi looked the other way depressed. " I'm aware of that, Old man. "

Bookman ignored the offense. " I'm interested as to just who is this boy. "

Lavi sighed. " Just what do you mean by that? "

Bookman smiled. " I want to meet him. Your too soft Lavi, how many times do I have to tell you? "

He punched Lavi on the stomach.

" Oy, stop it Panda! " Lavi shouted in pain.

" You can NOT feel emotions Lavi! You are Bookman! "

Lavi grumbled. " Yeah, yeah I know! " He punched Bookman back making them enter into a fight of smoke.

" Stupid Panda! "

" Stupid Apprentice! "

**THE BLACK ORDER HEADQUARTERS**

Allen and Lenalee stared up at a huge gate. Allen was quite startled. " So this gate got scared of me when we met? "

Lenalee nodded. " Yeah, but me and Ni-san quickly explained the situation and they let you in. "

Allen bowed towards the gate that stared at him in fear. " I'm sorry to startle you Gatekeeper. I can't remember anything from this week but either way I am so sorry. "

The gatekeeper smiled nervously. " N- no it's ok! "

Suddenly Allen and Lenalee had to jump back as they saw the huge gate open. From the opened door there stood a young man. He had black long hair tied that into a ponytail. His eyes were sharp black and he carried a long black katana on his arm. His black Exorcist uniform was worn out, and covered in blood. He was covered in bandages through out his body. Allen stared at him scared for the man's well being. But before he could say anything he felt as from the corner of his eyes Lenalee ran toward him.

" Kanda! Are you alright! " She screamed at him in concern.

" Che! " He grumbled. This man seemed grumpy out of something.

" Kanda! " Lenalee shout out at him once again.

" I'm fine! " He screamed softly walking by her and standing beside Allen. He glared at him angrily.

Sweats fell from Allen's head but he managed a polite smile. " um, my name is Allen Walker! Nice to meet you Kanda was it? "

" Mugen! " Kanda pointed the sword at Allen's throat. Allen took out his innocence unconsciously in defense. Soon Kanda could feel as Lenalee slapped Kanda's hand.

" Stop that Kanda! "

She pointed at Allen cheerfully. " This is Allen Walker, a new exorcist! "

Allen looked down quickly at the ground at the words of him being an exorcist. He was still ashamed of himself after all.

Kanda kept walking not really caring. " So? His going to die anyway!

He looked back looking at Allen in disgust. " You all do. " And then continued walking.

Allen widened his eyes at the word die. It almost hit him as a bullet on his heart. Lenalee noticed. She held Allen's hand. " It's ok Allen, Kanda doesn't really mean those words. Your not going to die. "

Allen smiled glumly. " Right. "

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**I can't believe how much I wrote today and yet still got time to watch twelve anime episodes and go to Burger King to eat OoO! OMG! Two chapters in one day, new record! ^w^**

**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.**


	13. Panic

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray man in any way possible.**

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**Chapter 13: _Panic_**

Midday had fallen. Young Allen Walker swallowed hole a plate of bread. He stared down at a dusty cold room. He sat on a small bed beside a wall. Up from it, a giant painting of a clown covered the wall. The walls were a darkish blue color. The decoration was that of bricks. His blankets had been poorly done. Allen stood inside a small blue room. His hair did not blew as there was no window to do so but his eyes bled blood covered tears. Allen knew not why, but since Hevlaska's check up, blood randomly dripped down his grayish eyes.

Why ? Why was this happening to Allen ? Why were his eye dripping cold tears of blood? They hurt. Not in his body but in his soul. Somewhere inside the tiny body, Allen could feel a distant pain. A pain he clearly knew was not that of his own. A pain not that of the flesh. It was a pain that in an unbearable silence crawled up through like a slight electricity on his flowing veins. His heart beat at the rhythm of a subtle song. A delicate song that fused with his smooth lips, that step by step he recited in dormancy.

_" And then the little boy falls asleep_  
_Among the ashes in the flames shining..._  
_First one, then two... "_

Allen subtly closed his palpitated eyes. He could feel as a blood-freezing wind looped around him. They tainted themselves in bright colors of black and blue. Allen raised his arms up into the air. Similar to that of a prayer. Warm breath clashed the cold wind that blew around him. Peace ? Was this peace ? Was this suffering ? Was this sadness ? Was this happiness ? What was it ? Who did this ? Who was he ?

_" I will still continue to pray_  
_Please show this child what love is_  
_Hands sealed with a kiss"_

Allen's expression was unreadable, unbearable. It carried no emotions, no light, no warmth. All he enclosed was an obscure and frigid lust. Trembling yearning hands. Fading soul. A darkened heart. For a covered up child, death and change, was his only hope. His only salvation. Alone on his new room, he sang in whispers as morning came.

**MEANWHILE...**

Knock - Knock

" Ni - san, it's Lenalee, care for some coffee? "

Cracks echoed the empty hallway. Lenalee offered her lively smile. The one her dear brother just loved to stare at. The white tall man barely kept his glasses in place as he rubbed his tired eyes. With all the small strength he had, he raised one of his arms towards a pink cup of coffee. A cute bunny embedded onto it.

" Thank you Lenalee my sister! "

Lenalee closed her eyes. " It's nothing brother. "

Komui smiled like a moron. He always loved his morning coffee's. Especially when it was Lenalee who brought it. He was about to close his room's door, when suddenly he felt a quick hand hold it in place. Komui blinked.

" What's up Lenalee? Your going to give me some more coffee? " He smiled in a joking manner.

Lenalee looked up at him with concerned tired eyes. Her smile visibly dropped.

" L - Lenalee? " Komui asked startled.

" Ni-san, I have to… " Lenalee's eye's closed.

Komui could see as Lenalee lost her composure and fell on top of his chest. His cup of coffee slipped from his arms. It shattered on the floor, forcing the hot coffee to burn his feet. Komui had barely flinched at his pained feet. He stood frozen holding his sisters numb body.

Komui shook Lenalee's body a bit. " Lenalee? Lenalee, what's wrong! "

Komui touched Lenalee's forehead with his arm. It was hot. _" A fever! "_

Just as he was to panic in cries, Komui heard footsteps. Footsteps that brought him back on to the real world.

Just from the other side of the hallways appeared a short brown haired man. He wore strange glasses with circles on them. He wore a ponytail on his curly hair. Beside him stood a fat black man. His hair was brown and his eye was covered with a band-aid. They both wore white scientist clothes. They seemed to laugh at each other when they noticed Komui. He stood frozen at the front of his room's door.

" Yo, Komui! ; Whats u- " The man with glasses raised his arm. But quickly dropped it as he noticed what was on Komui's arms. The black fat man almost screamed.

" Lenalee! "

The two men ran towards Komui who hopelessly held Lenalee on his arms.

" Johnny! Tapp! " Komui shouted. His voice trembled.

Johnny and Tapp quickly took Lenalee from Komui's arm not even leaving him space to react. They placed her on top of his bed. She battled to breath as her face reddened.

As soon as Johnny and Tapp had placed a fresh tissue on her forehead, they looked back towards Komui who still stood at the front of his door paralyzed. Johnny walked closer towards him.

" What's up with you Komui, this is so not like you! "

Komui blinked trying to find words.

" I - I'm sorry. " Komui pressed his fists tight. He looked down towards the floor. Tears fell down his cheeks. " It's just been so long since Lenalee has gotten sick! "

He raised his hand towards his face. " I was so surprised... "

Komui felt as Johnny smiled up to him, obviously to comfort him. " Don't worry about it, it's going to be ok. "

Tapp nodded. " It's just a fever, so a little medicine shall do the trick! "

Komui cleaned his tears with his pj's sleeves. " Thank you, I'll take over from here. "

Komui sat beside Lenalee. He was about to set off onto his sister complex world when all of a sudden a thought crossed his mind. He looked up toward Johnny and Tapp who were just about to close the door and leave.

" Wait, I have a favor to ask! "

Both of them looked at him half thinking of what he would most probably say.

" Besides calling the nurse, what else? " Tapp joked.

Komui glared at them pissed off at Tapp's remark. " That! And… " Komui trailed off.

Just beside Komui's bed, which Lenalee currently slept on, their stood his desk replenished with towers of papers. Komui quickly reached out towards a white sheet of paper. He seemed to write some sort of secret message as he closed it in an envelope. He threw it over to Johnny who grabbed it.

" To Kanda. From Komui. " Johnny read the envelope curiously.

" What's this for? "

Komui smiled childishly and raised his finger. " A secret mission for Kanda. "

Tapp blinked. " Well then, Johnny, I'll go call the nurse then... "

Both Johnny and Komui nodded.

Komui coughed. " Please send it to him as soon as possible. Oh, and don't read, it's quite serious. "

Johnny and Tapp gulped. " Y- yes! "

**CAFETERIA**

Kanda hid his excited smile as he finally savored a scrumptious bowl of soba. His favorite food. It had been days since he had eaten some. Missing it had been inevitable. Stupid missions always getting on his way!

A group of finders eyed him in fear. Others in hate. They remembered as the young samurai had totally kicked all of the finders out of the table. He had even went as far as to threaten them with his Innocence, Mugen.

" You! You! " A tall finder punched Kanda's table, forcing the Soba Bowl to spill a little. Kanda looked up indifferently. He stared up at the man with a brown finder cloth. Tears fell from the man's eyes as he gritted his teeth.

" You, how could you dare criticize us! "

Kanda glared at him quietly. He slowly got up from his chair, unsheathing the Mugen from his arms. The finder's eyes widened as he saw him do so.

" What do you plan on doing! Kill me too? Kill me just as you mocked my friends death! " The finder cried out.

The man felt as the sword faintly poked his neck, making it bleed a drop. The finder stared down at Kanda, not in fear, but in anger instead.

" Even after he died for you! After he supported you! "

The finder raised his fist as to punch Kanda. Kanda hold the man's arms, sheathed his mugen and then pressed the finder's neck.

Kanda's serious face soon widened into a cold smirk. " You? Support US? No, you can do nothing BUT support us. You were unfit to be exorcists. You're just losers whom the Innocence refused to choose! There are plenty of replacements available for you finders. If you don't want to die, then get out! "

Followers got up as to hit him until -

" STOP IT! " Kanda glared down at the short man who stood beside him. His strange glasses stood out. The usual.

" What do YOU want, Johnny? " Kanda let go of the finder's neck as he noticed Johnny's angry eyes. Kanda sighed.

Johnny looked down a bit." Come with me Kanda, there's something I've got to tell you. "

Kanda didn't seem to understand much. Since when did Johnny ever spoke to him? And then with that serious face?

Kanda ignored his soba bowl and followed Johnny towards the front of the cafeteria door. The followers cursed him as he walked by. Kanda ignored them, as he could care less.

Johnny soon took a letter out of his white coat. Kanda exchanged faces, both with the letter, and with Johnny.

" A mission? "

Johnny nodded. Kanda took the letter from Johnny's hands.

" What about Komui? "

Johnny smiled a bit sad. He raised his arm toward the behind of his head. " Lenalee's sick so his taking care of her. "

Kanda not even responding, quickly walked by Johnny towards the gate. On his way, he opened the letter casually. It read:

_" Dear Yuu Kanda:_

_ How do you do? As the only exorcist free at the moment I need your help on the following mission. Firstly, have you ever heard of the new exorcist, Allen Walker? "_

Kanda stopped walking abruptly for a moment and widened his eyes. The contents of this letter's were no normal ones. This was not just any mission!

_" This exorcist claims to be General Cross's student. It's not that we don't believe him, but he is just a bit suspicious as he carries Cross's bullet injuries on his Innocence. Something we found peculiar as to why Cross would do this. Secondly, you might have not heard of this yet but we found Cross Marian again, better said, he got in contact with us, but~ Guess what? He quickly went missing AGAIN. Seeing as he was already missing for three years this isn't all too surprising, but thing is, Allen claims the Earl killed Cross. _

_For all too many reasons I can't explain to you right now, but both Allen Walker and Cross Marian are suspected as possible traitors. We are not sure of whom but there is a high chance that at least one of them is a traitor. Oh! And Allen is a bit, uhhh, crazy so it's hard to receive accurate information out of him. Don't analyze his words way too seriously. Please keep a close eye on him for the moment and observe his every movement. We don't want to make you seem too suspicious, so Johnny will have a mission prepared for the both of you to go to. I know you are extremely pissed off by now but I'll leave it in your hands!_ :3

_ Love~_  
_ The all mighty Komui! _

_PS : Please be nice! Being friends is a good way to spy on him! "_

Kanda broke the letter into tiny pieces. Smoke blew from his ears as he burned in fury. He quickly stomped his way towards Komui's room.

**KOMUI'S ROOM**

Komui caressed Lenalee's hair when suddenly - BAM!

The door slammed open. Komui joined both of his hands together as he smiled.

" Oh! Hi Kanda! What brings you here? "

Kanda almost threw a punch towards Komui but then stopped halfway holding himself.

" What the hell is this! " Kanda smacked tiny pieces of papers onto Komui's face.

Komui spit out the papers. " A mission! Mission! "

" Not doing it! " Kanda was about to turn around when he noticed Komui's serious face.

" Kanda, believe it or not this is serious. What if he really is a traitor? "

Kanda glared back at Komui. He stood quiet for a moment. Almost seeming lost in his thoughts but not enough to space out.

" Fine. "

Komui looked up at the samurai. He was surprised he had accepted. Just as he was to hug Kanda in excitement he saw the door close shut right in front of his face.

"Ey! That's mean! "

**A TRAIN SOMEWHERE**

Bloody tears continued to fall down the pale boys eyes. His white hair blew along the wind. His scar bled also. People ignored him in fear. The train quickly passed by numerous houses, numerous valleys, numerous towns. His lips were broken. He had bitten his lips unstoppably since he had boarded the train. He carried no smile. He ignored the world and stared out at the window in sadness. His heart bit faster. The sun was quickly hiding underneath the snowy mountains.

**THE BLACK ORDER**

Kanda ran towards the entire Order. He panicked as he had not found this moron Allen Walker kid yet. Even though he had searched for him through out the entire Order since this morning , he could not come to find him. And now that the Main Gate had confirmed that he had let Allen go out, Kanda could not help but burn in fury, as well as in panic. Night had already fallen and the white haired teen had left early morning...

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx!**


	14. Sensibility

**Sorry my writing style changes so much, still trying to find my style, O-O', and sorry I updated late. I'll try my best to make up for it by updating the next two-three chapters faster.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN D. GRAY MAN.**

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**Chapter 14: _Sensibility_**

Ice blue moon, high up the sky. It's delicate bright light fell upon the church windows. Steps echoed on the blinding night. The wind blew a long brown hair. Soft lips opened themselves slightly. The figure of a woman stared down at a young teen. He had been down on the floor. Snow covering him whole. He stood immobile in front of an old church. The woman ran towards the boy in fear. She touched his wrist's veins in worry. She was so relieved as to find he was still alive. She picked him up, looking over towards his joined hands. Cold hands that bled. He carried on his arms, a yellow tiny ball. A tiny ball with sharp teeth that trembled.

Door opens.

" Chief! " A woman opened a door loudly. She ran towards a desk holding colorful pieces of paper. On the desk sat a fat man. He almost jumped up startled at her sudden coming.

" Moore? " He looked up at her dumbfounded. She wore blue sheriff clothes.

Moore tried to maintain herself from loosing her breath. " It's an emergency! " The woman did not even bother in hiding her panic.

She quickly placed the papers on his desk, almost making them fall towards the ground. "Place posters around the village of this boy! " She picked one of the papers out and shoved it, in front of his face.

The fat chief blinked. He stared down at the poster curiously. " What? What's up with him? "

The woman gritted her teeth. " I found him fainted on the snow, very close to death. "

She raised her hands towards her face. " I doubt he will wake up any time soon, on the meantime... " She raised her face and looked up towards him.

"Please find his parents! A child should not be walking around alone at night, and less on the snow! "

The man stared at her not really understanding, but nodded either ways. Seeing her panic he could at least tell it was serious. He picked one of the posters. His indifferent face soon dropped into a surprised one s he stared at the details of the drwings. " Wh - What's up with this white hair and this scar! "

Moore looked down in shame. " That's what I'm worried about. It could have been some type of rebellious runaway. "

" A runaway? " He stared at the well drawn drawing of the strange boy. " Haaa probably abused. "

Moore looked at her fat chief with sad eyes, eyes she did not hide in false happiness. She didn't even know this boy, but she was still worried. Worried for his safety.

" The teen's at my home, if any parents come reclaim a child. " She said looking the other way. " I have him. "

" Sure... " The fat man drifted off.

The woman smiled slightly. The fat chief saw as Moore slowly turned her back on him. Just as her smile dropped, her tiny hand reached towards the door. The office quickly fell in silence.

The young boy awoke on an unknown room. White hair fell onto his gray eyes. He blinked a bit. He looked around the room. It was small and colored in pink. He had no idea who this room could belong to, but it was definitely cute.

_" Where am I... "_

Suddenly Allen heard the faint presence of somebody beside him. He looked towards the door. He almost jumped up, as he saw a young woman with long brown hair, standing beside the door. She seemed even more scared than him and held tightly to a bowl of water as she had almost dropped it.

" Morning? " She murmured a bit shy, after seconds of staring in silence.

Allen stared blankly at the woman. She stared blankly back at him.

" Who the hell are you! " Allen shout out abruptly.

The woman threw the bowl of water at the floor in anger. " What do you mean who the hell am I! You were the one who ran away! "

" Run away! Me! " Allen got up from the bed and crossed his arms. " Say's who! "

" Say's common sense! " She shout back at him. " Why else would you be half dead on the snow! "

The woman saw as Allen was about to blurt something back, but held himself from doing so. He widened his eyes as if he had realized something. He blinked and pointed his index finger towards his face. " I was? "

The woman sighed. " Yes, and big sister here TOTALLY saved you. "

She winked at him. " Awesome huh? You'd better thank me! "

Allen looked the other way embarrassed. Clearly red. " Y - yeah I guess...thank you. "

" He! "

A few minutes later the woman re-entered the room, but this time with a cup of tea, which he accepted.

" So what were you doing outside at those hours, then? "

Allen slowly looked down. He bit his lips but then looked up at the woman with a smile. The woman stared at him in silence.

_" Maybe that was bit too straightforward... "_She wondered.

" What's your name then? Mine's Moore. " She asked in a friendly manner, as to change the team.

Allen blinked and seemed a bit disturbed with the question. " Ah! Well, "

He seemed to find objects as to look at. " My name is Allen Walker and I was... " He drifted off with a faint smile.

" You were? "

" I was... "

The woman smiled. " Yes? You were? "

Allen's smile dropped. His face turned into horror.

_" I was...? What was I doing? Why am I even here? I don't get this, what? "_ He closed his eyes quickly.

Moore thought of the poor boy. She was just kidding when she told the chief he was abused, but what if he really was abused? She had already called the chief and told him of the kids quick awakening, so she just hoped whoever had taken care of him would soon find him.

" You know I can't really remember. " He laughed nervously.

Moore slapped her face." What! Don't tell me it's memory loss!

Allen raised both of is hands in defense. " No! No! It's not memory loss! I know I came here from the Black Order. I was searching for something! " He looked down " Can't really remember what though. "

_" Black Order? What's that? "_

The woman blinked looking at the yellow Golem that flew around him. " Wouldn't it be that yellow toy? " She pointed at.

" What yellow toy? "

Allen looked up and then smiled. " Ah! That's right! Timcampy! "

He raised his arms as he felt Timcampy fall onto his arms.

" I don't know why, I can barely remember why, but for some odd reason all I can remember is I was searching for something. " He said, still laughing nervously. He hugged Timcampy tightly.

The woman laughed. " I already sent the police to place posters of you around the town as a missing person. Your parents should be here so- " She stopped midway as she saw Allen's saddened face. She quickly understood . She looked towards the other way a bit ashamed of herself.

_" I knew it. "_

" Oh...I see...I'm sorry. "

" No, It's ok. He died years ago... " Allen said softly.

She raised he view a bit. " What about your mom? " She asked a bit low.

" I never had one. "

She lowered her gaze. " sorry for making you remember such horrible memories. "

Allen smiled at her politely. " Don't worry about it. "

Suddenly Allen felt as a wave of dizziness hit him. He quickly pressed his face on top his arms. He felt as the woman quickly shook his shoulders concerned. He quickly looked back again. He smiled, holding his pain back.

" You ok? "

" Yeah. "

Moore looked as the boy seemed lost in his thoughts. He seemed as though he wanted to ask something but wasn't sure if he should.

" Anything you want to ask me? "

Allen flinched at the question. " Hey, umm, forgot your name but yeah, ummm. " He suddenly started talking, not really thinking what to say.

" Hm? "

" Can I use your bathroom for a bit? " Allen said not much embarrassed but with a glimpse of annoyance on his voice and still holding his smile.

Moore noticing quickly nodded and showed him the way.

Allen stared at the bathroom door. He hid his eyes underneath his white hair. Quickly, he entered and closed the door shout. Timcampy followed. Moore sighed a bit annoyed as he had locked himself up.

_" Hopefully, he won't do something stupid as running away... "_

She walked back towards another room. In it a man sat on wheelchairs, stared blankly at nowhere. Saliva fell down his mouth. His eyes were dead white. Moore stared not in horror but in pity. She held her tears as she did her best as to make him eat a bowl of hot soup.

**BATHROOM**

Allen stared in anger at a small mirror that stood on the wall. He gritted his teeth.

" WHAT is it 14th! What is it you want from me! " He shouted holding himself from hitting the mirror.

His hands trembled as his anger grew. " Is it my life! Is it because I'm your vessel! Are you at the Earl's orders! Huh! What is it! "

Allen breathed heavily. Suddenly tears fell down his face as he dropped to his knees. " What do you want damn it! "

He punched the floor. " What's wrong with my memories! Why do I keep forgetting everything! "

Allen crawled up on the floor as anger and sadness overwhelmed his very being. " Damn you 14th, this is your doing isn't it! Isn't it! "

Allen sobbed on the floor, but this time he didn't sob in sadness or in fear, he sobbed in anger, pure anger towards the 14th.

**CHURCH**

A man with officer clothes ran for his life. He tripped on the cold floor. A giant monster followed him from behind. He's eyes widened as he saw the huge, gray looking beast, shoot him on his chest. He fell to the ground shouting in pain. Black stars penetrated his skin. His body turned to dust. The fat chief hid behind the church walls as he heard his partner's screams. He breathed heavily. He shouted in fear at the red sky, blood spitting from his mouth.

**TRAIN**

Kanda punched Komui's face. Komui held his nose tight, holding blood from dripping down. Kanda caught back his breath.

" Damn you Komui! How in the HELL did you guys not notice Allen's escape! "

Komui sighed. " You know I'm not really sure myself with all the cameras we have. "

Kanda punched Komui again on the face. " Stupid laboratory rats! What the hell were they doing! "

Komui seemed to think of something for a moment. He then clapped his fingers.

" Ah that's right! I sent them all to the infirmary to go help Lenalee! "

" Asshole! " Kanda spit out. He crossed his arms and looked towards the other way. " Tsk! "

A drop of sweat fell down Komui's head.

" So how will we find him? " Kanda asked changing his tone towards serious one, more serious than his usual one.

Komui looked over at Kanda seriously. " That's easy, we have at least one Finder stationed in every town possible. I've already sent an order for them to report as soon as possible if they were to find something suspicious. Obviously I sent them all to investigate. "

Kanda didn't say anything as he heard Komui talk.

" But we don't have to worry about it much since it's really easy to find clues on Allen with his peculiar appearance. " Komui continued.

" White hair, red scar, red hand. " Kanda murmured.

Komui looked around at all the people at the train. He smirked evilly. " You know Kanda it is SO nice of you to keep me company. "

" You just tagged along! " Kanda's vein almost popped out of his forehead.

**MOORE'S HOME**

Moore placed her hands on top of the mans shoulders.

" Marc, are you ok? "

He didn't seem to pay attention. He seemed lost in his thoughts. Moore looked down.

_" Did I say something as to disturb him? "_

The man looked back up at her and smiled. Blood dripping from his eyes and mouth. A gun pointed t Moore's forehead.

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible thx. Oh and really thank you to all the people who read, favorite, alert and review. Thanks to all! ^v^.  
**


	15. Bloodshed

**ARGH! Without lying I have been TRYING to upload this freaking chapter since 2 days ago! Seriously! And I'm not lying on this one. On Thursday my internet was horrible! Not even Google could open! And then on Friday(this may sound scary.) a small earthquake hit the exact same moment I was on fanfiction literally JUST about to press the button upload.(Yes, an earthquake on Christmas eve.) Obviously I wasn't going to turn the computer on the same day after that. I'm ok, don't worry. That was like wow... **

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way.**

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**Chapter 15: _Bloodshed_**

_'The soft beat of his heart ringed in my ears. Sweet soft melody ripping my ears apart. His cries, his desperate cries shatter my longed existence. What is it boy? Do you hate me? Do you hate me that much? Don't you love me? This child, my child holding onto life. A - ah! Now I've gone and done it. Sweet little boy, young little Allen... I'm sorry..._

_All I wanted was to help, to help you overcome, so what is wrong? Is it that bad to possess you like this? Was it not you who wished to escape reality? Was it not you who could not come to a decision. So tell me...why are you crying? Why are you angry at me? Staring at me from the other side of that filthy mirror. I did it all, everything and all just so you could move on. You could not come to accept your life as an Exorcist, your betrayal, child oh child burning in the ashes of despair, go be it, be free, let's see if your able to withstand this wretched world. Let's see if that will of yours is able to accept reality and move on...go on you dumb child!'_

Allen widened his eyes as he heard the sound of a finger snap. He looked around the bathroom searching for the sound. Nothing was there, nobody was there, only Timcampy who for some unknown reason he had searched for. Just him. Allen blinked. He then looked back at the mirror to where Neah stared at him, not with his trademark smile, but instead, a saddened face. A face so sad it could just rip Allen apart but it didn't.

Allen widened his mouth a bit. His eyes hidden in between the shadows of his hair. Small wet tears fell down his cheek. Allen raised his arm and placed it in front of the mirror. He seemed to be about to say something until -

_*BANG!*_

Allen heard the shouts of a woman and the sound of walls breaking. His cursed eye suddenly activated, giving him slight pain. Allen remained a bit dazed for mere seconds staring at Neah who imitated Allen's tear. Allen did his best as to analyze the situation. He looked down towards the floor and then up towards Timcampy, glumly. He then smiled towards Timcampy and then at Neah. He whispered unheard words with his smile, shook his head and got up. He opened the door and looked around.

Moore remained paralyzed on the ground of the dusty room. Her view and entire body paralyzed. She stared at a huge round Akuma that stood in front her.

" Stop it! " Allen looked up towards the Akuma and then at Moore.

He ran towards her and shook her." Moore! "

" Moore! " Moore suddenly blinked and looked up towards Allen.

Allen noticed as she remained her composure. " Moore, are you all right, are you inju - "

Allen suddenly felt the woman raise her hands towards him. She brought Allen into a tender hug and cried on his shoulders. Allen remained paralyzed but at the same time attentive at the Akuma that only stared.

_" Huh? What? Why doesn't it attack, why doesn't i - "_

A flash crossed Allen's mind. _" ah, that's right... "_

Allen lost himself on his own thoughts as Moore cried on his shoulders. " Mark! Mark! "

He on the other hand looked down closing his eyes. _" I'm a Noah, I told him to stop. Of course he would obey... "_

Allen pressed Moore's hug back. He closed his eyes. " I don't know who Mark is, but if this Akuma is Mark then he is dead. " He whispered coldly yet in pain.

The woman broke the hug and looked up at him with no expression.

Allen noticing what he had said quickly raised his arms. " Ah - no! That's not what I mean. Um - "

She looked down ignoring what he said. " Dead? What do you mean dead? "

Allen lowered his arm and looked the other way, fainting a smile. " Um you see I can see the souls of Akuma's with my cursed eye. And uhhh - "

Suddenly Allen noticed the sharp pain in his eye worsen. Blood dripped down it. He looked down and chuckled. He gently pushed Moore away from him. Moore not really reacting much in her shock. He got up and glared at the Akuma in sadness. He stared up at the soul of a woman who was screaming on top of the Akuma's shell. Allen's eyes glittered.

_" This soul, I must save it. It's crying, Right there in front of me. My eyes can see it. Her suffering... "_

He widened his eyes._ " Now that I think about it, didn't I want to become an exorcist in order to save this Akumas? Well here I am in front of one, no Earl or Noah to stop me from killing this Akuma and saving this soul... "_

Allen felt a flash of pain hit his head. He raised his arms towards his head breathing heavily.

_" So why then...am I not killing it. "_

Allen lowered his hands ignoring the pain. " Explode. " Slipped from his mouth.

_" With this the woman's soul will be saved. "_

Allen then turned his head towards Moore and smiled his innocent smile. She who looked up at him in horror and who also seemed in pain.

" It's all right now Moore, it's hard to explain but both his soul and that woman's soul will be saved. "

" Huh? What are you - what are you - talking about... "Moore's face remained in shock. She could just not come to understand all that was going on. Nothing, nothing she understood, only that Mark, her reason to live was dead and this kid what?

Allen's smile dropped. _" I should explain this to her more accurately later. "_

A bright light shone behind Allen's back. He quickly looked back towards the Akuma with a huge happy grin stuck into him. He was so glad he could finally come to save an Akuma. Moore didn't understand at the moment but he would be sure to at least see the Akuma's soul be freed. Just as he looked back his eyes widened in true deep horror. His smile dropped automatically as a scream slipped hi mouth. He raised his arms towards his mouth. His entire body trembled. Allen fell down on his knees at the scene he stared at.

_" No! No! Only my innocence can save Akuma! "_

Tears fell down his eyes. He could not help but let out his loud cries. _" If he explodes himself then - "_

He raised his arms towards his head. " WHAT HAVE I DONE! "

Allen quickly raised his arms towards the Akuma. " No, wait! I take it back! Don't! " His voice cracked and barely understandable.

" Understood" The light stopped for a moment. Allen sighed in relief.

_*BOOM!*_

Allen's arm still remained in mid air. His face stuck on his half opened mouth and his eyes fell down at the dusty cold floor crying. Moore could clearly hear his shouts.

_" What? Why is Allen crying? Didn't he say my brother was...saved? "_

Moore crawled up beside him. She stared at him in shock.

" Why - why do you cry Allen? " She battled to speak up.

_" How could this happen? This young boy, this kid. "_

" Mark was saved right Allen? Right? " She held Allen's arm trying to make a smile.

_" How could this kid I saved ruin my life! "_

Allen's cries softened , he looked up at Moore with lost eyes. Eyes that clearly told her no. He didn't spoke words. Moore raised her other arm at her face at the realization. Allen looked down at Moore's arm. More tears fell as he stared down.

He then looked up at Moore and smiled. " Yes, I saved him. " His voice was cracked up but filled with reassurance.

Moore looked up at him not really catching up. Allen caressed Moore's wound. Her arm was bleeding. It had an Akuma bullet wound.

The woman laughed and closed her eyes. " Is that so? " Allen widened his eyes as the woman kissed his forehead.

" Thank you. " She whispered. Before Allen could react stars appeared on her body's skin. She fell towards the ground screaming.

" Moore! Moore! " He shouted as her body turned to dust.

_" Huh? What just... "_

Bloody tears fell down his activated cursed eyes. " What just happened... "

_" What exactly... " _He got up and slowly looked up towards the Akuma's dust _" Was this because I concentrated to much on myself? "_

Allen found no words or way to react. Somehow he felt a feeling of guiltiness. A feeling of horror. A feeling that told him. _'This is your fault boy.'_ but at the same time he felt blank. He looked up at the Akuma in disbelief. He then looked down at the dust of her corpse.

_" Did she just...die? Moore? Just like that? But... "_

He then looked up towards the Akuma's dust.

_" Did I just made a soul disappear? "_

Allen raised his hands in front of his face. Enough so he could see them. They were covered in dust. The dust fell down his hands as they trembled.

Allen gritted his teeth. He fell to the ground crying loud sobs. His cries echoed in the home.

Allen punched his own stomach continually. " DAMN IT! DAMN IT! "

_" Why? Why hadn't I realized before? "_

Allen remembered as Moore had taken care of him. As she picked him up on the cold snow. As she offered him food.

_" Moore! Moore saved me! She saved me from that cold snow! But in change I... I... "_

" DAMN IT! " He shouted at the sky.

_" Allen. "_

He heard a voice call him on his head. Allen automatically noticing who it was.

" Neah... "

_" I'm sorry... "_ The voice did not giggle but instead spoke in shame.

More tears fell down Allen's cheeks.

" You asshole... " He murmured. No response.

" YOU ASSHOLE! " He shouted crying.

_" It wasn't my fault Allen... " _Neah whispered softly. Remorse hinted in his voice.

Allen widened his eyes at the realization. " Wha? Huh? - "

_" It was your own weakness Allen... "_

Allen got up from the floor and looked around. He narrowed his eyes and exhaled. He looked up toward the night sky.

" I - I'm weak...? " He whispered in shame at himself.

_" If only I - If only I 'd been stronger. If only I wouldn't had been weak enough to fall into my instincts and follow Neah's wishes then Moore, then Mark, then that woman's soul..."_

Allen tried his best to clean his tears with his sleeves. _" Then they would still be alive! "_

The sun rose. Allen was sat on the floor. His eyes drowsy and tired. He chuckled sadly. " So I could finally cry huh..."

He looked up at the sky and bit his lips. A tear fell down his cheek, he's expression unknown.

_" Am I...a murderer? "_ Allen held himself from falling down on his knees crying again.

Allen got up from the dust and made his way towards the outside. Blood dripping from the arms he tried to rip off but failed to.

**MEANWHILE...**

Kanda stared angrily at a Finder that smiled nervously. Komui sighed.

" W- What did you say! " Kanda took the Finder by his shirt.

The Finder kept laughing nervously. " Um, according to our information posters of a white haired child were posted all over a small town here in London. At first he was reported missing but then, as soon as morning came, he was reported as wanted. "

Komui blinked. " Wanted as in a criminal? "

" Apparently... " The finder looked the other way. " Apparently it was reported that a young officer found a white haired teen half dead in the snow with a golden toy. She took him to her home for a day to keep him safe but then... "

Komui raised his finger towards his mouth. _" Golden toy? Of what I know only Cross... "_

The Finder lowered his gaze. " The next morning both the white haired boy, Officer Moore, her brother in law Mark, the chief of the police station and Officer Charles were reported missing. It is suspected they were either abducted or murdered as there was blood in the ground and a huge amount of dust both at the church and at a home. Both heavily destroyed. "

Kanda let go of the Finder. He looked the other way. His eyes widened. Komui remained paralyzed as well.

" The suspect of the murder massacre is the white haired teen with the scar on his eye. " The finder declared. " Wouldn't that be Allen Walker? "

" K- Kanda... " Komui murmured half not being able to speak his words.

Kanda didn't even turn his head as to look at Komui. He hid his face.

" Allen Walker, may really be a traitor... " Komui's voice trembled as he raised his hand towards his mouth in disbelief of his very words. He felt sick.

Kanda closed his eyes and walked away. Komui followed. Both men remained silent the rest of the way.

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.**


	16. Nostalgia

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man.**

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**Chapter 16: _Nostalgia_**

A small finger she felt poke her sweaty forehead. A man in scientist clothes looked at her from up the bed. He's huge glasses with swirls almost falling off from his eyes. He's blond brown hair curled up in a short ponytail. Her view was blurry. Everything was cold.

She blinked in response. " J - Johnny? "

The scientist flinched as he now noticed the now up Chinese teen.

She got up from the bed. " What are you doing he - " She could not finish the phrase as dry coughs escaped her mouth. She covered her mouth with her hands.

"L- Lenalee are you ok! " Johnny quickly held Lenalee's hand.

Lenalee slowly raised her head and nodded. A small smile on her face. Johnny sighed in relief. Johnny noticed as Lenalee looked around, similar to that of when you search for somebody. Johnny blinked.

" Who are you searching for Lenalee? "

Lenalee stopped looking around the room. She looked down at her hands sighing.

" Hey Johnny, where's Nii-chan? "

Johnny's body stiffened._ " Ah Crap! "_

He leaned in closer towards Lenalee with a smile. " He went out to accompany Kanda on a mission. "

Johnny's smiled dropped as he noticed Lenalee's horrified face.

" Le- Lenalee? " Johnny tried to speak out before Lenalee punched her bed.

" Where did my brother go! "

" H- huh? "

Lenalee grasped Johnny's lab coat. " What happened! "

Johnny widened his eyes as he saw tears fal downl Lenalee's eyes.

" Where - Where did he go to! - " Lenalee pleaded him but was interrupted with heavy coughs once again. Johnny quickly placed her back on the bed.

" L - Lenalee calm down! There's a limit to your brother complex you know!"

" Shut up! " She slapped his hand.

" E- Eh? "

" Nii- chan NEVER goes out unless something bad has happened! "

Johnny looked the other way. "_ She's right._ "

" So tell me... " She trailed off as she began to sob.

She raised her hand to her face. " What happened... "

Johnny kneeled down towards the teen on the floor. He patted her head and smiled. " How about we start with what happened to you? "

Lenalee seemed to paralyze at the question. " Your big bro was worried sick you know! "

She looked up at him with frozen eyes.

" _That's right, I have to... _"

**CHINA**

Lavi sighed as he almost threw himself on top of a red couch. Bookman accompanied, but instead, he sat politely. They stared up at the huge bald woman that sat on the couch in front of them. She hid her eyes as she stared down. Her hands trembled vigorously as she pressed them together. Tears fell down her eyes.

Lavi felt his heart throb. He did he's best as to maintain his composure with a cold face. Bookman sipped a cup of tea. Both Bookmen just listened silently to her response.

" I c - couldn't protect her! " She shouted in sobs.

Bookman placed the cup of tea on the table in front of them. A table that divided both of the couches.

" Who couldn't you protect? "

The woman looked up. Her face that of tired eyes. " M - Miss Anita... " She trailed off.

" Can you be a bit more accurate Mahoja? " Bookman grunted at her annoyed.

" Miss Anita and the crew! " She shouted even louder.

Lavi just looked towards the window, as he knew, that if he were to look at the woman's tears, he's heart would just rip apart.

Bookman wrote some notes on a small notebook as he heard Mahoja talk.

" And just who exactly killed them Mahoja? " Bookman continued.

Mahoja's eyes suddenly shifted from that of sadness into that of hatred. " The Noah... "

Bookman widened his eyes but kept quite. Lavi's hair almost froze up at the mention of the word _'Noah'_.

" I don't know which, but there were three of them; a young man that seemed in his 20's with a black tuxedo and a tall hat, a young girl with a purple dress and a boy that seemed as if he were 16 or 18 with white clothes. "

The two bookmen could barely breath as they heard the woman unravel her story.

" All of them had gray skin and stigmata's in their foreheads, except for the teen that had three huge eyes on his forehead instead of stigmatas. " Mahoja shut her eyes tight.

She got up from the couch an bowed down slightly. " I am so sorry! But I can't remember anything else! "

She looked up at the shocked Bookmen. " Please, I beg of you... "

The woman bowed down even lower, towards the ground. " I am far too weak so please... "

Mahoja gripped on both the bookman's feet. " Please just find a way to avenge Anita and the crew for me! " Wet tears fell from her face to the ground.

" Tsk! " Lavi raised his finger quickly to his eye cleaning a small tear. Bookman looked the other way on purpose to fake he had not seen. He got up and reached towards the door. Lavi followed with his shoulder hiding his eyes.

The woman remained in her position.

" We'll do what we can Mahoja. " Bookman said without looking back. Lavi raised his face in surprise. Bookman walked out. Lavi ran after him afterward.

**LONDON TRAIN**

Allen Walker boarded the train once again. He laid down on the train chair. He's stomach growled.

" Damn it, I'm so hungry... " He whispered to himself raising his arm to his stomach.

_" Stupid Neah made me run away from the Order to find Timcampy - "_

Allen stopped for a moment in order to coordinate his thoughts. He sat up.

" _Wait, wait, wait, how do I even KNOW he's called Timcampy! Why the hell is this golem golden and not black to begin with! _"

Allen almost pulled his hair from his head.

_" I wasted my last bit of money on this train and I am so freaking lost! "_

The people faked not noticing but in between, a small boy stared directly at him. A stare of curiosity. His hair was brown and he's eyes blue. He wore a helmet in his head and stripped clothes. He held a bag in his arms.

The boy flinched as he noticed the white haired teen lowered his gaze.

_" Am I really murderer...? "_

Allen raised his hand towards his mouth as the thought sickened him.

_" I always wondered what it would feel like when I'd kill my first human as a Noah... "_

Allen half closed his eyes. _" Noah..."_

Allen almost felt like crying at the thought of his family. _" Noah! My family! Even now I still miss them. I wanted to stay a Noah but be an Exorcist, such a moron I am! "_

Allen crawled up as the nostalgic feelings began to hunt him once again. _" That's all I wanted! So why? Why is it that even after finally having my wish granted, to be an Exorcist, I am still empty! "_

Allen looked up at the train roof hopeless. _" I'm not happy. I am not. But...why? "_

A tear fell down as he gritted his teeth and hid his eyes underneath he's hair. _" Why is it that even now I still keep my word...? "_

**FLASHBACK**

Allen finally seemed to control his sobs. He got up and looked at Cross seriously. " I'm sorry Cross, you will forever be my one and only master, but no matter how I may look like, it had never been in my options to join you. "

Allen walked forward in front of Cross who had lost his balance, both for the deep cuts on his back and for the huge shock that hit him. " I am NOAH and I will not now, not ever and never till the day I die! - " Allen pointed his claws at Crosses throat.

" Be able to stand the thought of betraying my family, myself, my beliefs or my father! "

**FLASHBACK END**

Allen punched the window. " Even now I still keep my words Cross! " He shouted loudly startling the people on the train.

_" This Exorcist bullshit haunts me! I'm ashamed, truly ashamed! All I wanted was to make sure you hated me Cross, kill you and continue with my Noah life but then that idiotic STUPID Earl just HAD to_ 'make me happy'_ and grant my wish to send me to live with the Exorcists! "_

Allen was about to continue his thoughts until suddenly he felt as somebody sat beside him and put a bread in front of his face. Allen blinked. He looked beside him as to find a little boy with a helmet in his head. He carried roller skates in his arms and looked the other way hiding his embarrassment. Allen blinked once again.

" Ummm... "

" Eat it! " The boy shouted. His face turning red.

Allen looked down at the bread and then up at the child again.

" A - Are you sure about that! " Allen pointed at the bread laughing nervously.

" JUST EAT IT! "

" Y - yes! "

Allen quickly devoured the bread in one bite. He looked the other way embarrassed, just like the boy.

" Ummmm, I don't know what's up but thank you for the bread. " Allen muttered softly but the boy heard anyways. Allen was so red he couldn't even come to smile or look at the boy.

" You were sa because you were hungry right? " The boy declared.

" No! " Allen shouted even more red than before.

Allen then noticed as the boy smiled towards him instead. He raised his hand hinting Allen to shake hands with him. " Hiya! My name is Jean! "

Allen blinked. He shook hands with Jean not really catching up. He smiled politely.. " Hello there, my name is Allen Walker. "

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**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.**


	17. Peace and Grief

**W- wow. I was so shocked at how much people like my story.O_O! I thought nobody did... My bad. ^ ^' Oki then Heart of Darkness is ALIVE AND ONGOING. :) Thanks guys/girls. Sorry I misunderstood.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way. Hoshino Sensei does!**

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**Chapter 17: _Peace and grief_**

Kanda and Komui walked in between what seemed the ruins of some sort. There were tables, beds, ornaments, paintings and all types of common household objects scattered on the ground. The floor was covered in dust. The wall had a huge hole in it.

Komui kneeled down. He took out a tube. A tube in which he placed the dust inside. Kanda on the other hand investigated the markings on the wall. He could easily tell the cause of the explosion had been that of an Akuma's bullet. He looked back.

" Oy! Komui! "

Komui got up and looked at Kanda. " Yeah? " He said in a non caring tone.

Kanda pointed at the wall. " This was made by an Akuma. "

Komui raised his hand towards his chin. " Hmmm, then it was probably an Akuma attack? "

Kanda nodded. Komui smiled and patted Kanda's back. " Well it's decided then, Allen Walker just happened to be here when an Akuma attack appeared. "

Kanda felt like punching Komui but held himself. " That doesn't remove the fact he might be a traitor. "

Komui sighed. " What if he was just weak and couldn't stand even a level one Akuma? "

Both men blinked and looked at each other suddenly in shock. " Wait, he couldn't defeat a LEVEL ONE AKUMA! " They shouted in unison.

Kanda ched. " And where is he to top it off! Damn Beansprout! "

" Beansprout? "

" Hmph! "

**BACK TO ALLEN**

Allen arrived at what seemed to be a commoners home. He stared at Jean who in happiness seemed to toy with some machinery in what seemed to be his room. Allen remained wide mouthed at the huge amount of junk that piled it. He didn't speak a word as he wanted to remain polite of the child who, just hours ago, had saved him a little bit from his starvation.

Allen blinked. He looked over at Jean. He hadn't spoken a word since they arrived.

" Ummm Jean? "

" Yes? " Jean continued to screwdriver some type of black thing, not really looking back.

A sweat drop fell down Allen's head as he smiled politely. " You like to invent stuff huh? "

Jean stopped screwdriving and looked back. He offered an excite smile. " Yes! "

Jean jumped down from his seat towards Allen. " Just like my daddy Russell I want to be a scientist in the Black Order! "

Allen smiled. " Eh? That's ni- " Suddenly Allen felt Jean punch his stomach.

" Eh! What are you doing! "

Jean stomped towards the door. " Hmph! Treating me like a little kid, you jerk! "

Allen glared at Jean who walked outside. He sighed and sat on Jean's bed. He looked up at Timcampy who seemed to always be on his shoulder now.

" Damn brat! " Allen screamed loud enough so Jean could hear down stairs.

" Damn you bastard! " He heard from downstairs.

Allen stood irritated for a moment. He held himself from screaming again. _" Ah- that's right, Jean saved my life... "_

" I'd better be polite! " He grunted to himself in a whisper.

For a second Allen stared blankly at the air. _" Now that I come to think of it, Black Order? "_

Allen looked around the room curiously. There were strange box looking things with a paper beside it that read _' Finder gadgets to paralyze Akuma. '_ On the wall there was a chalkboard, one in which there was a drawing of two boys, one that read Jean and the other that read Leo. Both of the boys in the drawing had squares in their arms that emanated light that paralyzed Akuma. The title of the drawing read Akuma Hunters.

Allen stared confused and a little worried. _" I don't know much of the Black Order or anything about Exorcists but... "_

Allen looked up at at the door. _" Isn't this dangerous? "_

Allen then noticed a black ball on the table. It was the object Jean had been screwdriving before. Allen got closer as to investigate. The black ball had wings and a huge eye on it. Allen picked it up quickly. He's eye's widened. A smile slipped his mouth in excitement as he's eyes glittered.

_" Wha? This look's exactly the same as the thing Cross used to talk with Komui! "_

Allen closed his eyes and scratched he's head. _" I don't remember how it was called but if this thing works I can call and get back to the Black Order- "_

Allen stopped midway on he's words. More sweats fell from the back of his head. " W - wait what am I saying? Go back to the Black Order? What am I saying? "

" What are you whispering about? "

" Eck! " The black ball fell from Allen's hands to the floor. He looked back quickly to find Jean. Jean had a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in he's hands. He looked up at Allen surprised and then down at the broken Golem. Allen stared in horror at the broken golem while he's stomach grumbled extremely loud. Jean burned with fury.

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOUCHING MY STUFF! " Was heard from even the outsides of the home.

Allen sat on the bed trying to hide his view as he at the cookies. Jean sat on the floor fixing the black ball. " You dumb ass, you stealer, you meanie! Who gave you permission to go snatching my precious belongings! "

" Curiosity! Curiosity Je - "

" Curiosity my ass! You were totally about to steal my golem! "

Allen blinked. " Yours? " He frowned his eyebrows and pointed at the golem. " Isn't that something that belongs to the Black Order?"

Jean punched the floor with his screwdriver." No! It's mine! My dad gave it to me so I could talk with him! "

Allen's eyes glittered again all of a sudden. " D - does it work! Can I call them to pick me up right now! "

Jean suddenly stopped fixing the golem. The Golem flew up the room. Jean stared at the ground paralyzed. The golem flew up. Allen looked up, staring in awe.

" You... "

" Eh? " Allen looked down from his shoulder. " Yes? "

Allen almost startled himself as he saw Jean stare at him in admiration. " How do you know of the Black Order? Your not wearing any robes like a Finder... " He drifted off.

Allen raised he's hand in defense. " Hey calm down, I'm a good guy! "

_" Finder? What's that? "_

Jean jumped on top of Allen on a hug. Allen tried to break free. " If your not a Finder, then you must be an Exorcist right! Right! "

Allen widened his eyes. _" E - Exorcist... "_

He looked down. _" That's right, I'm an exorcist... "_

Jean's smile dropped. " Allen? "

" This is the first time... "

Jean got up from on top of Allen. He walked in front of him and tried to stare at Allen's face. " Allen? A - Are you ok? First time what? " His words trembled.

Suddenly Allen got up and sat. Jean's eye's widened as he saw Allen smile innocently. A tear in his eyes. " Thank you Jean... "

" Huh? "

" This is the first time anybody has called me an Exorcist! Thank you, Jean! " Allen quickly cleaned his tear with his sleeve.

Jean blinked. " W- Wait, I was just kidding, you really are an Exorcist! "

Allen looked down at his hands. _" Am I...?"_

He half closed his eyes. _" Nobody on the Black Order has actually told me I am an Exorcist yet... "_

He then looked up at the worried Jean and smiled in reassurance.

Allen chuckled hiding his face with his forearm. Jean flinched. _" What a moron I am, before I knew it, I came to instinctively think of myself as an Exorcist!"_

**FLASHBACK**

_- Allen... - The Earl said trying to hide his slight anger and replacing it with sadness - That's your innocence that's making you think that -_

_Allen who was looking at the floor raised his head a bit._

_- Every person compatible with innocence has the natural instinct to want to be an Exorcist. I knew this day would come so it's not your fault. It's just an instinct you can overcome. - The Earl smiled even more than he could. - And I know your strong enough to overcome it... -_

**FLASHBACK END**

More tears fell down Allen's cheek. _" I am so sorry Earl! It seems as how things are now I won't be able to overcome my Innocence after all! "_

" Damn you! " Jean fell down at the floor. Allen had accidentally pushed him away. Jean looked the other way.

" Umm, umm sorry if asking you if you were an Exorcist offended you Allen... "

Jean felt Allen pat his head. " Don't apologize Jean. "

Jean widened his eyes as he saw Allen kneel down towards him. " On the contrary I should be apologizing to you. "

" H - huh? "

Allen offered a deep innocent fragile smile. A smile that almost brought Jean himself to tears. " Yes I am an Exorcist, Jean. "

Jean could not find words as he could not understand a thing.

**BLACK ORDER**

The whole group of scientists remained wide mouthed as they heard the conversation that was taking place on Russell's Golem. Lenalee herself was dripping tears down her eyes. Their eye's were that of surprise mixed with a deep remorse and happiness. The room was silent so Jean and Allen would not notice the entire scientist group was hearing. Suddenly they heard whispers and how the communication fell.

Lenalee dropped shocked to the floor. " Allen! " She creamed out tears she had been holding.

Reever ran to hug her. He who was also crying.

" I can't believe it Lenalee! How could we have even thought he was a traitor! "

Lenalee sobs grew louder by each second. She sobbed on Reever's shoulder. " We have to welcome him! " She looked up. " We just have to welcome our new Exorcist! "

Johnny cleaned his mucus and tears with a tissue. " What is this? Why won't my tears stop! " He shouted.

Other scientist also dripped tears.

" We don't even know that boy. " Johnny continued. " But somehow, in some way, he is so pure I can't help but cry! "

Russell himself had silent tears drip down his eyes. " It's because we are guilty. "

Reever pressed Lenalee's hug. " It's because up till now, we had never actually considered him an Exorcist! "

" We just considered him a traitor we were holding down... " Lenalee whispered in sobs.

" This happiness, this peace... " Lenalee opened her closed eyes. " Why do I - no - we feel like this? "

**LONDON CHURCH**

Kanda hid his face as tears fell down them. Komui also. Both men were embarrassed of the sudden cry.

" What is this? " Komui muttered as he looked down.

" Che! " Kanda felt like wanting to rip he's eye out. _" What the hell? How come we started to cry all of a sudden! "_

Komui started to laugh. " Kanda is it only me " His hands trembled. "But don't you also feel as if..."

Komui tightened his hat. " We have just gained a new family member? "

Kanda though annoyed nodded with shyness " I can not remember the last time I felt so happy.. "

" What? Did you say something? " Komui mocked him.

" Nothing! "

Komui could not understand why but suddenly Allen's face crossed his mind. The same happened to Kanda.

**ARK**

Road raised her head from the bloody floor. She felt unknown tears fall down her eyes. " E- Eh? "

Her heart felt as if it were to tear apart. She felt as if she had lost something. Something so important, she could not come to put into words.

_" Wha? Huh ? "_

" Allen...? " She whispered. Suddenly a horrible thought crossed her mind.

" Allen! " Road sobbed on the ground not really holding herself. She tried to get other words out of her mouth but only the word Allen came out of her dry throat.

" Allen what did you do! Allen! "

_" Damn this isn't good something bad... "_

Tyki's cards fell from his hands by accident. He softly raised his hand towards his cheek. " A..."

He felt a wet tear. " llen? "

Jasdero and David hugged themselves in a hug. One crying on top of the other. " Allen! "

Lulu slowly closed her book. Tears fell down her eyes. She whispered unheard words.

Skin hit the wall continuously. He couldn't explain why but he was crying. " I hate to cry! Damn you Allen! "

The Earl sat on his rocking chair. He cried loudly. Wisely laid on the ground beside him, his entire body scratched. Wisely hid his tears under his hair.

" What! Huh? Allen! What did Allen do! "The Earl cried out loudly.

" Somehow I feel as though my little Allen is drifting away! "

Wisely stood quietly. The Earl looked down towards him. " Wisely! I trust Allen! He couldn't have right! "

Wisely remained silent once again. " WISE - "

" HELL SHOULD I KNOW! "

The Earl widened his eyes. Wisely got up and slapped the Earl. " WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT! "

The Earl was about to speak up but Wisely slapped him once again. " HUH! YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE! "

Wisely frowned and grit he's teeth. " JUST HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU EARL? HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU HE WOULD BETRAY US YOU ASSHOLE! "

The Earl could not even drop tears. " Huh? M - My fault? But he was supposed to miss us! "

Wisely burned in fury. " He does! He does miss us, like crazy too! " He looked the other way. " H - he just took it the wrong way is all! "

Wisely quickly started to sob himself. Something the Earl had NEVER seen him do. Suddenly Wisely felt as the Earl caressed his hair.

" I can't believe how little faith you have in Allen Wisely... " The Earl said in a soothing voice. Suddenly he felt as Wisely pushed him and headed towards the door.

" WHO SAID WE DON'T HAVE FAITH IN ALLEN! " Wisely lost balance and fell on the wall. " Who said... " His voice became lighter but completely covered with pain.

" Stupid Earl who in the fuck's mind said we don't believe in Allen...? "

Wisely left huge sobs out once again. He looked up with his eye's open. " Maybe it's because I can read other people's hearts but this hurts Earl... "

Wisely raised his hands at his face. " We, Tyki, Road, Jasdero, David, Lulu and even Skin - ! "

The Earl stared blankly with his huge smile.

Wisely got up and reached the doorknob. " Have ALWAYS believed in Allen! "

The Earl flinched. " Wait, Wisely if you go out threw there - ! "

" The others will see me? " Wisely looked back. He spit that out completely not hiding his irritation.

" U - uh yeah? " The Earl said softly.

" YEAH AND YOU KNOW WHAT! SCREW YOU EARL! " Wisely closed the door shut.

" Wha? Did Wisely just - "

The Earl hid his face with his hat. " Is this really all my fault? Allen... " Even the Earl was too ashamed to drop tears now.

Wisely almost jumped up as he found all the Noah, except Road, remained wide mouthed in front of the Earl's door.

" W -Wisely I didn't know you could talk like that! " Tyki said totally in shock.

Lulu, the twins and Skin exchanged confused faces.

" Who the hell are you? " Jasdero spit out with no shame.

" Jasdero! " David tried to hush him. " We don't want to make him even more mad! "

" Uhhh... " Tyki tried to find a proper explanation.

Skin looked over at Tyki. He pointed a finger at the new Noah. " Is this Allen's replacement? "

" No! " Wisely himself shouted.

Lulu raised her hand towards her chin. " I never thought the day would come you would reveal yourself Wisely. "

" You know him too Lulu? " Tyki asked not much surprised as Lulu always knew everything. Lulu nodded. Wisely rolled his eyes.

Wisely passed beside all the Noah's trying to hide his presence. _" Oh God, how embarrassing! "_ His face grew red.

**JEAN'S HOME**

Allen rubbed his stomach as he ate almost the entire meal. Jean and a woman in clown clothes almost felt like puking by just staring at him. Suddenly Allen looked up as the clown woman offered him a towel.

" Why don't you take a bath Allen? "

Allen smiled. " Thank you mam and sorry I ate all the food. "

The clown woman smiled even more. " It's ok Allen, we are happy to help. "

Allen blinked. Minutes later water was falling onto his body. Allen chuckled in silence and continued his bath.

Downstairs Jean jumped up and down. The clown woman shouted, " Leo's here! "

* * *

**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx!**


	18. Leo

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way possible.**

**Chapter 18:_Leo_**

Faint light, falls, onto Allen's pale face. Shades hidden under his dripping hair. His face covered by aching hands. Hands that reached for something, and yet couldn't. A load of junk - as Allen called Jean's inventions - covered the floor. Allen stared at nothingness. Distraught, doubt and yet odd enough peace brought him down to his knees.

_Yes I am an Exorcist, Jean!_

A small tear rolled down his cheek. Weak sobs echoed the room. Memories of Noah, of family, were stronger than he had ever imagined, not that they had ever disappeared. Hurting his fist, he punched the ground. As if one were not enough he punched even harder. A crack split a tiny hole open.

A crispy laugh escaped Allen's mouth, a hint of pain and irony in it. " Oh God, how do I tell this to my family! "

Just as he had lost reason, like a sudden knock, his heart beat. Sharp pain crossed his cursed eye. Dizziness stroke, blood dripped the ground. He looked towards the closed door as if just noticing something.

_Huh?_

Allen's face darkened in horror. He could clearly sense the agonizing presence of an Akuma's soul enter the house. Rotting blood and flesh, that smell, crawled by his very skin. Cold, it was cold, so lonely, so sad.

Allen removed the hand from his eye, as splashes of blood spilled down. Bloody tears accompanied his own.

_Akuma!_

His heart beat uncontrollably.

_Akuma!_

His eyes widened with no reason.

" Ahhhh! Help me! "

Allen could not help, but smash the door open and run downstairs at the sudden cry. He came upon nobody, just the clown woman who waved goodbye. Quickly investigating the area he frowned.

" Where's Jean! "

The woman's arm, still in mid air, slowly lowered. She gave him a peculiar stare. Mostly at his bleeding eye, but, almost, as if she just let it slip, not surprised nor angry, she simply smiled.

" He went with Leo darling. "

Allen as if captivated ,unconsciously, just smiled back with shining eyes. He bowed down slightly.

" I'm so sorry to shout so suddenly like that mam, but! "

" Yes? "

For a second, no words came from his mouth. The memories of Moore's death, his own weakness and his treason were hard on him.

" Not again, I won't let anyone die again! "

" Huh? "

" Ah! Nothing!" He smiled sweetly. " What I meant to say is can you please tell me where Jean is? "

" Su - "

" I'm in a hurry, please! " He shouted loosing his patience.

The clown woman remained silent and with mouth open. She pointed at a nearby hill.

" I heard Leo and Jean conversing about some hill. "

" Thank you so much! " Quickly, Allen ran out of the house.

" Leo! " Jean shouted. He battled to get his breath back. Leo, who seemed lost in his own little world, looked back with a frozen smile. Jean quickly looked down at the floor in disconfidence. He then looked up again.

" Leo, are you ok? " He tried to speak words as fear took hold of him.

" We can always hunt for Akuma some other day, I mean- "

" Because my mom died? " Leo spat out cold and simply. Jean widened his eyes. He almost felt a tear roll down his eye. The memories of Leo's mom shocking death. They were sad and lonely. Sudden and life changing.

" Leo... " Jean looked the other way and nodded silently, hoping Leo would not notice his wet eyes.

"I know it's hard for you Leo so-so... "

Leo looked back to the front and continued his walk.

" Ah, Leo-! " He left Jean with words still in mouth.

Leo stopped walking as he felt a warm tiny arm press his shoulder. He looked over, there, Jean sobbed in silence.

" It's ok Leo! I understand! "

Leo stared a cold smile, as he felt Jean tighten his grip. He saw as tears dripped uncontrollably from his eyes.

" So - so let's go home ok? " Jean closed his eyes and smiled in remorse.

Leo remained silent. Jean's arms trembled.

" Damn you Leo, say something - " Jean snapped as he held himself from slapping his friend into reason.

Leo's cold smile remained immobile from his face.

" Stop laughing! " Jean could barely keep himself up as he felt defeated.

" It's ok, Jean. " Leo finally spoke tenderly. Jean's eyes sparkled in a mix of hope and fear at the tender voice.

Leo patted Jean's head. " We should stop hunting Akuma. It's over. "

Jean fell to him fall on his knees at the words. " What? Leo? Huh? "

Jean felt as Leo helped him get up again. Leo's smile did not drop or flinch. " Come with me, there's something I want to show you. "

Jean totally destroyed, as hunting for Akuma was kind of their thing, just nodded in disconcert.

Leo...

Jean and Leo arrived at a cemetery. The place was cold, dusty and abandoned. Wind blew Jean's hair. He tried to keep his calm as he stared at what was occurring in front of him. Leo had kneeled in front of his mother's grave. No tears fell, his smile remained. Jean got closer, as to comfort his half sane friend.

" Leo it's ok to cry... "

The silence was intense, Jean felt as though his very breath would crumble Leo. He dropped no tears, nothing. Jean could not tell how much time both boys had remained in silence, nor what went inside Leo's mind but just as his confusion had yet to cease, a presence, a dark menacing aura, stood behind him. Normally he would just look back, but this time, somehow, it was different. It was frightening, bloodthirsty, desperate, but more than anything else, hopeless. Jean could feel his blood freezing, his body tensing, the beats of his heart louder by the second. Slowly, with frozen eyes and barely no air to breath, Jean turned his head.

**Please review and comment, tips if possible, thx.  
**


	19. Sorry guys, hiatus

**I was thinking and thinking A LOT on deciding this... almost a week, but yes I'm going on hiatus for some time(for those who don't know what it means, it means to take a break from doing something.) I really, really REALLY want to go back and edit this, this may sound weird, but I made two huge plot errors in some past chapters and I honestly have not been able to concentrate on my recent chapters or even inspire myself well out of frustration because of that. I won't change too much of the plot, just fix some errors, edit everything since the start and add some scenes. I will not rethink this or change my mind. I will NOT delete the chapters already posted but as soon as I finish the new edited ones I'll replace them. I'm not sure how much time I will take since I am still an amateur and, obviously, that takes time plus school in my area starts next week, but I'll upload them soon as I can. I hope you can understand and I am really sorry if I made anybody mad. In the meantime I really am not sure if I'll be posting anything else since that will slow me down, but maybe, who knows? **

**And please keep in mind Heart of Darkness in NOT canceled and I have not stopped writing it, it is just being edited, ( Though I'm not very good at editing but I'll try. ) Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction till this chapter. Any questions or doubts feel free to ask. :)  
**


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